4 Habits Happy Couples Have But Never Talk About

I think we all have that one special friend in our lives, the one who’s been married for 20, 30, or even 50 years. We always wonder how did they do it? What special wisdom did he / she have that made a marriage last a lifetime? Why can’t I have that? Why are my relationships always lacking? What can I do to end up just like George and Alice over there? (Or whatever name fits your circle of friends)

Is there a secret? No, I don’t believe there is. I might even venture to say that maturity is the secret…and that sometimes youth blinds us all to mistakes that we can’t possibly anticipate until we learn the hard way.

That might sound a little vague…after all, what is maturity? Why can we not make logical sense of things right now? Why do we have to suffer throughout our 20s and 30s? (And some of us even into our 40s and 50s!)

It might be an easier lesson to digest if we break down the abstract term of “maturity” and divide it into four individual habits that characterize happiness. As we analyze them, you may find that they not only make good common sense, but they are also self-preserving habits. They look out for you and for your partner

They are not really emotional in nature but logical as well as spiritual. What I mean by that is that there’s a sense of SELF-improvement in all of these items.

When we’re young we’re so eager to find love, to find sex, to find ego fulfillment that we neglect our own SELF-improvement. That, ironically, is what gets us into trouble. The fact that we jump into these relationships without realizing the dangers, without realizing the essence of ourselves. Let’s review four habits that happy couples have and how we can all learn from them. Finally, we’ll discuss why it is that they never actually talk about these happy habits and how it’s some kind of happy little secret!

1. They take care of themselves.

Older couples may not even think of “self-care” as a thing…but experience gives you the instinct to take care of yourself and to be a little more cautious about letting other people take control of your life. Happy couples don’t need the relationship to stay happy…the relationship is a reflection of their collective joy as individuals. They’ve learned to accept disappointments of the past and have found inner peace. Now that they’ve found happiness on their own, because of practicing self-care, they are able to be a better husband and a better wife.

2. They’re beyond the stage of dysfunction and searching. Their bond is unique and incomparable to anything else in their life.

When singles leap into relationships emotionally, and not with their full mind, they tend to compare relationships. Some girls are looking for their surrogate fathers. Some girls try to act like their mother. Sometimes they look for a guy who reminds them of their first boyfriend or their last boyfriend, or even a celebrity on TV. But one thing all these relationships have in common? They’re being unfairly compared to someone else.

Real love comes from appreciating a unique relationship for what it is. It’s not comparable to anything else. You’ve made all your mistakes by now and what you truly desire is mutual respect. Honesty. Common goals and values.

You have a good conversation together because you appreciate each other for who you are. You focus on sharing, laughing, and enjoying your mutual interests. Nothing left to prove…it’s finally time to start being happy!

3. Sex is about intimacy, not release.

Sex in your twenties tends to be all about the release, the challenge, and conquest, the experimentation. But rarely is it about intimacy. Young love tends to have a shield up, protecting the heart. Nobody wants to be tied down, taken advantage of, or forced into a commitment they’re not ready for. Such attitudes only make emotional intimacy more difficult.

Since happy couples tend to be past the stage of sexual experimentation, they enjoy the emotional intimacy even more than the physical pleasures of sex. Sex is better BECAUSE of the emotional honesty, the nakedness of feelings, the revealing of one’s self, heart, body, mind, and soul. It’s both erotic and yet safe, emotionally rewarding. It’s not release, but rejuvenation. The kind of sexual experience that never really ends, because you never say goodbye…just goodnight!

4. They’ve given up on trying to “change” each other.

We do waste a lot of time hoping our youthful partners will change for us and it rarely ever happens. People usually don’t change—not unless it’s a change that they already want to make. But nobody really changes just because their partner expects them to, pressures them to, or hopes they will.

Happy couples don’t care about perfecting their partner or upgrading them to be a trophy spouse. They accept each other as they are and exactly what they are in the here and now. They don’t try to change each other’s opinions or way of thinking because they’re wise enough to know it doesn’t work. Even if it did, why would you want to change the person you’re already in love with?

They don’t play mind games and they approach the relationship very honestly. Young ones very often fall in love with a fantasy or very high ideal. Happy couples with experience behind them enjoy the moments together.

The quiet, the simple, the beautiful and the meaningful. They support each other as is. They flirt with each other and tease each other because they leave all insecurity at the door, so to speak. They share all thoughts, listen intently and communicate regularly.

The reason happy couples have this “secret”, that of which they never actually talk about openly, is because a lot of these feelings seem mutually understood. They may even think of the habits as common sense—and yes it is common sense, to a person who has had a life of some experience and trial by error.

But to someone newly dating, some of these life lessons may be beyond their understanding, their developing perspective on life.

The good news is that regardless of your age, you can apply in your own dating life what you learned here today. Spend a little more time improving your sense of self. Find inner peace and let go of old baggage. Open your heart, not to just anyone who asks, but to someone who is honest and respectful. Develop a natural rapport based on mutual respect and admiration for the man’s character.

You don’t have to make another ten years worth of mistakes in dating. There’s no need to talk about it…but it’s imperative that you start practicing it. Because a long-lasting relationship is merely a beautiful reflection of two people that have decided to be happy.

The Secret Words That Make His Heart Yours

Today I want to give you some words that you can tell your man that will make him want to give you the relationship you’ve always dreamed he’d have with you…

These words form something I call a “Love Frame” that make a man feel like it’s his mission in life to treat you like a queen.

If you’re struggling to get your man to “step up” and give you the romance you’ve always wanted, you need to watch this video right now…

Click here to watch the video <<

These words will work on him even if…

…your man is pulling away from you or ignoring you completely…

…you think you got intimate with him too soon…

…or you feel like your situation is hopeless…

Because once you understand it…

You’ll be able to trigger a flood of emotion throughout his body that melts away all resistance…

Making him see you as the perfect woman for him…

A woman that he wants to pursue, fight for, and be with from now until the end of time…

Click here to learn the words that make him yours <<

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. Try out these seemingly innocent yet strangely powerful words on the man in your life and seem how quickly things change with him…

Making him feel more love for you, more of a connection to you, and more of a desire to please you than he’s ever felt for anyone before in his life.

Click here to discover the words now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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