The very essence of man is to hunt. He’s incapable of being faithful because he is biologically programmed to procreate and attract more women…yada yada yada something about preserving his genes.
Yeah we’ve all heard this about men and thankfully we are outgrowing such antiquated notions. While there are always rules to the exception, the truth is most men WANT to be faithful, fall in love and find their soul mate. Not when they’re very young, not when they’re inexperienced and cock-eyed with curiosity. (Or shall we say cock-brained!)
But YES, at some point men all grow up. Few men want to be swinging on the dance floor when they reach their 40s and 50s…sometimes as early as their 30s.
So what we all notice with men is NOT that they hate monogamy and resist the idea of marriage because they have insatiable sex drives. No, it’s simply that they don’t want to get married to the wrong woman.
Just like a woman resists dating a man who she knows is a bad match, so too does a man resist committing to a woman he has serious doubts about.
He hates the idea of a bad marriage more so than he hates the idea of a good marriage. A good marriage is like paradise, or winning the lottery or being captain of the Starship Enterprise. It sounds great!
But is it possible? That’s what he has fears about and that’s what you have to contend with as you broach the subject of commitment, engagement and eventually marriage.
Keeping in mind these four fundamentals of what a man wants and does NOT want will help you keep a sound mind and further develop your strategy.
1. A man wants to be respected by his peers. He does not want to be a laughing stock.
A man’s pride is very important to him…heck, men have killed each other over dueling egos before! (Just ask your guy sometime what “get out your shine box means” and see if he gets the reference)
Unfortunately, one reason why men don’t like the idea of getting married is that they hate losing the prestige of being strong, single and uncontrollable. He likes being macho, he likes being tough. The idea of a woman “taming him” and making him her little “project” is hurting his ego. That’s why it’s best to flatter his machismo and let him feel empowered, masculine and always “in control” when you’re with him. Don’t let him become the “Dad” he fears becoming. Let him feel like a lion by helping him to be carefree, independent and yes, FUN.
2. A man wants lots of sex, but not necessarily by lots of women. A man fears becoming an old, married, has been!
Men are terrified of losing their sex life, which is why many prefer being single and having that “guarantee” of free sex whenever they need it. The idea of being stuck in a sexless marriage is what they fear. So it’s not always enough to show that you’re sexual NOW…because most couples are all over each other in the beginning. It’s important to show him that you’re committed to his happiness and that YOU are the one who will be sexual and full of life so he better keep up! He needs to feel that you understand this motivation and will have no problems in that area.
3. A man wants a happily ever after ending. He’s deathly afraid of losing everything in a messy divorce.
Now I’m not blaming Kanye West’s song “Gold Digger” for making the male population paranoid about trusting women, but let’s just say that song well embodies the fear of the average man of marrying the wrong woman—and paying for it for the next 20 years of his life. Men do want a happy ending to their love life but they fear things not working out and then losing half of everything they own, not to mention alimony, child support—and yes, dare we say even the emotional attachment they form with their partner.
To trust someone entirely is to be vulnerable. So the best way to assuage these fears is to let him SEE you as a strong, independent woman who has no interest in being a dependent of his. You don’t need his money because you have your own life, and probably make more than he does anyway. This gives him the confidence that when he marries you, it’s not going to be about winning or losing. It’s going to be a 50/50 relationship.
4. He wants to be free. He fears being trapped in a life he can’t escape. Let him feel free, always and forever.
Men are biologically inclined to be FREE, not to be skirt-chasing dogs with no restraint. They love the feeling of being free, in control and even powerful. And frankly, those are the qualities that ATTRACT women in the first place. Why on earth would his partner want to tame those urges? Because she’s afraid he’ll cheat on her? What kind of respect, what kind of trust is that?
Give your man the independence he craves. When he wants his space, give it to him. When he wants time away from you, don’t cling to him. When he wants a break from the relationship, give him a break. But remember that when HE gets independent, so should you. A strong and independent woman doesn’t wait on a man. She moves on and she means it. And if he wants her back, he has to really work for it, because a real woman never allows a man to take her for granted.
If you think about it, reacting to a man’s thirst for independence is like mirroring him. You’re simply giving him the energy he is projecting and letting him feel in control. You will find that if you let him be free, and back away when you can tell he feels closed in, you may find that he INSTANTLY reacts in a positive way.
Remember that the next time your man confuses you with his odd behavior. He is interested in getting married. But he wants to remain free, safe, sexy and on top of the world.
Why Good Men Leave Great Women
Here’s a sad truth that EVERY woman needs to know…
Even if you’re the seemingly PERFECT woman for a man, he still might leave you…
Here’s why…
Most women try to make a man THINK she’s the right woman for him. But here’s the problem…
Men don’t fall in love with a woman, marry her, move mountains for her, and treat her like a queen because he thinks he should…
A man will only do these because of how he FEELS…
If you want a man to feel like you’re THE most important person in his life…
A woman who he obsessively thinks about and who he WANTS to be romantic to, spoil, and treat like a queen, you need to go watch this video right now…
Click here to watch the video <<
Believe it or not, there’s a secret sequence of phrases that can make thinking about you, being a gentleman for you, and falling deeply in love with you and only you completely IRRESISTIBLE to a man…
It will send shivers down his spine and make him feel like he’s the luckiest man in the world to have you all to himself.
Click here to discover the secret phrases <<
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. These phrases are called “The Love Frames” and they change the way a man sees you so that he can finally see and fall in love with the REAL you…
No more trying to convince him you’re the right woman for him…
No more giving everything to a relationship only to be taken for granted…
Instead, use these words to connect to his heart and make him see you as the amazing, beautiful goddess you are…
Click here to discover The Love Frames now <<