It’s safe to say that your ex boyfriend will ALWAYS think about you, at least from time to time. Even if you had the worst possible relationship, he will still remember you. You were part of his life. You may have even been part of the BEST times of his life.
It’s only natural to think back to all the good times and bad times of the past. We dream about the past, we think about it, and yes, sometimes all of us wonder about the things that might have been.
We also tend to “compartmentalize” people and situations that are no longer an active part of our life. In that way, we get on with our lives. We move beyond pain and beyond heartbreak. In some cases, it’s the only way to move forward. We will always “have love” for an ex, even if we know the relationship is doomed.
But…the truth is that statistically speaking, MOST couples that break up still have the hots for each other, so to speak. That means that despite all their claims about “being done” and dating other people, there is still love there. And it’s not “platonic love” – it’s the real thing.
Sometimes all that’s needed to get back together, is good timing and making a dramatic change in your life. This new side of your personality is what grabs your ex’s attention. He wonders how you’ve changed, what prompted it, and what you’re going to do now. You’re already more attractive in his eyes. And now he’s starting to miss you AND envy the new life you’ve created.
After all, it’s very possible that an ex who’s not in love with you anymore will still occasionally call or text you to see how you’re doing. It’s a sign of friendship and goodwill. But it’s nothing like “thinking about you” in that jealous and obsessive sort of way.
That’s the kind of attention you want, the kind of desire that will make him miss you and maybe even want to get back together.
Recognizing platonic love and romantic love from an ex can be confusing so let’s consider four basic situations.
1. He doesn’t just text you rarely…he always texts you! He finds reasons to call you. He’s obviously wants your attention.
The harder a man works for your attention, the more interested he is. Your platonic ex will be fine with a few chats and a rare phone call. But he won’t keep texting or calling you. He won’t find excuses to make plans with you or meet in person. Your platonic ex has moved on. He thinks of you rarely, not constantly.
Frankly, your romantic ex has nothing better to do…because he’s consumed with figuring you out! He wants you back and doesn’t know how to get you back.
2. He is very emotional when he communicates with you.
This can be confusing because sometimes your ex will be extremely negative when dealing with you. He still feels hurt about the breakup and so he speaks to you as if holding his heart on their sleeve. He may be angry, or seem depressed, or even argumentative. The reason why is obvious–he’s jealous. He’s unable to let go and probably angry at himself for losing you.
On the other hand, if your ex is extremely positive he may be trying to make YOU jealous by doing the exact same thing you’re doing to him. He’s playing a game…but the motivation is the same. He wants you back, he’s jealous, and he thinks the best way to get you back is to make you jealous of him.
On the other hand, the platonic ex, the one who really doesn’t romantically love you anymore? He doesn’t feel the need to brag, or talk about how great his life is, or evoke any kind of emotion from you. He just wants to know you’re okay so he can go back to his life.
A man that still loves you will not be so easy to please.
3. He shows a lot of hot/cold, push/pull behavior. He’s confusing you on purpose.
A man who’s still thinking about you, and missing you, has a lot to lose. So either he’s playing you, by intentionally being hot and cold, hoping to make you a little crazy and more attracted to him…
Or he’s doing it subconsciously because he LOVES you, and yet is trying to resist you. Whether this behavior is simulated or genuine, it feels almost the same.
He is emotionally venting and trying as hard as he can to get involved in your life, even if it’s just small text conversations.
The real difference with a platonic ex is that he doesn’t have the obsessive need to reach out, then ignore you, then reach out again. He is “available” if you need to talk but he doesn’t make you part of his life. He’s not interested in pushing your buttons or seeing what response he can get from you. He’s simply a friend, not a lover.
A man who still wants you is all over the map. He’s confused. He wants you but doesn’t quite know how to win you back. If he really was “cold” and not into you, he would NOT reach out and be “hot” for you the next week. His persistence in trying is telling.
4. He’s really not happy for you, or happy with his new life. He was only “happy” when he was with you.
Your crushing ex will NEVER be happy for you, because he envies what your new beau has. (Or even the very IDEA of you dating someone else will upset him) He doesn’t seem particularly happy with his girlfriend, always indicating he still might be interested in you.
Platonic exes are unlikely to dwell on this, at least beyond an occasional, “Yeah I remember that” or “Yeah that was fun.” It’s a fairly dismissive response.
But if the guy is lovesick over you he will always be bringing up great memories, hoping to make you feel something for him again. He wants to recreate those feelings and wants you to remember the best times.
As you can see, understanding your ex’s motivation is all about paying attention to how hard he’s trying to get your attention!
Send your ex this weird text if you want him back
Have you heard about Time Machine Texting yet?
With it, you’re able to shift your ex’s thoughts from all the reasons he wanted to breakup with you…
And transfer him back in time to remember and feel all the reasons he loved you in the first place.
If you want your ex to come running back to you…
And fill his mind and heart with good memories of you…
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If you’re begging, crying, or trying to prove to him you’ve changed, you’re only pushing him further away.
Instead, use this text message…
What if he doesn’t message me no communication… He even blocked me.. I sent message to his email add but no reply… One year already no communication.. I sent message to his Instagram but no reply.. But I’m wondering his profile picture was removed and he replace it with the picture of his new person. He is my ex fiance we quarrel bcoz of this third party.. Now they are now in relationship and their are engaged already.. Its hurts so much to me.. It hurts my heart and my soul..
So sorry to hear this. Why did it end with your ex?
