I know from experience that when you’re lonely and someone tells you that you’re single “by choice” it hurts like hell. I was once in that situation and I thought it was rude for this person to be presumptuous and assume they knew why I was single.
But this was a long time ago and before I learned about subconscious resistance. If you’ve never heard the expression before, don’t worry. For a time I didn’t understand it either. In fact, the reason most people have trouble with subconscious resistance is because they don’t understand it, and so they keep making the same mistakes – without anyone to tell them what they’re doing wrong.
Subconscious resistance means, simply put, an involuntary resistance to making a permanent change in your life. If this change requires forming new and productive habits then you cling to the old ones. Sometimes subconscious resistance can also challenge you by way of doubt. You create worthy goals but then talk yourself out of it, thinking it’s too hard, or that you can’t keep it up.
What is confusing is that you are oftentimes unconscious of these self-defeating behaviors. Your brain is built to regulate physical processes, but mental processes as well. So at any given point your mind is actually filtering out needless details and bringing attention to only the most important information that reinforces your core beliefs.
We tend to only see things that make us believe what we already know to be true. The stimuli we notice, repeats the thoughts and attitudes that make up who you are – who you choose to be. Very often, your thoughts and impulses mirror things you’ve already done in the past.
So when we say cliches like “a change starts with a new thought” it’s actually very honest and a somewhat scientific thing to say. By changing our thoughts, we change our attitudes and impulses. By changing those, we change our future – and without subconscious resistance.
Now that we understand what it means, let’s discuss more about some self-defeating behaviors that might keep you single – even if you determine that you want to find a good man and get married.
1. You’re Too Cynical
It’s time to be honest – even if it hurts. If you have reached that point of “all men are…” or “true love probably doesn’t exist…” then you’ve already doomed your next relationship!
I know it’s hard to do…but if you want to give a relationship a real chance, then you have to put those prejudices at the door. Stop assuming. Stop projecting. And stop being so guarded that you could miss a genuine opportunity to be happy.
Being cynical can be your biggest obstacle in falling in love. It’s not your fault that you’ve had bad relationships in the past. But if you continue to bring all the baggage of the old exes into the new house, it’s never going to work.
2. Your Independent Streak is Fake
This is sad to see. A woman reads all these nice articles about being independent and how guys are attracted to that…
And so she creates a facade of success and independence. She seems to be doing things right!
But then…she compromises. She gives up too much to please the guy she’s in love with. She abandons her life, her joy in life, just to make him happy. If that happens, then it almost seems like that independence streak was never real. And if the guy senses that you really have no life goals except for waiting on him hand and foot, so to speak, it’s always going to have an unhealthy dynamic.
Don’t create a life just to please a man. Change your life and be happy – and see who that attracts to you.
3. You Still Want What You Can’t Have
This is very often a sign of immaturity, or perhaps some trauma from the past. Point is, if you’re only attracted to what you can’t have – and seem to lose interest when you finally get it – then you’re pre-programming your relationship to end badly.
This is a vicious cycle that is sabotaging all your efforts to be happy.
Look, it’s OK to be particular about what you want. You don’t have to make excuses for what turns you on, what inspires you, and what kind of ideal man you’re looking for. No one says you have to compromise or “settle.”
But be realistic about what you will make you happy in the long-run. What qualities are too difficult to live with? What are your dealbreakers, when it comes to dating a prospect? What is the most important thing a man needs for you to fall in love? These questions matter.
4. Your Standards Are Too Perfect
Now for the other extreme. If you set the bar so high, that no man could ever live up to your expectations (outside of a fairy tale or TV show) then it’s time to reevaluate what’s important. Remember, success, money and power are tentative. Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. Think more about qualities that he should have and why they matter to you.
Once you find those attainable qualities, don’t compromise! Let those criteria define your search.
5. You Haven’t Learned from Past Mistakes
Why do bad relationships happen? Why do we waste our time, falling in love and experiencing heartache? If you learn something from it, then it was not all for nothing. It was an important lesson, a wakeup call, and maybe even a profound moment of self-discovery.
Now you know what you don’t want and can still identify the ideal that you want most. Now that you’ve lived through a relationship that didn’t make it, you can identify problems within yourself as well as a mate that doesn’t match you, and cannot change. You will make better decisions next time!
If none of this is making any sense and all of these past relationships taught you nothing…then there’s something you’re missing. Look deeper.
6. You’re Afraid of Winning
Finally, one of the biggest challenges in finding happiness is a fear of success. In this case, a fear of winning, and actually finding the love you want and have longed for, for so long.
Why are people afraid of success? It’s very often linked to low self-esteem, or perhaps childhood trauma. Sometimes people just don’t think they deserve success, or can’t imagine it actually happening – and so they work against their own desires.
It’s time to start visualizing!
Remember, your subconscious mind is the “gatekeeper” that separates happiness and misery. Do some soul searching and you may be surprised at what you find.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
