5 Signs That It’s Not Time To Give Up On Your Relationship Yet

Knowing when it’s time break up and when it’s time to fight for love can be confusing. If you were to ask your grandparents or great-grandparents I guarantee you they would say that you HAVE to fight for love—you have to really try and suffer to make a marriage work. On the other hand, if you were to ask your best friend in college whether you should stay in a relationship that you’re unhappy in, you would get a quick “No, leave him!”

It’s all very confusing to a woman who wants to fall in love, stay in love and build a family…but not waste years of life making a mistake. There’s no question that letting go too soon can be devastating. Looking back to the one who got away, and the one you realize now that you really loved, is heartbreaking! On the other hand, staying with someone who just uses you, exploits you and never gives anything back – especially if it’s for years on end – can leave you a wreck emotionally.

Are there easy answers?

Believe it or not, YES. There are five easy answers to determine whether or not your relationship can be saved. It may not be too late to rekindle the love you once had.

1. The idea of you two staying together still brings you joy.

Trick question: does the idea of losing him depress you or scare you? Of course, it does! That’s why precisely many women will stay with a man they don’t actually love. On the other hand, if the idea of you two staying together and being happy still puts a smile on your face, it seems like a relationship worth keeping. Your instinct, your gut, knows if this man still makes you happy. If you still want to see his face every night, every morning, and hear his voice in your sleep…that’s proof of strong emotional connection.

Every couple will go through rough patches. But if you love him as intensely as the first day you got together, nothing has really changed. You CAN work things out.

2. There is no main reason WHY you should break up.

Simple scenario: a man asks his ex-wife years later, “Say why did we ever divorce? Weren’t we once in love?” She looks at him and lowers her brow, pitying his denial, knowing he knows the answer. She replies solemnly, “You know why.”

That’s a powerful statement and it rings true. There is always a specific “why” when you’re about to break up and you have no regrets. Because you realize the irreconcilable differences. You know exactly why you can’t live with him and why this will never work out. He knows too, even if he denies it. When you have specific reasons why you give up on the relationship, it’s more concrete, more final.

When you really DON’T KNOW why you want to break up…

As in, “I get angry!” …or “I am tempted by other men…” or “I don’t know, I just get stressed when I talk to him.” These are not reasonable answers. And it’s no coincidence they’re usually said in the heat of the moment. A few hours later you may even regret feeling the way you feel or saying what you did.

Everyone gets frustrated. Everyone is tempted. Everyone gets stressed sometimes. But if you haven’t discussed the problem with your partner, then it’s not really time to start thinking about divorce or breakup.

You owe it to yourself and to your partner to discuss why you’re unhappy and the specific reasons why you find this partnership difficult to live with. When you discuss the problem openly, you give him the opportunity to change. You set a line that cannot be crossed. You give specific criteria for negotiation.

If the relationship fails, you know and he knows why – the reasons are crystal clear.

3. You still empathize with each other.

Couples on the verge of breaking up really lose their ability to “empathize” with their partner. The relationship has deteriorated so badly that they no longer understand – or even care – where their partner is coming from. Successful relationships are built on honest communication and empathy for your partner’s point of view. If you lose that, it’s really a downhill battle. You don’t understand your partner’s motivations…or if you do, then you lost all respect for him by now. The relationship is just a sham.

4. Your partner is putting forth the effort to change.

If you still love him you will be thrilled to see him make changes—changes that are going to save the relationship. You will also work on changing some negative flaws that irritate him. Change is good, when it’s sincere and it’s not robbing either of you of your freedoms.

But here’s something you’ll notice about every relationship that ends… one or both partners refuse to change. They won’t negotiate. They don’t care about the other person’s feelings, or at least not enough so to compromise. They simply don’t value the relationship enough to make changes in order to please their partner.

Just as frustrating is living with a man who promises to make changes but never actually puts any sincere effort forth. He talks and promises and always disappoints you.

Both obstinacy (the unwillingness to compromise) and denial (denying that there’s a problem) have the same negative and toxic effect. They both end relationships.

5. Neither of you two really want the relationship to end. But you’re facing great pressure from outside.

Beware of the mastermind, whether it’s an ex, a friend, a parent or sibling, who seems to put pressure on you to “wise up” and end the relationship…when in fact, you ARE happy most of the time. In fact, the main stress of the relationship seems to come from people who want to split you apart, or difficult circumstances, rather than the two of you.

If you can work on your problems and still find joy in each other’s company most of the time, then there’s no sense in throwing away a very solid relationship. Talk to each other more frequently, with more honesty, and more specifics on how you both can improve. You may be surprised at how strong your relationship could be after just a little maintenance.

Why he won’t be able to live without you

If you’ve been through a breakup recently–

Or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day…

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.

==> Why he won’t be able to live without you

And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message…

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you…

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

==> Why he won’t be able to live without you

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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