How to Be a Seductive Tease

Everyone likes to play mind games…

Unless of course, you’re one of many people that say, “I hate mind games! If you want to play mind games, keep walking!”

I notice I see this statement more and more in dating sites, apps and the like. It got me wondering how people define “mind games” and what exactly is it that we don’t like about it.

I’ll tell you right now the typical guy’s take on mind games.

He thinks like this.

“I buy a girl dinner. I tell her about my life. We talk all night…then she tells me she’s not attracted to me! Why? Because I’m a nice guy and don’t play mind games with her?”

The female version of the same statement may be, “I don’t date players because players just want to screw with my head and they don’t want anything real. But I’m looking for a real man.”

Interesting…it appears as if these two frustrated singles are irritated by similar issues. No, neither of them want mind games. They simply want to meet someone compatible, someone who fits them, and someone they really click with. Seems easy, right?

So they don’t want to play mind games. And they meet someone over dinner. All seems to be going well.

There’s just one problem. Neither person is feeling it. There’s no sense of fun, mystery or discovery. That means sexual attraction is minimal. Both partners are boring each other because the conversation is too polite.

Why so?

The issue is not that you should be playing mind games. The issue is that you need to FLIRT MORE, laugh more, and TEASE each other to build on that sexual attraction.

If you find that your dates seem to be running out of words to say, then help him out a bit by learning the art of seduction, flirting and teasing. Here are six tips to help bring your date alive and make this a fun night.

1. Stop being so easily available.

This means not only making him try harder when you’re on a date (as in getting him to chase you) but even before the date begins. Stop being so readily available. Don’t readjust your schedule just to please him. Don’t sit around the house and wait for him to call. Be busier in life and make him work for your attention. Make sure he really wants you—and remind HIM that he must like to be this persistent. Refuse his first offer…but offer him a counteroffer. A tease starts teasing him from the very beginning!

2. Don’t be rude…be funny and difficult!

Playing hard to get may be good advice…but it’s so often misunderstood the real lesson should bear repeating. Don’t be so easily convinced, don’t be easily charmed and don’t be easily impressed by him…

But for god’s sakes, make it fun! Have fun in the conversation “resisting” his advances and smile, laugh and tease him. Aloofness is not fun. Coldness is not attractive. But “resisting him” creates an energetic dynamic. You laugh more, he tries harder, and you come across and very confident. There’s no need to “laugh at him”. You can still be funny but respectful.

3. Keep things natural…be yourself, but be the best version of yourself.

The old expression “be yourself” is slightly misleading. You don’t want to project any negative qualities. Rather, exude your best qualities. Be calm, casual and try to imagine yourself on a regular outing with friends. Don’t try so hard to impress him. Don’t feel obligated to say yes to everything or agree with him on every issue. Don’t be polite when it feels more natural to disagree, or crack a joke, or do something a little bold. Remember to smile frequently and stay positive. Avoid depressing or too-serious topics, at least in the beginning.

4. Be mysterious…teasing is not just being funny, but refusing to satisfy his curiosity.

Learning how to be mysterious is a great teasing technique. You don’t have to lie or play mind games either…all you have to do is withhold. Stop giving him information that he didn’t ask for. Stop trying to tell him your life story. Make him work for that precious information. In the meantime, enjoy teasing him and keep things light and funny.

5. Be unpredictable.

The next phase in teasing is to go against their perception of who you are and surprise him. Don’t do what’s predictable. Avoid “safe”. Avoid routine or having the same predictable conversation. Be curious and open-minded. Try new restaurants or new activities. Give him the impression that you have no fear and are a fun date who will try anything once (within reason, of course).

He will quickly learn that you are unlike most other women and that he can’t “control” you or even figure you out. He now feels like you’re a bigger challenge (especially since you haven’t slept with him yet) and will work harder to please you.

6. Keep him waiting but give him all the attention he craves.

The longer you keep him waiting for sex the better…you need him to fall for you or “emotionally invest” in you before you even think about being intimate with him. But yes, keeping him waiting is a grueling test for a man.

The best thing to do is to give him assurances that you’re interested in him, but not quite ready to move forward. Let him entice you, draw you out, and then come to meet him…but then take one step back…followed by more teasing and flirting.

You’re letting him know that you do like him and so feel some chemistry, but you also like seeing just how far he’ll go to impress you. You’re as commitment phobic as he is, but you do reciprocate his interest and send him good signals.

This positive encouragement to keep chasing is what keeps him going strong and doing his best work to entertain you.

In conclusion, remember mind games are Machiavellian. They’re Selfish, destructive and painful. Flirting is not. Flirting, teasing and mystery are what turn an otherwise stuffy date into a great night out!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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