How to Make Your Ex Miss You (5 Things You MUST Do)

Let’s be honest, when an ex is going through the “hate stage”, where he blames you for ruining his life, it’s impossible to reason with him. The more you try to persuade him, guilt him or beg him for another chance, the more he seems to resent you. You become the “villain” he must resist. Even if his emotions tell him that he still loves you, his logical mind turns against you.

This is why most of your instincts after a breakup are dead wrong! Your instincts will want you to keep talking to him and will feed you all sorts of creative ideas on how to manipulate him into taking action. Namely…getting back together!

But they’re all wrong. All your instincts are wrong, and frankly, a lot of the advice you hear online is wrong. There is a fairly simple process that is proven to be the most effective way to win your ex back. And the first step is actually the most important…getting him to miss you! Let’s consider how to make him miss you in a few simple steps.

1. Stop initiating contact.

The first step in making him miss you is to stop initiating contact with him. This may feel wrong to you and is the hardest thing to do. You want to keep him talking, right? Wrong! The ONLY way he can miss you is if he loses the gift of talking to you. Or chatting with you or emailing you. This is why you have to cut off ALL contact with him. Consider this stage like detoxifying, sort of like they do in rehab.

Right now, he doesn’t want to see you or hear from you. He has developed a negative association with you because of too many bad arguments. Before you can safely and positively approach him again, you need to quit this “addiction” to doing the same thing you’ve been doing. This negative dynamic in the relationship is only pushing him away.

2. Don’t just lay low—leave!

Now I’m not actually suggesting that you leave town forever, but what you might try is taking a much needed vacation. Give yourself some me-time. Go stay with a friend or at least take a week or a weekend away from everyone you know. It’s time to tell your heart the same thing you’ve already told your mind. That things are different now. Life is changing. Embrace this change.

You can come back and in many cases you may not be able to relocate because of your family or a good job. Still, take a symbolic vacation and accept the fact that everything must change.

3. NO stalking!

Another very hard step—you must stop stalking him, catching up, spying, or checking in—whatever you call it. You can’t quit the “addiction” stage unless you stop feeding your mind information. Stop overanalyzing his posts, liking his photos, or doing anything that invites his presence into your life. Not only must you stop publicly interacting with him, but it’s also very important that you stop looking. Kill that curiosity and allow him the freedom to be alone and the gift of missing you. That’s the only way he’s ever going to feel what you want him to feel.

4. Stop asking for pity from friends and family.

I know it’s the “in” thing to do, to complain to your Facebook network or talk about your breakup on Instagram. But it’s a bad idea. Not only because it makes you look weak to your family and friends, but it also sends the wrong message to your ex if he’s still stalking you. Namely, that you need him more than he needs you. You’re giving him power over you. You’re letting him dominate you, even though he already ended the relationship. It’s time to take a dignified silence. In the end, he WILL respect you more if you take the high road.

5. While taking a speaking sabbatical, focus on self-improvement.

What’s the best way to get over an ex? Distract yourself with worthwhile goals! The best thing to do is to focus on your own self-improvement. This is a real distraction, doing something that’s actually worthwhile and not just mindless repetition to endure the pain. Being active, making new friends, and getting involved in important causes makes you a better person. It gives you peace, it helps you properly heal. Best of all, it gets his attention.

Oh yeah…men are suckers for ex-girlfriends who make positive changes in their life. That is the BEST way to get his attention. To make him wonder what in the world is going on with you.

Right now he’s thinking, he’s predicting, you’re going to stay the same way for the rest of your life. He’s rationalizing that he left you for a good reason. Prove him wrong! Surprise him by doing amazing things, taking chances and showing him (not telling him) that you are a different person.

Remember this “new you” can be anything. Sure, you can date someone else if you want…or you can change your appearance slightly.

But that’s not necessarily a real change. The best change for your ex to see is a new hobby, new job, or volunteer project, a new passion, or a new healthy lifestyle. Let him see that you’re enjoying new experiences and new opportunities in life that you’re taking now that you’re living apart from him.

Have you ever heard that expression, “Living well is the best revenge?” It’s not only true for YOU but also hits HIM where it hurts. He starts to miss you and is curious about how much you’ve changed.

Now he’s envious of what you have. Happiness, a positive outlook and a life that’s no longer influenced by him. He’s going to want to win you back.

But first he’ll need to ask himself the question, “Do I want my old life with her back?” or “Do I want to create a new life with her?”

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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