The very idea of a woman fighting for a man is kind of hard to imagine. We’ve been raised in a culture where men chase, where they “duel” so to speak, over a woman’s affections. The idea of a woman doing the same for a man is kind of rare. In fact, an aggressive woman might even chase a man off, since most men like to be the ones who chase.
But when we use the term “worth fighting for”, in the words of Mulan, we’re talking about a different sort of dueling. As in, a man that’s worth pursuing – someone that’s worth waiting for and actually working for.
You don’t have to chase him or beg for his attention. But you stay motivated. You strategize. You leave him positive signs so that he will pick up on a mutual attraction.
You might be wondering though, “Wait a minute…I thought men are supposed to fight for me. Why am I doing all the work? Is this guy even worth the effort?”
That is the million dollar question! Assuming that SOME guys (but not very many) are actually worth fighting for, waiting for, and really trying, how do you know if you have a keeper?
How do you know that this relationship is special and not doomed to fail? (With all that heartbreak you certainly don’t need)
We’re going to consider six signs that this guy is very special and is someone worth fighting for, worth waiting for, and maybe even worth chasing – just a little bit.
1. You are always happy when you’re together.
You might be surprised at how many couples can’t stand the sight of each other. Many couples have to stay together for money, children, or for keeping up appearances. But you know you’ve someone truly special when you enjoy being in each other’s company.
Your partner (or date) has a positive effect on you, bringing out your best qualities and making you feel good. You have the same effect on him and you both match each other very well. The end result is a relationship not built on conflict but on helping each other as a united team.
2. Your values are almost the same.
Your value system, speaking of your worldview on life, family, career, justice, and personal pursuits, defines you. Even when your hobbies change, or even when your goals change completely, your values rarely ever change. Your values represent the best things about you, the best traits your parent(s) gave you.
It’s no coincidence that people who share values tend to get along better and have longer lasting marriages. Opposite values partners have volatile relationships that frequently end with fighting.
But once you find someone who shares your values, you can both find a way to peacefully coexist, knowing that you want the same things in life, with or without each other.
3. You don’t have to act around them.
It’s a gift to be yourself around your partner and him not to judge you for it. It’s a gift to say anything, think anything, and completely trust one another. It’s not just open-mindedness, but also acceptance. Love, respect, and trust.
It’s something that’s hard to find, especially dating random people who you don’t have much in common with. You’ll find that a lot of people can only deal with friends that suit them, that match them in some way. In order to keep the friendship, sometimes these friends have to act, or exaggerate, or mirror someone else’s energy just to fit in.
Not so with your partner. You don’t have to act or try to be some ideal vision of who he thinks you should be. He just loves you for who you are and encourages you to be natural and honest at all times.
4. You feel comfortable confessing anything.
Your special relationship goes beyond just naturalness and sincerity. You are also able to be brutally honest with each other – and not freak out! That is special too, because think of all the couples out there who feel like they’re walking on eggshells, trying not to offend their partner with a thought.
Or a secret. Or a thoughtless statement. When you find someone that can talk disagreements out, or laugh at a joke rather than rushing to take offense, or kiss and makeup rather than staying angry, you know you’ve met someone special.
And not just special or lovely – but easy to get along with. And if you’re ever been in a dysfunctional relationship before, you will understand how important a quality PEACE is in a lifetime marriage.
5. You help each other progress and are always on the same team.
You both support each other because you feel unity, and like you are literally on the same team. It’s you against the world, never you against each other. You’re not overly concerned with who’s right or wrong, or who is more deserving of something nice.
That’s not teamwork, that’s competition. Couples who deeply love each support each other, root for each other, and try never to criticize. You’re more interested in helping your partner be happy, and celebrating him for the man he is, rather than wishing he was someone else.
6. You don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone else.
Indeed, this is the more telling sign. If the thought of living with someone else terrifies you, or seems unpleasant, then you’ve really met someone worth fighting for and someone that matches you.
Sex, lust, and infatuation come and go. And you usually don’t want to live with the person you lust after! On the other hand, you can’t imagine life without your current partner. It’s just too stressful to think about a life change or about moving on without him.
The comfort he provides you on a day to day basis is why you keep fighting to keep him.
Remember, scarcity is one of the most important qualities when it comes to attraction and love. When you learn your partner and realize how truly unique they are, how you will probably never meet anyone like them ever again, that helps strengthen the emotional connection.
Finally, when you meet someone who loves you as much as you love them, that is a sure sign of a strong and enduring relationship. Once you realize you have that, lust can’t even compare to the emotional fulfillment that you both feel. Ask anyone who’s been married almost their entire life – real love is always worth waiting for!
Is He Worth Fighting For?
Some relationships are worth saving. Others keep hurting you no matter how hard you try.
My free quiz looks at your relationship as it is today and helps you decide whether to stay or go.
