8 Things a Guy Will Never Do If He Really Likes You

There was once a song that went “I used to love to make you cry…it made me feel like a man inside.”

It’s a somewhat juvenile attitude that thankfully many men have outgrown in the last few decades. That’s at least one great thing to come from this age of Political Correctness and ultra-sensitivity: no, it’s not cool to beat up on women, to insult women, make sexist comments or sexually harass women just because they can. So that’s the good news!


The truth is in relationships and even in dating, we have a long way to go before we can all say we’re playing nice. Because, yes, there are still some men out there who use emotionally and verbally abusive behaviors.

They may try some of these tactics for more control in the relationship, or to punish their partner, or even to make their partner feel dependent and helpless.

It’s really simple: a man who loves you would NEVER, EVER do any of the eight following things. Why? Because these are some rat-bastard, lowdown and disgusting things to do to any human being—and especially someone that claims to love you!

1. Flirt with other girls in front of you.

This is very aggressive behavior, suggesting that the man is either completely indiscriminating when it comes to picking up women (meaning he’s as interested in you as he is 20 other people standing beside you) OR that he’s just playing games. Either way, this shows a total lack of respect.

2. Make nonnegotiable demands in the relationship, even if they hurt you.

If a man makes demands in the relationship and puts his selfish craving above your comfort level or your moral boundaries, he obviously doesn’t love you or even like you all that much. Some girls may find this behavior exciting or daring, but in the long-term, it signifies a real problem—violating your rights to feel safe and comfortable.

3. Lie or gaslight you into cooperation.

Although you rarely see this behavior in the early dating stage, as the relationship progresses an emotionally abusive man will start to lie frequently or use “gaslighting” techniques to force you into submission. Gaslighting means that he will fabricate evidence or lie, trying to convince you that he’s right and is always right and that nothing is ever his fault. He may even try to drive you crazy with nonsensical and self-contradicting arguments in hopes of bullying you into more submissive behavior.

4. Stand you up or forget/take forever to return your message.

Although this is not really abusive behavior, put this under the column of negligence. A man that really likes you or is falling for you will prioritize you. He will be reasonably quick about returning messages and phone calls. He will not keep you waiting for hours, or days or even weeks just to say he forgot. Even in his tone of voice (or if you will, his tone of text) using polite words, avoiding names and avoiding emotion, in general, is a bad sign. A man that likes you, or loves you, will not take your attention for granted. If he stands you up on a date or a phone call or is always late, then this shows just how little he cares about your feelings.

5. Batter your self-esteem.

If he makes you feel bad about yourself, doubt yourself, feel self-conscious or makes fun of you, this indicates not only aggressive behavior but total incompatibility. He’s either not happy with the person you are, or he’s just ramming your self-confidence to make you more dependent on him. Run far away as soon as he starts aggressively teasing you.

Passive aggressive behavior is in the same vein as verbal abuse, since he uses aggressive tactics to punish you. He may be trying to bully you, or may even want to scare you into complete compliance. The more the punishment, the less you’ll argue with him. All of this serves one purpose: to batter your self-esteem and rob you of your independence.

6. Ignore you in front of VIPs.

A man that really likes or loves you will be proud to be seen with you. He will have no problem introducing you to his parents, friends, and colleagues. This just shows how well you fit into his lifestyle, he’s ready to let you into his inner circle. If a man hides you from all the important people in his life, he obviously doesn’t respect you or thinks you’re a bad “fit”. Not only is it telling about how he really feels, but it’s also a bit rude, don’t you think?

7. Disappear with no logical or believable explanation.

Men who don’t respect you or don’t like you will not just disappear without telling you why. They will give a full explanation. They will apologize when they have to miss. They will make follow up plans quickly. A man that doesn’t like you, probably won’t give much thought to disappearing for days or weeks on end, not bothering to tell you why or when.

Now this might be annoying behavior when dating a guy, but it’s downright heartbreaking as the relationship goes on and he starts violating your trust. He may also leave you for hours or days at a time and hang out with other people, without much of an explanation—except that he prefers their company to yours. If he still claims to like you after dumping you for a better date, he’s obviously unaware or unconcerned about your feelings.

8. Flatter you but never really listen.

Talk is cheap and it’s easy for a guy to be charming, nice or even “love bomb” you too soon in the beginning. But sometimes guys who seem overly nice are actually being manipulative and putting on high pressure to control the relationship. They also tend to talk, promise, charm and perform…without ever actually listening to you or remembering anything you say.

A man who doesn’t listen obviously has no interest in giving you anything but is only interested in taking something. A man who likes you will be interested in what you have to say because he actually values this friendship, this relationship.

As you can see, you can tell if a guy likes you / loves you based on how you FEEL when you’re with him. If you’re always in a state of anxiety or depression, then resist the urge to stay with him. Negative feelings are only amplified as the relationship goes on. But when he really likes you, like becomes love and love grows stronger!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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