8 Signs He’s Faking His Love for You

One of the most cunning opponents in dating is the narcissist. Narcissists, sociopaths and god forbid “narcissistic sociopaths” are among the most unpleasant and unbearable people to be around. It’s hard to imagine having a long-term relationship with one of these guys. It’s constant misery and you’re fighting a losing battle to try against all odds to make them happy…

It’s hard to imagine why any woman would want to date a narcissist…

Oh just one problem though. It’s really hard to see a narcissist’s true colors when you first meet him. After all, he prides himself on being loved by others. He wants to impress you, romance you and yes LOVE you.

That’s the love-bombing phase. That’s when he goes overboard with emotion and flatters you with romance, sex, and promises of happiness, only to yank it all away later on, when he gets bored of you.

It’s a vicious dating pattern and unfortunately, many women do not see the narcissist for what he is, it until it’s far too late. And yeah, it sucks that many narcissists just so happen to be rich, handsome and extroverted.

But I’m going to let you in a little secret for spotting ad stopping these narcissists, players and womanizing guys. You can always tell a man’s true colors if you observe MORE than just what he’s saying, and actually pay attention to how he’s behaving. Let’s consider eight signs that show undoubtedly he is faking love for you and has no plans for a long-term future.

1. You don’t qualify as family or even to be near his inner circle of friends.

Men who are serious about you will introduce you to their families and friends. If he keeps you away from them, regardless of excuses, it shows that he’s not ready to combine worlds…and he probably never will be. Even in social media, you’re still the “dirty little secret” he won’t admit.

2. Meanwhile, your friends don’t like him. At all.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that a player / narcissist CAN charm your family because he knows that’s his obligation. But I am also fairly sure he will NOT try so hard to impress your friends, and friends of friends. He only has so much fakery to give in a day’s time so he won’t give 100% to all of your friends, if he feels he can neglect some of them. That’s the friend you should listen to…the one who sees him in his “natural state.” Aloof and unconcerned about someone’s feelings.

3. He’s not much for cuddling.

It seems that men that aren’t really in love with you are immune to the cuddling and afterglow—which are some of the best parts of the serious relationship. If he only makes you feel loved during sex, and seems to always want to be alone after sex, he is getting no pleasure from actually being intimate with you.

4. He “falls in love” way too soon.

The MO of the narcissist is that he love-bombs partners with low self-esteem. And he can sense that you desire love and to not be lonely. He knows making grand spectacles of his love will win your loyalty. He tends to be extreme in the way he says “I love you” too, with poetry and sweeping statements. But in between these grand romantic gestures you may notice you haven’t actually spent much time together. It’s more of a love at first sight thing…which is straight out of fairy tales.

5. He doesn’t challenge you…he tells you just what you want to hear.

There will be moments of testing and challenging in a normal relationship, it’s part of growing together. But when a guy seems too perfect and knows exactly what to say to impress you, chances are he’s not communicating with you at all, but telling you what you want to hear.

6. He’s moving too fast. As opposed to commitment-phobic guy who moves too slow.

Yes, the correct answer is “progresses in the relationship at a balanced pace. Obviously, a man who never wants to commit, even years later, is not the guy you want. But what’s even scarier is a guy who wants to commit within weeks or months of meeting you. You have to wonder, what is his motive? Is he after sex, money or something else? Is he really that desperate for a woman that he’s willing to devote his entire life to you, after knowing you for such a short time? If he’s handsome and successful, there’s a very good chance he’s NOT desperate but has an ulterior motive.

7. Look out for gaslighting techniques early on.

Most people think of gaslighting techniques (making you feel crazy and doubting your own insanity) as something that happens later on in relationships. But with a narcissistic personality, he will often manipulate you into admitting he’s the best guy you’ve ever dated. He’ll find fault with everyone and (playfully) get you to admit he is good for you. A real man doesn’t have to persuade you of this. You know it and you tell him. NOT the other way around!

8. He treats everyone else BADLY.

You may have to look beyond your family and circle of friends because narcissists can fake sincerity to a degree. What they cannot do, however, is be nice to everyone they’ve ever met. Way too much method acting there and not within his abilities. (After if he was capable of being nice to everyone he wouldn’t be a narcissist!)

There’s a very good chance he has plenty of disgruntled friends, enemies, exes and acquaintances he double-crossed. Go get the real story from them.

Love bombing is very real. Remember his offerings are not always gifts and grand romantic gestures either. Sometimes love bombing can include flirting, teasing and giving you lots of attention. Just be aware that something that seems so wonderful and perfect is usually too good to be true. Perfection is impossible and real love is earned over time. Don’t let a man trick you into bed or into spending away your resources simply because he caught you at a vulnerable time.

Work on your own self-confidence and then analyze the relationship as it progresses. Real love is patient and it will only grow over time. Narcissists and players, like a storm, will pass over you quickly.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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