Relationships do not fail or succeed based on the stars. They are not decided upon by a god or allowed to continue by Fate. Relationships are only what WE are willing to put into them. They are not something that must be kept alive by carefully leaving it alone and keeping the status quo. Relationships evolve and they grow even more dedicated and faithful over time.
However, a relationship only grows more intimate when it is nourished, just like a plant or a pet. If you take everything you have for granted, you may very well lose it. But if you cherish it and take care of it, it will blossom into true love—the kind that lasts a lifetime.
Now it’s true that all relationships are give-and-take. No relationship can survive one person giving and one person taking. There must be a compromise, a willingness to please each other, and mutual respect. But there are also needs that you have that must be fulfilled, just as he has needs.
These are not just sexual but emotional, intellectual and moral needs. All of these needs must be addressed or else you will feel unsatisfied in the relationship, even if you’re still in love. Remember these are the five things you need from him—what you absolutely deserve in a relationship as a woman who respects herself and knows her priceless value.
1. You deserve his time.
If he doesn’t have time for you, this will never work. A busy man may be a good man. But if he always puts his career first, and always relegates you to second place, then his priorities are not in the right place.
It may be that some men are dedicated to their career and you should be supportive of that. But does he make up for that lost time by arranging time for you later on?
Does he make time to talk to you? Does he schedule you into his complicated and “on-call” life or does he neglect the basic need to communicate with you on a regular basis? You cannot keep a relationship growing and thriving on “mutual understanding.” Love must be constantly shared and that requires a time investment.
2. You deserve his empathy.
There are plenty of men you never started a relationship with because they didn’t understand you. If a man wins your heart over in the beginning, nothing changes; he will still have the obligation to try to understand you—your feelings, your thoughts and your intuition.
He should be interested to know how you feel. If he doesn’t understand something he clarifies it. He can’t be expected to know everything instantly, but he should care enough to ask and find out. He should understand the importance of empathy and seeing the story from someone else’s perspective.
Maybe he feels strongly about his right to enjoy independence and that’s fine. You may get into an argument over who gets to decide what and why. He may feel threatened by your strong feelings about something, particularly if it involves him—and what he “ought” to do.
But does he at least try to understand your perspective? Can he hold off on the strong emotion and just consider how you feel this way? This is the quality of empathy and it’s something he needs and you need. Considering your partner’s feelings and imagining things from a new perspective is very important to communication and compromise.
3. You deserve his attention—not just some of it. All of it.
Remember when he first fell for you, how dedicated he was to winning your attention? That attitude must never change or else he will lose respect for you and take you for granted. The more leeway you give him to ignore you for something “better” (or in his mind, something more pressing and important) the more he will prioritize other things above you.
But that isn’t true! You ARE his priority. He should be reminded of that. This is exactly why at this site, we always emphasize the important lesson: reciprocate his interest, when he gives you attention. Don’t give him all the leverage by letting him know that you’re interested. He must always feel that he needs you, he needs your attention or else it will drift. He can’t get the feeling that you will wait on him and worship him—that’s not feminine behavior. It won’t last in the long-run.
4. You deserve his effort.
Many men will want your attention. But only one man will work hard enough to get your full attention by the effort he puts forth. That’s what “powers up” the chase—activating gut level attraction, a dynamic that lasts as long as you live. He will want your attention and when he pays attention to your needs, he gets what he wants.
But in order to increase intimacy, he must also put forth a serious effort. He always tries hard to please you. Though he occasionally makes mistakes, you can always sense that he’s ready to provide for you, help you, and make your life just a little bit easier. When he gives his best effort to provide for you, he puts you first in his life.
He may have a career and engage in other hobbies, but he builds his life around you, including making your new family the center of his universe. Without this genuine effort, there’s no reason to stay tied down to each other. When he loses interest in trying so hard, that’s usually when intimacy deteriorates.
5. You deserve inclusion.
Now this is a tricky part, because most men do resent it when you tell them that you want control over the relationship and the ability to plan ahead. In fact, this is one of the most common mistakes women make—demanding to have power over men.
The shrewd thing to do is to let him know that you deserve inclusion—you deserve to be included in all life decisions and your voice matters. But you must also tell him in such a way that doesn’t threaten him or poke his ego.
It’s not about you controlling him—it’s about you having full power over your own life. Since you’re with him, you must make decisions together. He can’t decide for you. If he tries to do that, you must speak up and let him know that’s a problem. Withdraw, if he starts acting out because that’s not respectful to you. Give him the gift of missing you and give him time by himself so that he’ll come to his senses.
Marriage and long-term relationships should be about mutual respect. When he respects your rights, just as he craves his own independence, he will act considerately towards you. He won’t make decisions that concern the both of you alone because he will want your input. He wants your attention and that’s why he will make sure you’re a part of his life in every way.
Remember, happiness depends on you and how well you communicate to him your needs and wants. Let him know what these needs are by increasing communication and bonding closely. Let him know what exactly you want so that you both can be happy and have an 80-year honeymoon period.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