Damn…i would say move on…respectfully…
So sorry I feel your pain cause I’m going though the same just not sure if he’s engaged yet
My X Text every morning an night an sometimes during the day asking how is your day going .what is this ..does he want me back .we are friends now what would you say about this
I did receive a message from the one I consider the love of my life telling me we made each other happy doing what we use to, I miss him greatly and know we would one day make each other happier than anyone has ever made us as I know we are both always thinking of each other
i was under a lot of stress and sent really hurtful, text messages to him that i didn’t know i had sent, i hadn’t messaged him since 6th of June til Friday 25th June, when he got a letter delivered here, i had to send a normal text as he had blocked me on Facebook, asking if he wanted me to redirect it, and i told him i still love and miss him, he responded with ‘yes plz’ so i just put ‘ok will do’
i just want him back it hurts sooo much, lots of people have told me to give him time
i did write a letter explaining things and everyone that read it said its a good letter, including a male friend, i just hope he comes back he means everything and more to me
I was going to do the same thing and write a letter. We had a great relationship he took me away with the kids, I was with him all the time and I know he loved me. We had a huge fight one night and I said mean things and did not mean it. He never talked to me again even though I called said sorry sent emails .. he would not even face me to talk about it.. it was 6 months ago .. he was very damaged from his first marriage very bad..I was going to write a letter but not sure if he will respond ..Jen ..
My ex has blocked me from texting/calling… He also blocked me on social media, but he called me 4 times in a row last month and sent an email-reply saying he needs me & misses me. Nobody BLOCKS someone they don’t care about. You don’t stay angry w/ someone you don’t care about. He’s definitely still hurt/angry. I have no idea what to do! It’s a long story, but I know he’s my true love. Oh- he does block & unblock me from texting off & on-so confusing. Any advice? I’m 39, he’s 22. It’s just a number!!
That is the same age difference between me and my ex.. it ended due to outside influences. He got a payment for being in a traffic accident, his parents have encouraged him to drink and return to smoking pot against medical advice and have isolated him, so that they can spend his money and he won’t question it. We went from texting and speaking daily to over and no communication because his family didn’t like that I was encouraging him to strive towards his goals to recover and not be a cripple. He’s tell me about upcoming medical appointments, when I asked how they went and what the doctor said, his response was that he didn’t go because his parents were too stoned and slept through the appointment time. His sister’s have reached out to me saying how miserable he is now that we aren’t together anymore and that whenever anyone mentions my name his face lights up. He stalks my social media. Liking my posts but hasn’t messaged me. I have chosen not to reach out to him directly but have made plans to go to his town and have made posts about my plans in the hopes that if he is missing me and still cares that he makes the effort to”accidentally” bump into me. Good thing is that he lives in a town that I have a lot of friends in, so I will be meeting up with a few of them,I’m also hoping that he will show up at my birthday lunch that he was invited to before our split so that we can reconnect.
I believe that the other women did something to him he’s always sneaking an txing while st my house sex use to be GREAT tells lies after lies saying it’s not another woman sometimes won’t tx or call or come over always cking his phone claim to use the bathroom an don’t claims he’s constantly tired say’s he’s coming over an don’t lies about calling me back we don’t do anything come over after nine.stay for a couple of hours I call her the jewelry bitch telling me 2 women are a headache says he went home an went to sleep he lies so much he believes that we don’t do anything together he would be the one who make the plans sometimes I get drunk just to be with him a woman know
Very exciting article. Now how about this? How about an ex who will not even speak to you? Why? During our 7 years we had a few brief breakups and I always sucked him back in. During our final break up several years ago, after we broke up, he invited me to see his new house and we had a lovely day having lunch going in the river swimming shopping in his town and even fantasizing about this hotel we could stay in at some point in the future. After that total silence. You know what? He was terrified he’d get back together with me again. Why else would he just disappear like that? He knew that if we had any contact he would get sucked back in again. So, I don’t know what he’s thinking now but he definitely needed to just cut it totally
I really loved my Ex. husband, we had 4 children together. Then I wondered why when he was in the Army. he began to change. He was gone a lot saying he had to be out in the field or on guard duty or several reasons he was gone so much. As the years went by he would tell me I was not showing him any love. Later on I found out he was with other women . He even got at least one Pregnant. I Still stayed because I didn’t want our children to be without their father finally after almost 20 years he wanted a divorce. He had found the one he he said he was in love with. we divorced and I met the most wonderful man in this world. we got married and my ex didn’t like the thought of me with someone else. My husband and I were married 12-12-81 for 35 years and we were happy together. he passed away 1-31-2017. I miss him every day. He brought me so much happiness all the years we were together. . I am sorry I can’t continue because I can’t see to type anything else. Thanks for reading this. God Bless
He drops everything to come help me. He brought me soup, pie, and a movie on Thanksgiving when I was sick, and watched the movie with me. He took me to a movie on December 24th and gave me snowshoes for Christmas, but his card says he’s glad we are friends. He hugs and gives me a quick kiss when we are together. He holds my hand. But he says he is dating another woman about every other week. He says their relationship is complicated because her exhusband still lives there, and her son doesn’t graduate for two years. He has said she drives him crazy. She’s 17 years younger than him. We have so much in common, my friends didn’t believe it was real. We each even have a waterfall and pool table! Our sons and daughters are the same age. We are the same age and both love astronomy and photography, the same foods, the same music…he told me two years ago he loved me. This is just so hard!
I’ve experienced the same and I confirm that this article is true. I’m happy that this article cleared some confusions in my mind. Thank you, Matt!