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How to Convince a Man You're "The One" For Him.

How to Convince a Man You’re “The One” For Him

Have you ever heard the expression, “There’s always one who loves more” in a relationship?

The first time I heard the expression was actually from a friend of mine who lived in the Phillippines. Turns out this concept, covered frequently in psychology articles, is also age-old advice from folklore.

The idea is that there might be one person who “loves more” in a relationship. And depending on who you ask, that’s either “OK” or it’s “going to be a stressful marriage.”

What do I think about a relationship where one loves more than the other?

To me, it reminds me of the idea of one partner “convincing” or “persuading” the other one to love them. At that point, it really changes the dynamic of the relationship.

Some call this masculine energy, as in one partner trying to charm the other one. Or, giving a lot of good reasons why their partner should appreciate them.

But to me, this feels like “telling” rather than showing.

It’s not a great approach, and that’s regardless of whether it’s a masculine or feminine energy in control.

What you want to do is SHOW your partner that you’re the one for him. All the more so if you’re a woman trying to get a man interested in you! You don’t want to go too hard on the “convincing him” masculine energy because then the relationship takes a dangerous turn. Now, you’re loving him too much and he’s second-guessing why you’re the one trying to sell to him!

If he’s already on the defensive it’s only a matter of time before the momentum shifts against you. It’s a much better idea to “stay a challenge”, or be slightly on the defensive, RATHER than stepping over those bounds and becoming the chaser.

Now the question becomes a matter of how can you SHOW him that you’re the one for him, not by convincing, but by making him feel it?

Let’s discuss three important strategies.

 

1. Get Him Emotionally Attached to You

 The best way to “convince him” of anything is not by logic but by pure naked emotion! He must FEEL attached to you and emotionally invested in the relationship you have. And yes, it’s true that you want him to think you’re beautiful, and a perfect match, and the woman he was meant to be with. But again, logical. We need emotion and feeling!

A man FEELS emotionally invested when it’s about HIM. His feelings, his attraction, and his experiences. Are you giving him the emotional foreplay that he wants?

Do you challenge him in fun and flirty ways? Are you a mystery? Do you tease each other back and forth? Do you enjoy witty banter together? Do you always seem to have fun when you have a conversation?

As the relationship progresses, are you asking deep and personal questions? Are you encouraging him to share, making him feel like he can tell you anything? You’re something more than best friends. You are the person he goes to most for advice, to vent, and for encouragement. He trusts you!

That’s the emotional connection that tells him “She’s the one!”

 

2. Awaken His Masculine Instincts

You may have figured out by now that it’s better to let a man chase you than you try to chase or convince him. But that’s only part of understanding the masculine ego. It’s not all “conquer and win.”

Men are actually driven by a much more primal instinct – to protect, provide, and take care of his family.

If a man feels like he’s protecting you or even “claiming you” that’s the prelude to commitment. When he provides for you, (even if it’s something small at first) that’s usually a sign that he’s girlfriending you – or seeing you as someone he could commit to.

Rather than try to convince him or push him towards commitment, try encouraging his “provider” instincts. That doesn’t mean you have to act helpless or ask him for favors. Instead, reward him for the protection he does offer with genuine affection. Reward him for what he provides for you. Encourage his “commitment-friendly” behaviors and reel him in slowly.

 

3. Be Good For Him

Finally, remember that you have to deceive him in order to convince him that you’re the best girlfriend he’s ever had. There’s nothing wrong with being a good person and a high-value woman.

Successful men actually don’t chase after bratty girls, spoiled princesses, or abusive personalities. Boys do. But real men don’t. Real men who want a family and who want to CONTINUE their successful lives want a woman who’s good for them.

This kind of man wants someone mature, stable, in control of her emotions, and who has a great life independent of him. He’s also not threatened by intelligence. He wants a smart and equally successful “soulmate” who will always “have his back” so to speak.

When you’re good for a guy, he has no logical OR emotional reason to question the relationship. Deep down, every good guy wants a good woman. He wants a healthy family life. He wants a marriage built on real compatibility.

If you can find a way to captivate his mind and emotions – all the while holding onto your positive qualities – he will fall head over heels in love with you.

 

Show Him You’re The One

In closing, remember that a partner “loving more than the other” doesn’t have to be a source of stress for you. Don’t wrestle with your man to be dominant in the relationship.

Let him lead. Let him love you more than you love him – not because it’s true, but because you want him to feel it. You want your man to convince himself that he loves you more because that’s what gets his emotions involved.

Encourage him to love you more and reward him for every mile he runs just to put a smile on your face.

Interested in learning more about men and getting them to commit? Read my books on relationships located here!

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