4 Signs He Likes You But is Scared to Make a Move

Is there such a thing as a successful, confident and good looking man who is too scared to make the first move? Yes, of course! And once you understand why he’s hesitant to make the first move, you might better understand what he’s thinking and what he wants to happen BEFORE he takes that risk.

That’s one thing about “confidence” that a lot of people don’t understand. We’re not all instantly confident just because we decide to be. And we don’t all express confidence in the same way. Besides that, individually, we might all have different areas of confidence. We might be very confident in one respect or in certain situations. But then very intimidated if we’re in an unusual setting.

Easy case in point: One of my associates, has a bit of a reputation as a player. You might think he’s the type of guy who could smoothly pick up any woman at any time. After all, he’s a successful, confident and good looking man. But when it comes to dancing, he just doesn’t dance. And if you take him out on the dance floor, he’s not in his element. And he doesn’t come across as confident because he just doesn’t like that atmosphere. He prefers to talk in group settings, or even one on one, at a bookstore or the mall, and so on.

So as you can see, we’re all capable of being confident in some situations. Or maybe we’re confident about one aspect of ourselves—like your beauty, or your brains, or your work ethic and so on. But just because you have confidence in some of your abilities doesn’t mean you’re going to be a confident person in EVERYTHING.

This explains why many men are afraid to make the first move in a relationship. If something doesn’t feel right, or if they’re not in their element, or if they’re not getting the right signals from you, suddenly they lose that killer confidence.

The reason why he might be feeling intimidated, well, that could be anything! Maybe he’s having a bad day. Maybe you’re the “opposite” of the type of woman he usually dates. Maybe it’s even something…you know…complicated, like he’s your ex-boyfriend’s best friend! Could be anything.

So let’s just stop thinking in terms of “Why doesn’t this guy like me?” and start thinking more along the lines of, “Does he like me…but is he afraid to make a move?”

Here are four signs that he probably does like you but keeps psyching himself out of making the first move.

1. You catch him staring at you…and more than once.

Men who are afraid of starting sexual tension tend to lose eye contact quickly. This may be because they’re afraid of flirting with women in general, or maybe they’re just intimidated by you, or by the unique circumstances, or whatever. But they will not stare directly in your eyes for very long…unless of course you’re not watching them. That’s when they’re more comfortable, when they can “observe you” and try to talk themselves into making a move. Just imagine him saying, “Maybe I should ask her out…but what if she laughs at me? Maybe should just stay friends.”

The point is, if the guy is staring at you or even glancing at you several times, there’s a good reason. He’s thinking about you but is not quite ready to share the thought he’s having. If he does this a few times or just glares at you until you catch him and he smiles awkwardly, he’s definitely into you!

2. He starts playing his own wingman.

Oddly enough, guys who have no “wingman” will become their own wingman! They will “talk themselves up”, which is sort of like bragging only not so obvious or condescending.

For example, he will talk about his hobbies or job or something that makes him look good to you. He is selling himself in a subtle way and hoping that his good qualities impress you. It’s safe to say that a man who is not interested in you, does not do this. He may occasionally brag, because yeah bragging is good for the ego. But he will not try to impress you for minutes on end.

3. He is unusually kind to you, going beyond what ordinary friends do.

It’s true that sometimes we find very special and surprising friendships in life. You know, Spongebob and Patrick or even Captain Picard and Magneto. But you know what? Most friendships DON’T go above and beyond. Most friends, even really close ones, keep a respectful distance from each other. It’s what we owe our friend…we don’t get involved in his/her life or sacrifice everything we have for that friend’s comfort.

Big difference when a guy likes you. He instantly becomes your go-to guy. He sacrifices for you. He tries to get involved in your life by providing whatever you need, whether that’s someone to talk to, or even time / resources that you need to get by. He’s probably doing you a lot of favors lately and isn’t keeping track. He’s not resentful…he considers it a privilege to “provide” for you. Sound familiar?

4. He smiles a lot but he still seems nervous and fidgety.

Discomfort is supposed to make a man run the other way, right? Not if he’s really enjoying himself! So if he’s always hanging around you wearing a big smile on his face or if he’s trying to start small talk with you and he always seems a little nervous then that’s a very good sign! Just being in your presence is making him feel good and he’s trying very slowly to get around to making a move. He’s just worried that if he comes on too strong, you’ll reject him and it’ll all be over.

Don’t worry, there are “stronger” signals you can send him to let him know that you like him too and that it’s okay for him to flirt with you. Sometimes what a guy needs is more positive reinforcement—that you like what he’s doing and want to see him try even harder to chase you.
I can assure you of this…once he senses that there’s sexual tension between the both of you, and that you’re excited about it, he will start to warm up. Your confidence in HIM is what will make him feel less afraid and be willing to take that chance.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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