Whether you call a casual relationship with a guy “friends with benefits” or something “special and magical”, one thing’s for sure.

It’s a BIG RISK.

And depending on whether you’re naïve or a little jaded, this relationship is either going to be really awful or really good. What I want to do in this article is take an objective look at what FWB means.

It’s true that a lot of dating coaches will tell you to Just Say No to Friends with Benefits – because it’s a dead end. But on the other hand, I can also think of a few situations in which casual is BETTER than serious.

Let’s first discuss what casual sex means to a man.

1. It means attraction. It means scratching an itch. That’s all.

And that’s pretty much the truth of it. Now is it possible that a casual sex relationship could evolve into something serious? Well anything’s possible…it’s possible you might end up dating NBA star Shaq. But is it likely?

Based on an article from Thought Catalog, here are some of the reasons why some men prefer Friends with Benefits.

• Because they’re too busy to mess with a real relationship
• Because they don’t seem themselves here (in this location and this life) for the long-term
• Because they’re not happy with where they’re at and sex is like drinking, it’s a nice distraction
• Because they are single dads and their children are their ONLY priority
• Because they’re rebounding from a serious relationship
• They’re kind of sort of cheating with you(!)
• They’ve been hurt too much and just want no brainer sex and romance with no chance of entanglement
• Laziness
• They don’t want to be monogamous as a lifestyle

In other words, men are aware that “serious relationships” are a lot of work and very often have unhappy endings. So you could say in most of these cases, they are protecting themselves…protecting their feelings and their heart.

Of course, your natural instinct may be to help them heal and rekindle the romantic and idealistic love they once felt for somebody. But is this realistic?

2. Casual sex to a man means that you voluntarily took yourself OUT of the serious relationship category.

This is the part that hurts. Men who are dating casually may very well be interested in finding love…but it’s very rarely with you. It’s true that a lot of movies and books depict FWB relationships that blossom into love. But in the real world it’s rare.

This is because guys usually do not see casual sex relationships as emotional connections. Usually, these couplings involve sexual attraction, flirting and hopping into bed quickly. But what this pattern is missing is the emotional and intellectual bonding. By sleeping with a guy too soon, you are basically telling him, “Who you are doesn’t really matter to me…I just want the pretty face.”

It’s hard to imagine a man being interested in a woman after that kind of dynamic is exchanged. And though you may not come out and actually say those words, that’s what he feels. If you don’t bother bonding with him or getting to know him, you’re telling him that only the sex interests you.

But what about the scenario of giving him the sex he craves and THEN bonding with him in the afterglow? Does that ever work?

3. Men who sleep around casually don’t consider the afterglow as bonding – it’s a bonus.

I know this part is confusing because doesn’t a man acting all romantic and sweet towards you count for something? Once again, if all you did was flirt and have sex, then the answer is probably NO.

You bond in conversation. You bond when you talk about things close to your heart, when you share memories and opinions. In the “afterglow” stage you may experience very lovey-dovey feelings…and the oxytocin drug rush is indeed powerful.

But if there’s no emotional connection, PRE-EXISTING to sex, then it’s just a rush. It’s just a good feeling. It’s like drinking absinthe. Sorry to be crude but I do think it’s important for a woman to understand the risk of the FWB relationship. It may not work out. And you may be left heartbroken and confused, when you find out he’s met someone else that he really likes.

But what if you talk about really deep things after sex? What then?

4. Men are always comparing the women they date. Are you better than all his other opportunities?

It may be human nature to compare all the people we’re dating, regardless of gender. A man’s ultimate goal is to answer the question: of all the women I’m dating who would make me the happiest? Who would I be most interested in for the long-term?

This is where positive associations come in. It is theoretically possible that a guy could fall in love with in a casual relationship – but in order for that to happen, you would have to talk about deep emotional experiences, the things you have in common, the things that he wants in life.

It is a good sign if a man actually remembers things that you share about yourself, and that he confides in you private thoughts and “secrets” that he trusts you with.

But you have to ask yourself, “Since I’m giving him sex for free, what incentive does he have to choose me above everyone else?”

This is why women who are serious about nabbing a boyfriend and not an F-buddy usually have sex and then back off, letting him know that she is NOT going to be his casual buddy. If he really wants her, he has to invest more time in her…in romance…in emotional connection.

So is it impossible to transform a casual guy into a steady boyfriend? No, but it’s definitely a very volatile relationship that you can’t take too “casually” either.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<

    8 replies to "What Does a Casual Relationship Mean to a Guy? (READ: Very Important)"

    • Kate

      !This is what I exactly need to. know! Thanks for this

    • Tisha Clarke

      I am am emtional and mental wreck. Letting attraction for one man Who works in the same firm sleep with me for 3years and never brought me out any where or treat like am speacial…. to say he feels nothimg for me though he kisses me like he does but has someonelses he does be with when he is not at his parents house

    • Lucy C

      I live with someone with nothing tied to my name, where he can easily tell me to leave even though been together for 10 years. He does what he wants and fill his needs when it suits. There’s never been a day when he has asked if i am ok. I even moved towns with no friends here, not even his friends are my friends or want to be. He told his friends I had nowhere to go so he asked me to move in. This is 5 years living together. Nothing has changed since the day I met him. Is this a casual relationship?

    • Love

      I’m been talking to this guy who doesn’t want a relationship. It’s been about two months now. The other day was the first time we had sex. When we were together he ask if I wanted to know more about him and i did so I ask more questions but some I already knew answers to because we text or called each other like every other day. But up to a few days ago he has never really ask questions about myself. He said he doesn’t like texting he rather talk face to face. On that same night we slept together he asked me all kinds of questions threw out the night. Some were about if I still have a relationship with my child’s father and does my child’s father still want to hookup. I assured him that i don’t speak to my child’s father. When the night was over he kissed me said to text to let him know I made it home. I did later on an we both said goodnight. I told him we’re just casual why would I want to know anything else about him. Or him wanting to know about me? I thought casual sex is just about sex an not your personal life? Why bother to ask questions when u don’t really care anyway?

    • Swan

      Hi!

      This article has been helpful to understand some of the casual relationship dynamics. I highly appreciate your resources. However, I have question if it’s possible to provide me with some idea.

      I went out with a guy for two weeks, the chemistry, mindset, communication, everything was effortless and aligned. However, when he expressed he was looking for casual relationship. And I was just looking to get to know guys without having any outcomes set from the get go. Cause I was just starting to be out there after one of my parents death. Also I know I am not a person who would be interested to know someone casually, as well as I don’t let people get to know me casually. I am a private person and I consider my time and energy to be invested to create experience.

      So I expressed my state of being, and that we should not see each other as we are not on the same page. We respected each other’s decision. Suddenly After three months he got in touch with me via text asking if I am seeing anyone. So my question is how realistic for a guy to change his casual state in three months? And what should I be expecting from this situation? I haven’t replied to him yet.

      I’d be happy to get some basic guidance. My sincere appreciation.

      Thank you.

    • Jennifer

      the situation here is , i am in a casual relationship with this guy , this started out as a good friendship then when we hooked up we both were really cool with what was the need here , then he took me out for a snack and we started going out often , i am afraid here as to what if he wants more than what we have now . being casual , which is what we both agreed on in the beginning . and of late we both seem to like each others company without the sex element . we both ended up telling so at a point of time , but we just became more physical after that , and now he has began to honestly put his thoughts forward , being more outward about his past and hate and everything .
      Now , i don’t know what am i dealing with here , a friend or a someone more than that .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.