It’s easy to say something like “It’s easy to catch a man…but hard to keep him!”
Men are attracted to women, right? Sometimes you may have so much attention from guys you barely know how to deal with it. But if there’s one thing you’ve learned about men so far in life, it’s that when you actually like them, they seem unavailable!
Is it really all about the sex? That’s the easy motivation, that’s a stereotype that seems to make some people feel better at night.
But the truth is far more uncomfortable, far more real. And that is simply: that we are ALL a little too picky, at least when it comes to choosing our partners.
Women have to be picky. They have to make sure they’re not settling for the wrong type of guy. They have to find someone they really like, someone who is special and who will give them the passion and love they require in a serious relationship. Men will usually hit on a woman relentlessly because they are visual creatures of impulse. It’s up to a woman to put on the brakes and tell a man, “This is not what I want, I’m sorry.”
And men are very similar to women in this respect, with one huge difference. They get very picky only after sex happens! After their evolutionary motivations have been fulfilled, they now get to think critically, logically, and do all the math in their heads that women have already figured out. Yeah, it just takes men a little longer to reach the emotional maturity of women. But we kind of knew that one!
So the problem is that both men and women are picky and “keeping a man”, and keeping a relationship a long-term commitment, requires that (A) you stop being so picky and (B) you learn to compromise. That’s a relationship summed up in a nutshell, you do have to let things go. And if you are really compatible and like each other a lot, you WANT to compromise. Being with each other is a more rewarding experience than holding out for perfection. We’re going to go into a little more detail on each point and discuss a few more ways to catch a man and keep him.
1. Go for positive qualities, not just disqualifiers.
You might have read before (perhaps even here) that making a list of attributes and positive qualities that you want in a man is a good idea. It keeps you focused, helps you avoid mismatches and dysfunctional relationships. But some single women do get too carried away and rather than actually start making a list of good qualities, they hyper-focus on all the things a guy cannot be.
This is going beyond the line of “high expectations” and is going into obsessive rule-making. While you should have standards, these standards should always be based on positive qualities. As in, I like HIM the most because he’s a hard worker, smart, funny, and always treats me with respect.
Nitpicking is entirely negative. When a woman nitpicks, she’s not actually focused on whether the relationship makes her happy. She’s focused on why she deserves something better. Why this man doesn’t match her ideal fantasy. Her perfect lover.
This is where problems start. You start to develop unrealistic expectations. You may start to judge men based on their job, their history, their family or some other minor point. If you’re mostly disqualifying men without giving them a chance to show you their positive qualities, you could be cheating yourself out of a very positive relationship.
Consider this example: a woman who likes a guy at first but then decides that he’s too overly responsive, or texts her too much, or likes her too much. She’s disqualified him…but was it because he lacked positive qualities she wanted? Or was it because her “type” of guy has always been emotionally distant men who never give her the affection she wants?
2. Don’t be too “good” – be fun!
One common scenario that happens a lot is the girlfriend who becomes overly controlling, overly serious, and goes full disciplinarian. The sooner she starts showing these unlikable qualities, the sooner the guy loses interest. This is because too many women get nervous, start changing their behavior, and end up doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what impressed the guy in the first place.
If you really want to impress a man, stop trying to organize his life. Focus on having more fun and leaving him with positive memories and a happy, hopeful state of mind. You’re independent and you encourage his independence. You both laugh together, go on adventures, and focus on the NOW rather than worry too much about the future.
When you do this, you give HIM the option to lead and to progress the relationship forward into commitment territory when he is comfortable doing so.
Being happy and staying that way throughout the courtship – and yes even into marriage!—is really key here. Men are more likely to be happy themselves if you are happy and if they feel they can help make you happy.
3. Feed his “addiction” to you – Give him more of what he wants!
Every man has a definite reason why he’s attracted to a certain woman. He probably has his own list of “Very Important Qualities” (whether thought out or even a subconscious list of things he enjoys). The question is, do you learn what he likes about you? And do you give him more of it?
For some men this is sex and so their partners keep things exciting in the bedroom, they take the initiative. For other men, trust and intimacy in conversation is the most important thing and so they are always available when their partner wants to talk.
What draws your man to you? What qualities does he admire? When he chases you, what kind of attention does he like? You feed his “addiction” for you by giving him more of what he wants and avoiding the boredom and stress of a relationship—all of which are caused by complacency. Laziness, overconfidence, taking each other for granted—this is what makes the guy wonder what he’s still doing here.
But giving him what he wants, while keeping that positive attitude, reminds him every day of all that he has with you!
Russian Woman Reveals Her Secret For Making Men Commit
How would you like to suddenly have the ability to make your ideal man become hopelessly devoted to you?
I’m talking about:
– No more wondering why he’s not pursuing you… the way men used to.
– No more trying to “test the waters” and see if he’s ready to commit.
– And no more struggling with the agony of not knowing if he’s truly yours.
As it turns out, the secret is a lot more simple than any of us realized. Almost every woman from Russia learns this from their mom, but for some reason we were never taught how it works.
Luba Evans, one of the world’s most famous dating coaches has just uploaded a new video which reveals the biggest secret that makes men fall head over heels in love with Russian women, and how you can get the same results with your man.
And no, it has nothing to do with having an accent 🙂
You’ve never heard anything like this before.
16 thoughts on “How to Catch a Man and Keep Him”
Yeah it’s really such a sweet idea and I love it,but there is one challenge though it’s really not easy to pliz a human being simply coz of the way the world and it’s challenges have temed us.but still we can always try.thx alot coach
Lot of trainng to be with a guy. He has to be his Mother spoil child.
Great advice! Where are the tips for men to keep women interested & engaged? It’s definitely a two way street.
It’s on the men’s dating site. This is the site for women.
Any serious here?
Very nice lesson to we all
Why can’t this be about how to please a woman always has to do with men’s feelings and the women have to sacrifice but of course a man is giving directions
Because this is a women’s dating site. Go to a men’s dating site and you’ll see tons of articles about how to please women and men on there complaining that it’s always about women and what they have to do to please them and how it’s a two way street and how they should post articles about how to please men.
My man keeps breaking up with me he says we have nothing in common we been dating 4 months he wants his alone time alot he don’t want to commit said s he don’t love me please tell me what to do I like this guy alot
I would take his message to you, and stay away/ get away from him. Leave. No communication . And see if he comes back / kisses you.
If he doesn’t then there is your answer. He’s not your guy.
Someone else will be, though..
I can be a nit picker . So it’s great to focus on the qualifiers ! He is fun, funny caring, listens to my feelings and thoughts, is becoming more hard working and hopefully less broody;)
What if it’s the man who has grown complacent, lazy, and overconfident?
Has becomes minimal in his efforts to keep you wanting to be with him and expects the woman to keep things exciting and fresh. I’m tired of being the giver while he does very little. Right now I’m in no-contact. Appreciate me or lose me.
How about an article on keeping a divorced man going through custody and divorce issues with his ex interested in you?
Sure, I can do that
It’s really a good acknowledgement the only problem is that men are attracted to women as you stated but I thank you for that research continue sending for me search educative ideas like those ones