You don’t know how to sext? Relax. Nobody is born a great dirty talker. It’s a skill you pick up as you go, and it’s a lot more fun to practice than algebra.
Here’s the one rule that matters most: don’t overthink it. The harder you try to sound like a novel, the more forced it reads. Your guy wants your real desire, not word porn. If he wanted a script, he’d go find one online. Keep it personal, keep it about the two of you, and let his imagination do half the work.
What do you text a guy to turn him on? Something that makes him feel wanted and leaves a little to his imagination. Start soft, build the heat, and only go as explicit as feels like you. Below are 30 sex text messages grouped into four tiers, from a light warm-up to full XXX, so you can start wherever you’re comfortable.
How to Sext Him (Quick Tips First)
A few things make the difference between a text that lands and one that dies on read:
- Make sure you’re both free. Don’t fire off a filthy text while he’s stuck in a meeting.
- Go slow. Don’t open with hardcore. Build anticipation and let it climb.
- Play a character if you feel shy. You’re not you, you’re the confident, dirty version of you.
- Never type anything that makes you uncomfortable. Stick to what actually turns you on.
- Use the senses. What he’d see, hear, feel, and taste hits harder than clinical words.
- Trade details. One-word answers kill the scene. Describe what you’re wearing, what you want, what you’d do.
- Save the four-letter words for the peak. When you’ve been sweet and then drop one, it lands like a slap.
Warm-Up Sexts (Ease Him In)
Start here. These set the tone without going all in.
- You looked way too good in those jeans yesterday. They’ve been in my head all day. Along with the idea of peeling them off you.
- Quick question, doctor. Do you make house calls? Because I’ve got a situation and it’s not exactly medical.
- What would you want me wearing if you walked in right now and we were both in the mood?
- I keep thinking about the last time. Specifically the part I’m not going to type out at work.
- Careful. I’m in a very bad mood today, and by bad I mean the fun kind.
Building Heat
He’s texting back with energy. Turn it up.
- I want to kiss you tonight. Not your face. Lower. Keep going. Lower.
- I’m lying here thinking about you doing things to me. Want me to tell you which things?
- Guess the color of what I’m wearing under this dress and I’ll make it worth your while on your lunch break.
- I found a new position I want to try with you. Should I describe it, or just show you?
- Come over. I’ve been patient all day and I’m completely out of patience now.
Hot and Heavy
For a partner you’re comfortable getting loud with. One of these is plenty.
- I want you to get rough with me tonight. I want you to f*ck me hard and talk dirty the whole time.
- The second you walk through that door I’m on my knees. I want to take my time and drain every last drop out of you.
- I want to hear you. I want you panting, moaning my name, and rocking the bed until it’s ridiculous.
- I’m going to kiss and bite every inch of you tonight. Neck, chest, stomach, and everywhere below that too.
- I keep imagining you bending me over somewhere we could almost get caught. Fast, and not quiet.
XXX Sexts (Send These Last)
Full explicit, for a partner you trust. Build up to these, don’t lead with them.
- What’s the one fantasy you’ve never told anyone? Tell me, or I’ll guess, and I bet I get close.
- I want to tie you up and play with you for as long as I feel like it. Then I’m going to climb on top and ride you until you can’t take any more.
- I’m going to suck you all night. Slow. Take my time. Then get you hard again and do it all over.
- Picture me sliding onto you, all the way down, feeling exactly how much you want me. My mouth on yours the whole time.
- Eat me until I’m shaking, and don’t you dare stop early. I’ll return the favor twice over. (I cannot believe I just typed that. You’re a terrible influence.)
The Sexting Mistakes That Kill the Mood
Two things ruin a good sext faster than anything. The first is going graphic too fast. Cold-open filth reads as try-hard. Warm him up, make him wait, then hit him with it.
The second is dropping the four-letter words on every line. If everything is XXX, nothing is. Stay flirty and sensual most of the time so that when you do get filthy, it actually shocks him in the best way. Used right, one line can stay in his head for months.
Quick Answers About Sexting Him
How do I start sexting without it being awkward? Open with a warm-up line, not a graphic one. Something like “those jeans have been in my head all day” tests the water and lets him meet you there.
What can I text him for a blowjob tease? Hint and make him wait. “Guess what color I’m wearing and I’ll make your lunch break very worth it” beats anything blunt, because now he’s thinking about it all afternoon.
Are dirty texts too much early on? Early on, keep it flirty and suggestive. Save the hot-and-heavy and XXX tiers for a partner you trust. Warmth first, filth later.
What if he doesn’t reply the way I hoped? Ease off and don’t chase it. Usually it’s bad timing, not a bad idea. Try again when he’s free to actually enjoy it.
Do sexy texts really keep a man interested? They keep the spark alive between the times you see each other, and men remember the woman who surprised them. Used with warmth and good timing, sexting makes you the person he can’t stop thinking about.
Related Reading
The Secret Words That Drive Men Wild
Sexy texts light the spark. Knowing exactly what he wants to hear keeps it burning. I put together a short video on how to talk to a man in a way that makes him crave you, and only you.
