Deep Questions To Ask A Guy To That Trigger Emotional Attraction

Let’s be honest: that all important “emotional connection” that a man is supposed to feel doesn’t just happen because you’re both in a romantic restaurant. It doesn’t always happen just because there is mutual attraction either. Sometimes you both just wait around awkwardly, figuring something will happen…

And it never does.

This is because one partner usually does take the lead in triggering an emotional connection. And oftentimes, the first move is made by a woman who sends a subtle signal to the man, letting him know it’s okay for him to initiate that spark.

And one of the most effective ways to take a man from the state of being cool and flirty and to transition into the emotional attraction is to ask him questions.

Not yes or no questions and not just open-ended questions either. Open-ended questions encourage him to talk about something he cares about. These series of “deep questions” are designed to get him thinking and then turn his attention back to you—as someone who really understands him in a way that no one else does.

1. “In a perfect world, where money was no issue, what would you be doing?”

Trigger his ambitions by asking him about his dreams, long-term goals, or even wildest fantasies. Men are ambitious by nature, even though some might be suppressing how they feel. What better way to trigger a positive emotional response than by asking them about their future legacy, or about their heroic desires.

You can also reverse the question and ask them what they are the most grateful for, if they’ve already lived an exciting life.

2. What’s your greatest accomplishment so far?

Find out what he’s most proud of and how achieving this moment really influenced his thinking and his perspective of life. Help him relive the value of his life so far, while also helping him to appreciate he has plenty more time to achieve even great things.

3. “At what point in your childhood did you feel the happiest?”

Evoke strong emotions from him by jumping to the past instead of the future. These questions open his vulnerable side and ask him to define happiness as he once knew it. What great “exposition”, to explain to you and himself, what he really needs in life to feel spiritually complete again.

4. “List three things you and I seem to have in common.”

Why wait for the emotional connection to be forged when you can actually make him visualize your common interests? While this seems like a playful move, it’s actually giving him a direct command—one he won’t feel threatened by. He will immediately feel an increase in intimacy because of these shared qualities. He now has a foundation to build upon.

5. If you cold wake up tomorrow with a new ability or power what would it be?”

Most men will love this question since it lets them think about their inner superhero and what “power” they would want the most. Of course, reading between the lines you will quickly realize this “superpower” actually refers to a shortcoming a guy thinks he has, and one that he wants to correct. This gets him in touch with his vulnerability without actually confronting him about sensitive issues head on.

6. “What’s your most embarrassing moment that you can remember?”

Another negative memory that can be healed with laughter and a positive frame of mind. This question makes your man feel vulnerable at first, but confessing his worst memory may actually help him live down the experience and let go of some of that trauma. He will not only trust you with this private information, but will also learn to laugh with you, coping in a more positive way with a bad memory.

7. Ask him to confess something he’s never told anyone.

An excellent way to earn “higher security clearance” and become one of his most trusted friends. Men are just dying to confess their sins and their darkest thoughts to someone, even though practically all of their friends and family are unsuitable for such a purpose. Then you come along and offer him a deal he can’t refuse! Now you’re going to be a “vault” for whenever he wants to get something off his chest. He feels the freedom and so he feels a connection with you AND a new honesty within himself.

8. If you could talk to the You from the past what would you say?

A deep question and scenario that really helps to trigger his emotional memory. What mistakes would he undo? If changing the past was unavoidable what warning would he give himself to better cope? This will put him in a very vulnerable state and yet still provide a comfortable “distance” (In this case the unrealistic scenario of time travel) He realizes nothing can change the past but changing his perspective and learning from it helps tremendously.

9. Was there ever a time I crossed the line or hurt you?

This may be too bold a question to ask early on in the relationship, but once you start bonding from other deep questions, this is an even greater opportunity to trigger an emotional response.

First, he will think back to whether there was any negative feeling in past conversations. Then, he will either list a memory where he felt ambivalent or perhaps just offer more details into his side of the story, which explains why he felt hurt. Be patient during this time when he’s talking, letting him know he can always confide in you. Earn his trust by apologizing for hurting his feelings.

You’re showing him not only that you care about his comfort and security, but also that he can openly share his feelings with you, without judgment and with only positive reinforcement. This may allow him to open up his heart in ways he’s never tried before.

Remember that sharing vulnerability – triggering his emotions, then sharing your own perspective from your life – will create deeper emotional closeness. Don’t just wait for chemistry to happen. Start getting him to talk about himself and to trust you. Then, when he’s ready, push his button and have this incredible experience with him.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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