8 Conversation Starters to Get Him Interested

He’s a man of few words…

Speaking, of course, of every man! Why is it that men are all chatty and flirty during romance but as soon as you start talking “Real Life” they clam up?

This is not just a guy thing, believe it or not. Many people feel socially awkward and isolated in this age of media oversaturation. Getting someone to feel comfortable and talk is a skill. It may be innate for some, but it can also be learned.

Remember the primary motivation in getting a man to hold a deep conversation: getting him to SHARE.

Let’s discuss 8 conversation starters that are sure to get a rise out of that oddly silent fellow.

1. “Hey, I like your [weird and unusual thing].”

Complimenting a man on his looks may get a positive reaction or it may make him feel self-conscious. On the other hand, complimenting him on his “weird and unusual thing” is always the safer and smarter choice. Good looking guys are sometimes too cocky to accept physical compliments. Instead, focus on what they DO that’s interesting and unique from all the other men. Does this guy have an interesting hobby? Is he wearing something cool or different? Does he have a visible tattoo? Men usually take pride in being different and setting themselves apart from the competition.

2. “What are you doing?” (But a little more specific)

This seems like a simple conversation starter, right? Comment on what is happening and get him to share information. Of course, asking him directly what he’s doing is a bit mom-like. Instead, ask him about the specific thing he appears to be doing at that moment. Is he reading a book or listening to music? Are you both in the same place for a specific need? Commenting on what’s taking place, without complaining and without overwhelming him with too much information, is a simple but effective way in getting him to talk about himself.

3. “So…this is happening right now.” (Call attention to something mainstream and current)

Another simple line, right? And yet it is and was the cornerstone of most casual conversations that eventually lead to serious dating. Whether it’s people talking about the weather or talking about a local show or event coming to town, communities (and the men in those communities) are always interested in what’s happening around them. Discussing current events is another way to get him talking, while also putting the dating idea into his head – “Hey maybe she’s like to go to that new art exhibit we’re discussing!”

Just keep the topics positive (no whining or complaining) and not too political or religious, since those seem to be conversation killers. Watch the news or surf the net to see what’s happening around town and if you might be interested in going to such an event.

4. “Can you do me a tiny little favor?” (Get him to invest in you)

Men like to provide for women. That’s why asking for a little favor, even a favor as tiny as borrowing a pen or doing research for you, is a big deal. It allows him to demonstrate his ability to provide. He won’t realize this, of course, but will simply feel motivated to continue the conversation. He may ask what you’re working on just to keep the conversation going. Be prepared with an answer.

5. “How was your day?” (Or preferably something more specific)

Asking your crush how his day went (or how that thing he was talking about went) is another expert way to start a conversation. This builds continuity. This creates a personal interest and demonstrates your investment in him—by remembering important information he gave to you and then building upon it.

6. “What was it like when you went through all that?”

Every guy has a story to tell. Experiences he had, his childhood, his memories, etc. Whether he was in the military, or grew up in a crazy household, or did something amazing for his 21st birthday, rest assured there’s something. But he’s holding onto those conversation gems until there’s a reason to speak of them. That’s where you come in. The more you chit-chat about him and about events and other things like we discussed, the more likely he will volunteer this information to you just to feel interesting, or feel important, or feel mysterious and attractive. He will feel the desire to impress you—whether or not he’s decided he’s interested in dating you. Most men do like to have their egos stroked even by friends and colleagues. So encourage him to share more details when he makes these comments. Give him a good “reaction” too, by being expressive with your face and voice and encouraging him to keep talking.

7. “I can’t wait to see you again!”

This expression is clever because of how mysterious it sounds. Naturally, when he hears this a man thinks, “Does she like me?” But he also knows it could simply be a statement of approval, friendship and a bubbly personality in general. Now interest is piqued! He wants to know what YOU’RE going to do. He is now more eager to see you, to see what might happen next. Shrewd and smart!

8. “Ya’ think that’s bad! Remember the time I…”

That’s right, we’re finishing the list with a flashback! It’s true…one of the best ways to eliminate awkward energy when starting a new conversation is to tell a story. Share something about yourself—an anecdote that’s quick, funny and easy to follow. You’re showing him that (A) you think of him as a close friend and so worthy of this story; (B) that he will appreciate why this is important; and (C) you’re stimulating his emotions by sharing something out of the ordinary. Great way to jumpstart a conversation that’s quickly fading away into boredom.

Remember these conversation starters the next time your guy clams up. It’s all about getting him to talk again by wheedling him into a fun and flirty conversation.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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1 Comment

  • Christina Molitor

    Reply Reply February 18, 2018

    I would love to hear more from you! 😀

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