7 Signs Your Ex Hasn’t Gotten Over You Yet But Is Hiding It

The idea that someone can love you…and then suddenly STOP loving you is scary, isn’t it? The worst thing about having an “ex” is realizing that the love between you was real. It was actual and it was a significant part of your life. How do you begin to process it when your ex leaves you?

An even more challenging question is, “How do you comprehend it when your ex has left you but is still not over you? What if he’s still waiting…still hoping you’ll get back together? It’s a very stressful situation for sure. On one hand, you want to reach out to him. But on the other hand, you don’t want to be intrusive or seem desperate for his attention. Maybe he wants to move on and live his own life…

Or maybe, just maybe, he’s still not over you. Maybe he’s even thinking of calling you and giving the whole thing another shot. This is a situation in which you have to tread carefully. You don’t want to upset him, but then again, you don’t want to miss your opportunity for reconciliation if that’s what he really wants. Here’s what you do. Observe the seven signs that he’s NOT over you and is still thinking about you nonstop.

1. He’s not dating anyone else.

While it’s true sometimes guys jump into rebound relationships, they are usually short-lived. If he’s not seriously dating anyone else and significant time passes, it does show that he’s preoccupied with the past. Maybe he’s thinking no one can measure up to your standards. Or maybe he’s thinking that he shouldn’t date anyone else if he’s still in love with you. Whatever the case, whenever a man stalls, he’s reluctant to let you go.

2. He finds reasons to talk to you.

Simply put, a man who isn’t over you will NOT give up. He will find any and every

reason to jump back into your life, even if it’s just for a chat or a phone call. He may randomly bump into you at a familiar spot. Or he may send jokes via email or instant messenger. He will look for excuses to talk to you, even if they sound ridiculously lame. Why would he keep contacting you even though it’s over? Because he wants to get closer to you. He wants to slowly rebuild trust and intimacy.

3. He is always talking about the past.

Maybe he’s too afraid to talk about the present or the future but he sure loves to reminisce about the past. This is actually a proven way to reignite intimacy if one or both of you have stopped communicating—and a technique I’ve often described in my eBooks. It’s a very effective technique, since reminiscing about the past puts your ex back in that moment. He thinks of those happy memories he feels an emotional connection to you. So if he is always discussing good memories of the past, this is a definite sign that he regrets losing that intimacy you once shared. He may be sending “feelers” out to see how you see the past relationship and whether you have any fond memories of him.

4. He is trying to make you feel jealous.

Jealousy is a game that immature couples play. But even though it is a somewhat low tactic, it’s a tactic that works and one that’s very revealing for how you ex feels about you. If he’s trying to hurt you by talking about his new girlfriend or all the dates he’s going on, that usually means he’s still emotionally wrapped up in the old relationship. A man that’s really over you has no reason to boast or “convincing himself” that he’s happier now. It’s the mark of a man who’s angry for letting you go.

5. He’s still living in your shadow, even when moving forward.

Sometimes guys do this strange thing where they unconsciously find a girl who looks or acts just like you. If you think you’re going slightly nuts for noticing this pattern, you’re not! A man who ignores his own personal growth and instead goes after a woman who looks like you, or has superficial similarities to you, is actually wrestling with his own guilt. He’s trying to replace you rather than learn something from the relationship. In short, he’s not moving on and he does want you back.

6. He stays suspiciously close to all your friends and family members.

He can’t quite leave the lifestyle behind! Even though you’ve separated he is still involved in your life. He gets to ask about you and get details from all these other people. They’re still family to him. He can still keep listening to his “little birds” chirping about you and still feel like it’s not quite over yet. (Yes, a nerdy Varys reference, how could I not?)

7. You’re still his go-to girl for everything happening in his life.

In my recent eBook, “Restart Your Lost Relationships Step by Step”, I discuss the importance of STOPPING all contact between you and your ex. One of the main reasons this helps is because when you continue to “friend” your ex, you never actually detach from his life. His power over you, the same old dynamic that needs to end continues on.

But letting go is essential. You both have to grow up, move forward and put an end to the way things were–yes, even if you want to win him back. If you still treat him like a godly figure, or a loved one, or someone you cherish…you’re not allowing yourself to process the grief. You’re not allowing him to process either. You’re still keeping that intimacy alive and building new bridges of trust. It’s a big mistake!

Remember, the question in all this is not just “Is he still in love with me?” but “Are we ready to try again?” Have you both grown and accepted the mistakes of the previous relationship? Was he always in love with real you or was he in love with an image of you, someone he THOUGHT you were? These are the tough questions you have to ask yourself before you entertain the idea of getting back together. Make sure it’s something you both want…and something your heart can handle.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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