When a man is handsome, successful, and confident he usually has his pick of the prettiest women.
I mean it’s not always true, but it’s oftentimes true. Men who have a lot of things “going for them” are harder to impress. Sex isn’t as big a deal to them. It really takes something more to get his attention – and more importantly keep his attention for the long-term.
Enter the modern woman – the smarter and more determined woman who knows what she wants.
She knows the secret to winning his heart is not about looks, sex, or even confidence. It’s something else.
Do you know what that secret is?
Some authors, like James Bauer, believe it’s all about the way she interacts with him. Her intelligence, her conversation, her seductiveness, and her communication skills.
He says that if you really want a man to obsess over you that you have to pay close attention to the way you talk to him and how he talks to you. The phrases that you use, and that you can influence him to use, can change the way that he feels about you.
Does this really work? And what are these magical phrases? Will they work for you?
What is The Secret Obsession All About?
The Secret Obsession explores a more complicated theme and is NOT just a collection of random texts and phrases. The concept is activating the guy’s “Hero Instinct” and making him feel the chemistry between you two.
Right away, I agree with him in technique and philosophy. I’ve coached men and women before. And with men, I can say definitely that my male readers all wanted to feel like they were providing, like they were special, and were playing the “hero.”
So James’ instincts are spot on. The narrative is how to get a man to feel about you in this way – even though, you know, you don’t need to be saved. And you’re not looking for a man to control you, or micromanage you, and etc.
So the program is about how to get men TO FEEL this way, without actually doing anything deceptive and pretending to be a damsel in distress. Because let’s face it, that’s not who you are, and that’s not what he actually wants.
Believe me, once a man grows up and gets some experience in relationships, he really doesn’t want to be “saving anyone.”
What Does the Program Talk About?
“The Secret Obsession: Phrases That Really Work” program touches on what I would call a complete cycle of a traditional relationship. So the program covers the Attraction Stage, which includes ideas and strategies on how to get a guy to notice you – and not just because you want attention, but because you know how to activate him emotionally.
Remember that men have two friend-zones, essentially. A platonic friend-zone and a “sex only” kind of FWB zone. So this book goes into detail on how to make him see you as serious relationship potential and not just a friend or a fling.
The book also covers why sometimes guys lose interest and forget their attraction to a woman. The book covers that, and even the scenario of when a guy is in complete denial about his feelings for you.
The next section of the program is the Falling Apart Stage, where the dates have been increasing, and you’re seemingly getting along just fine…
But then everything just falls apart. He seems to be backing away after a period of intimacy, trust, and bonding. What happened? Why is commitment scaring him all of a sudden? Is it his issue or yours?
Every scenario is explained and dealt with, from misunderstandings to commitment phobia, and even the event where he is dating other people. What I like about this program is that it DOES give you the worst case scenario, like if he’s ignoring your messages, and seems completely turned off to the idea.
The book guides you through a process of re-activating his heri instinct and finding that bond once again, so that he begins to crave you emotionally.
Finally, there’s the Re-Spark Stage, where you learn how to trigger him so that his “secret obsession” returns. The book teaches you techniques on how to control his “drive to be needed by women”, so that it’s just constantly flowing – or going down hill so to speak, not always uphill.
The illustration that the author provides, one of a large dam and the water that holds everything back, is very fitting for describing how men respond emotionally. From there, the course talks about why men cheat or have affairs, and why the “mistress” does fulfill a need.
It’s fascinating the way the author uses illustrations and real world examples so that you can figure how to reignite that spark at any time.
The final stage, the Get Your Ex Back stage, brings it all home and explains how to get a guy back even in the absolute nightmare scenario, Like if he broke up with you, or if he dumped you after sex, or if he changes.
The essence of the guide is that change is constant in life and that a relationship always has to be adaptable to change in order to survive. Taking what the author calls a bi-directional change can mean everything when it comes to winning a man back.
Final Thoughts
The book is a great read. I’ve had the chance to meet James Bauer and I can say he’s the real deal. He understands both male and female psychology and because of that has special insight into romance, dating, marriage, and why men fall in love in the first place.
We all use the word obsession, and we think we know what obsession feels like. But I gather that sometimes we forget the real meaning of the word. Obsession means caring for someone with a devotion that’s beyond normal. The relationship preoccupies or even intrudes upon a person’s mind.
When someone is obsessed, like a man in love with you(!), it’s almost impossible for him to resist your will. He wants commitment because that means he wants more intimacy, more time with you, and wants your lives to combine and become one.
If you have ever struggled to keep a man’s attention you must read this book!
Rating: I give this program five stars.