What Topics Should I Talk About With Men?

Have you ever felt intimidated by an intelligent man—so much so that you can barely think of anything interesting to say?

Now you’re feeling anxious about the situation and so you clam up. Maybe you figure, if you just stay positive and encourage him to talk, everything will be good…

Until he waits for you to say something!

Talk about intimidating. What do you say to a man you like when he is an “expert” on so many subjects and you can’t seem to keep up with him?

Don’t panic. Believe it or not, men DO NOT fall in love with a woman just because she has a certain level of intelligence or because she’s an “expert” like he is.

They actually fall in love because she’s an expert in conversation and because she’s an expert in HIM.

Let’s discuss five ways to improve your conversation with a man, even if he is highly intelligent and likes to speak on a subject that you are not familiar with.

1. Don’t be intimidated!

Lesson one, don’t lose your confidence just because you found someone as smart as you (or even smarter). It’s a wonderful thing that you’ve found a man you’re attracted to and one who might feel the same way about you. Stop viewing a positive as a negative! Don’t be intimidated by him. Don’t think you have to work extra hard to impress him. Don’t challenge him or try to put on a front of coldness or competition. Just be cool and be happy that you’ve found someone worth your attention.

2. Let him know that you find him interesting and that you enjoy hearing him talk about his favorite subject.

There’s no need to compete with a man or feel inadequate in his presence when the most basic reaction is still the best. That is, to encourage him to talk and impress you.

One of the reasons men focus so much attention on being excellent at something is to impress women. The fact remains, if you are NOT impressed and attracted to their intellect, or give the appearance of such, they will become intimidated by you—or perhaps even resentful.

That’s why it’s important to SHOW a man appreciated for who he is and what his admirable qualities are. Rather than “try too hard” by gushing or over-complimenting him, focus on engaging him in conversation. That means rather than stopping the conversation, your aim is to keep him talking and get him to go into even more detail—especially the details you find interesting.

You can do this by asking open-ended questions, commenting on a particular point of the conversation, or simply staying how and why you find this conversation interesting. Don’t bluff…be honest and focus on the points of conversation that do appeal to you.

3. Move on to less intellectual fare…how about guy stuff?

At some point, you’re both going to want to take a break from all of his deep conversations. Don’t be afraid of this transition. Men usually do find “regular conversation” even more exciting than showing off their intellect. Instead, start talking about easier subjects, the kind that men everywhere instantly relate to.

Men usually like talking about their “babies”—their car, their sports team, their career, movies, books, and music. If they are in a creative field or have a creative hobby, that’s a golden opportunity to bond with him over something EMOTIONAL and passionate.

Once again, let him talk and continue the conversation by drawing him out and getting him excited. Rather than impress you intellectually, now he can impress you emotionally by telling a story close to his heart.

4. Reveal Information about yourself SLOWLY, letting the mystery grow.

At some point, a man is sure to notice that he and his opinions are frequently the topics of conversation. When he starts asking questions about you that’s significant progress—it means he’s actually listening and interested now. (Which is why you don’t volunteer information before he cares!)

When it’s time to talk about yourself focus on things you have in common: experiences, items you own, people you know, or shared outlooks on life. This makes the conversation feel more natural, more passionate and exciting, rather than the “awkward tension” that permeates so many bad dates.

Opposites may attract sexually but what really makes an emotional connection is shared interests, goals, and values. Remember that you don’t have to go for “heavy” in early conversation. Instead of jumping into religious or political opinions (always a dangerous subject in early dates), you can easily discuss shared interests in movies, music, books, places you’ve visited, favorite meals and whatever else might be on your mind…

5. Like sex! Talk about sex when he’s ready and when it seems natural.

Most men who aren’t complete idiots are a little cautious about bringing up sex when they meet an attractive woman for the first time. Even if a man is trying to be dashing and romantic, he focuses on FEELINGS, not the act of sex. Talking about sex directly is a risqué thing to do…especially if the attraction is one-sided, then it becomes “creepy” territory!

But at some point, it’s natural to discuss sex—especially as the relationship progresses and the attraction becomes more intense. So when the topic comes up naturally, don’t shy away from it. Rather, ask him about his views on sex, including his perceptions about other women in general. Mostly, men are just dying to talk about sex and other women—and very often will volunteer information about their past experiences, or even their kinkiest fantasies.

Remember though that sex isn’t just a “necessary evil” and it’s not just about pleasure. It’s an important part of learning who he is and how he communicates. Sex is closely related to bonding, understanding each other and creating a mood that will keep him comfortable and slowly get him addicted to all of you—your mind, body, and soul.

It’s not difficult to talk to a man, even if he’s smart, tough or withdrawn. In the end, men always want to chase and impress women. Give him a chance to shine…and he will be amazed at how great a connection he has with you!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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