How to Be Sexy (Do These 4 Things)

In previous articles we discussed how to feel sexier, by focusing more on relaxing and being your true self. Of course, simply feeling sexy inside is not always enough to attract the right kind of man. You have to send out signals and imply these feelings and emotions so that men pick up on them and want to pursue you.

In this article, we’re going to discuss how to put those signals out there, so that you’re not merely feeling sexy, but actually projecting it to the world. Let’s take four examples of how to be sexy and discuss why men immediately notice what you’re doing.

1. Flirt with (almost) everybody you meet.

We use the term “almost” because obviously there are going to be many people you shouldn’t flirt with for obvious reasons. But in general, one reason why you may not be getting the reaction you want from men is because you don’t flirt ENOUGH.

If you don’t meet that many new people and only get out of the house occasionally (for work and such), then you probably should flirt with almost everyone you meet. Because the way things are right now, you’re not flirting enough. Guys probably don’t even notice that you’re there.

Maybe your instincts are to only flirt with guys you like, you know, whenever they come around or whenever a really good looking guy approaches you. This is the wrong approach. For one thing, you flirt less overall when this happens. The law of averages says that “a particular outcome is inevitable”, if you predict it statistically. Therefore, if you send your resume out to multiple employers, and if your resume qualifies, it might be considered inevitable that someone will eventually hire you.

Men certainly understand this statistical law. If a man only asks out two new women a year, and gives up on dating when they’re not interested, he hasn’t actually tried that hard. In like manner, if a woman only flirts with two guys year and is cold, unresponsive and aloof to everyone else she meets in life, she will produce mostly negative energy.

And this negative energy will precede her, so to speak. She won’t strike anyone as particularly friendly. She won’t develop a positive reputation if she avoids meeting new people.

She might even develop some social awkwardness if she NEVER flirts, and never smiles, and eventually fall out of practice of flirting.

Now let me clarify flirting does not mean making embarrassing innuendos or throwing yourself at a man. Flirting simply means giving off positive feelings and letting the people you meet that you like them. That’s all flirting is, at least “light flirting.”

When you flirt with people you encourage them to talk to you. You give positive facial expressions (like smiling, eye contact, animated faces and body movements) and you encourage them to talk to you. Most people we meet in life are indifferent. A flirty, friendly person is a good listener, a good audience and a good neighbor.

That’s all flirting means in this context. So do you flirt with enough people? In other words, are you sending positive energy off to most people you meet? Only good will come from this, because you DO want people to like you. Practice flirting and you will not only get better at it, but you will develop a reputation among your network of friends for being personable, attractive and interesting.

2. Get out of your comfort zone.

One of the best things you can do to feel sexy and try new things is to step out of your comfort zone and avoid your usual routines. If you have a set plan for when you date, reshuffle your options. Do something that is slightly outside of your comfort zone, but not completely scary or dangerous.

Do something new that you’ve never done before, something that you’ve always thought looks like fun to do. Use dating as a means to try some of these new things. You can also take more chances on your own, fulfilling your bucket list dreams one at a time, whether it’s taking a new class or trying a new sport. You might actually meet new people when you do branch out of your routine. Trying new things literally triggers a happiness response in the brain, making these memories fun and all the more memorable. When you do your usual routine you go into autopilot and stop experiencing life to the fullest. It’s time to change that!

3. Give yourself permission to be sexy!

You can’t try to be sexy with any reservations or doubts about whether it’s the right thing to do. Allow yourself to be sexy. Give yourself permission, without any attached guilt. If you feel strangely about flirting with a certain guy, because he’s married or dating someone else, then don’t do it.

But if you want to flirt, then don’t guilt yourself or talk yourself out of a good thing. Enjoy the idea of you being sexy. Give yourself permission to be desirable and to have a man you like chase you.

If you’re having difficulty flirting with a man you really like and getting him interested in you, you may have to try a little bit more than just “friendly” or light flirting. This doesn’t mean you have to be shameless or forward. All you have to do is project more sexual charisma. One easy way to do this is to think about sex, whether an experience you once had or something you saw in a movie. Maybe a song puts you in the mood or taking a long hot bubble bath. Think of sexy things before you go on a date, or before you talk to a guy you like, so that you are in the proper, relaxed frame of mine.

Thinking sexy thoughts and feeling how your body responds to those thoughts instantly changes your presence. You start to sound more intimate, more feminine when talking to men. They pick up on “something” even though they might not understand at first. Just try to keep things subtle and not too over the top or obvious. A little “sexy” goes a long way when you’re just starting to date.

4. Reach out and touch someone.

Although it’s not wise to touch every single person you meet, when you feel strong attraction to a man it’s definitely a good idea to break the touch barrier and reach for a hand. Or a shoulder. Or a wrist. Maybe even his face or his hair if the timing is right. Most men want to know that you are interested in them before they take a chance in approaching you.

Touching them is one way to let them know you approve of their presence and you welcome them to flirt more with you. Touching a man and getting a good response from him also helps you feel sexier, as you begin to speak more intimately and have better eye contact.

These tips will help you start the process of dating and project a sexy and confident appearance. Remember, you shouldn’t wait for the perfect man to stroll into your life and THEN start flirting. Always flirt and always be friendly and approachable. This will help build your flirting skills and make you a likable person—the kind people talk about! The more your reputation for being amazing precedes you, the more interested a man will be.

In a future article we’re going to discuss How to Look Sexy and actually evoke feelings in guys so that they’ll approach you!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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Matthew Coast

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