4 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend is Still Thinking About You

It’s safe to say that your ex boyfriend will ALWAYS think about you, at least from time to time. Even if you had the worst possible relationship, he will still remember you. You were part of his life. You may have even been part of the BEST times of his life.

It’s only natural to think back to all the good times and bad times of the past. We dream about the past, we think about it, and yes, sometimes all of us wonder about the things that might have been.

We also tend to “compartmentalize” people and situations that are no longer an active part of our life. In that way, we get on with our lives. We move beyond pain and beyond heartbreak. In some cases, it’s the only way to move forward. We will always “have love” for an ex, even if we know the relationship is doomed.

But…the truth is that statistically speaking, MOST couples that break up still have the hots for each other, so to speak. That means that despite all their claims about “being done” and dating other people, there is still love there. And it’s not “platonic love” – it’s the real thing.

Sometimes all that’s needed to get back together, is good timing and making a dramatic change in your life. This new side of your personality is what grabs your ex’s attention. He wonders how you’ve changed, what prompted it, and what you’re going to do now. You’re already more attractive in his eyes. And now he’s starting to miss you AND envy the new life you’ve created.

The question is, how do you know if he’s still thinking about you – in that obsessive, jealous and emotional way?

After all, it’s very possible that an ex who’s not in love with you anymore will still occasionally call or text you to see how you’re doing. It’s a sign of friendship and goodwill. But it’s nothing like “thinking about you” in that jealous and obsessive sort of way.

That’s the kind of attention you want, the kind of desire that will make him miss you and maybe even want to get back together.

Recognizing platonic love and romantic love from an ex can be confusing so let’s consider four basic situations.

1. He doesn’t just text you rarely…he always texts you! He finds reasons to call you. He’s obviously wants your attention.

The harder a man works for your attention, the more interested he is. Your platonic ex will be fine with a few chats and a rare phone call. But he won’t keep texting or calling you. He won’t find excuses to make plans with you or meet in person. Your platonic ex has moved on. He thinks of you rarely, not constantly.

Frankly, your romantic ex has nothing better to do…because he’s consumed with figuring you out! He wants you back and doesn’t know how to get you back.

2. He is very emotional when he communicates with you.

This can be confusing because sometimes your ex will be extremely negative when dealing with you. He still feels hurt about the breakup and so he speaks to you as if holding his heart on their sleeve. He may be angry, or seem depressed, or even argumentative. The reason why is obvious–he’s jealous. He’s unable to let go and probably angry at himself for losing you.

On the other hand, if your ex is extremely positive he may be trying to make YOU jealous by doing the exact same thing you’re doing to him. He’s playing a game…but the motivation is the same. He wants you back, he’s jealous, and he thinks the best way to get you back is to make you jealous of him.

So basically both kinds of exes are displaying very emotional behavior, because they’re invested in you.

On the other hand, the platonic ex, the one who really doesn’t romantically love you anymore? He doesn’t feel the need to brag, or talk about how great his life is, or evoke any kind of emotion from you. He just wants to know you’re okay so he can go back to his life.

A man that still loves you will not be so easy to please.

3. He shows a lot of hot/cold, push/pull behavior. He’s confusing you on purpose.

A man who’s still thinking about you, and missing you, has a lot to lose. So either he’s playing you, by intentionally being hot and cold, hoping to make you a little crazy and more attracted to him…

Or he’s doing it subconsciously because he LOVES you, and yet is trying to resist you. Whether this behavior is simulated or genuine, it feels almost the same.

He is emotionally venting and trying as hard as he can to get involved in your life, even if it’s just small text conversations.

The real difference with a platonic ex is that he doesn’t have the obsessive need to reach out, then ignore you, then reach out again. He is “available” if you need to talk but he doesn’t make you part of his life. He’s not interested in pushing your buttons or seeing what response he can get from you. He’s simply a friend, not a lover.

A man who still wants you is all over the map. He’s confused. He wants you but doesn’t quite know how to win you back. If he really was “cold” and not into you, he would NOT reach out and be “hot” for you the next week. His persistence in trying is telling.

4. He’s really not happy for you, or happy with his new life. He was only “happy” when he was with you.

Your crushing ex will NEVER be happy for you, because he envies what your new beau has. (Or even the very IDEA of you dating someone else will upset him) He doesn’t seem particularly happy with his girlfriend, always indicating he still might be interested in you.

Most importantly, he is always reminiscing about how happy you used to be together. He talks about the best memories, nostalgically, as if they were the best memories of his life.

Platonic exes are unlikely to dwell on this, at least beyond an occasional, “Yeah I remember that” or “Yeah that was fun.” It’s a fairly dismissive response.

But if the guy is lovesick over you he will always be bringing up great memories, hoping to make you feel something for him again. He wants to recreate those feelings and wants you to remember the best times.

As you can see, understanding your ex’s motivation is all about paying attention to how hard he’s trying to get your attention!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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