It’s not too late to fix the marriage but it requires effort from both partners. You may be able to get help and talk matters through.
This may seem like an odd topic at first glance. How many signs do you need that your marriage is falling apart? Like throwing things, screaming matches, cheating on each other and filing for divorce? Those aren’t really signs…they’re more like tombstones of the respectful relationship that you once had.
The real issue is that if subtle signs of dissatisfaction are ignored or missed altogether, then resentment will only fester over time. These little problems will amplify and before you know it, what starts as a minor disagreement in taste can explode into a shouting match with your worst enemy—over everything! Every disappointment, every bad memory, either of you ever had.
The best course of action is to identify the signs of a troubled marriage earlier on and then take steps to talk things over with your partner. Don’t ignore signs just because they seem minor. They really can show you what’s on your partner’s mind. These six signs spell serious trouble…
1. The very thought of him “being there” provokes bad feelings.
If you are stressed out just at the thought of interacting with him, sleeping with him or doing daily routines with him, something is very wrong. Whether his presence makes you feel scared, stressed, depressed or angry, these are not normal reactions to have to a man whom you love. He may cause these negative reactions in the way he deals with you, or deals with situations, but the fact that you’re becoming resentful and uneasy with his presence is a bad sign. It’s not time to think up creative ways to avoid seeing him. It’s time to discuss why you feel this way with him and what he can do to minimize this subconscious conflict.
2. You really don’t understand each other anymore.
The entire relationship thrived on your shared values, shared opinions and the many things you had in common. Nowadays, you really don’t understand where he’s coming from or what he wants. Or maybe the things you once had in common are no longer the central focus in your lives. All you really feel is that you don’t “get him”, and he doesn’t get you. You’ve become roommates over the years because you don’t things together or share any strong opinions on anything. He feels like a stranger to you. You’ve reached the crossroads of this marriage and it’s time to determine what you actually do have together and if it’s worth fighting for.
3. You both go long periods of time without sex or deep bonding.
Whereas you used to go at it like bunnies, and have long conversations into the night, lately all you seem to talk about are bills, children, and errands. You don’t talk anymore, not the way you used to when you first met. You can’t remember the last time you had sex, and definitely not the last time it was really good. You don’t have a romance together. You may not even compliment or touch each other anymore, beyond the expected kiss and pat. While this may seem like a “normal marriage” at first, it’s actually suggesting that your marriage is slowly deteriorating.
It’s true that no marriage is constantly happy, sexy and perfectly romantic. But long periods of time where you do nothing and feel nothing is not normal. Real marriages are supposed to consist of some bad times, some great times, some good times and some not so good times. But if your entire marriage seems to be just… “OK” then something’s wrong. Your hearts have resigned from the experience of knowing and loving a person. It’s time to reevaluate what you feel.
4. Everything is taken for granted. There’s no effort put forth.
Whereas the early courtship was characterized by the man entertaining and providing for the woman, today it’s all about doing the absolute minimum. Maybe you feel like he’s not worth putting forth all this effort to please since no matter what you do, he just reacts the same way. Cooking, cleaning, dressing up, going out, and doing favors for him…it’s too much effort. He feels the same way and hardly bothers asking for your opinion. He doesn’t do much to make you smile anymore. You both have lost the joy of giving.
5. Only one of you is trying to communicate anymore.
There is a clear disconnect because the relationship has become very one-sided. Maybe it’s you or maybe it’s him. But what seems to happen is that only one of you is talking. One of you is trying to dominate the relationship while the other is resisting. Maybe you’re the one planning, deciding, talking and trying to get him to open up. But he doesn’t seem to want to interact with you. Or maybe he makes demands and throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. You don’t want to deal with the conflict he brings and so you shut down emotionally.
6. There is no growth, even after all these years.
Healthy relationships don’t stay the same. Stagnant routines and same-old conversations mean neither of you have really grown with each other. You haven’t opened up and you haven’t learned how to compromise. As healthy relationships progress, both partners are supposed to learn flexibility. They learn how to forgive. They learn how to improve and how to make their partner happy. They learn how to communicate their needs so that their partner can learn how to be a better provider. Their needs and goals in life may even change over time, which is another test of two people’s love for each other.
If you’ve never changed and he’s never changed, this implies serious inflexibility and a lack of compromise. Worse yet, there may be no emotional intimacy at all. You haven’t grown together because you haven’t completely opened up and developed trust.
If you notice any of these signs, don’t worry that it’s too late to save your marriage. You may still be able to work through your issues if you can come together as talk things out rationally, respectfully and with an open mind.
Some couples need professional couples counseling because they don’t know how to talk and how to share. But it’s not always necessary. What really matters is how honestly you communicate and how much effort you are willing to put into saving the life you have built together.
Don’t give up on your marriage until you’ve tried this
These days, around half of all marriages end in divorce.
That’s a pretty sad statistic… especially because so many of those divorces are preventable.
In reality, many marriages end prematurely. Why? Well, there are two reasons.
- Neither spouse knows how to prevent the passion, intimacy, and romantic connection from gradually fading away.
- They make the 3 “Marriage Murdering Mistakes” that very few people know about… and sadly, these 3 mistakes can quickly drive your marriage into disaster and divorce.
If you’re in this situation…
If your marriage is dead-as-a-doornail…
If you’re heading towards divorce, or even if you’re already at that point…
Then a new video by marriage coach Brad Browning will show you how to stop the downward spiral and breathe some life back into your relationship. (Brad’s a freakin’ genius, by the way.)
Begin Repairing Your Marriage *Today* <<
I wish I could force every couple experiencing a marriage crisis to watch this new video… because the strategies Brad reveals in it are extremely powerful and might be the difference between “unhappily divorced” and “happily ever after”.
The best part is that you can apply the techniques described in his video on your own… without your husband even being aware that you’re making an effort to save the marriage.
So don’t lose hope just because your partner refuses to attend marriage counselling, or won’t put in the effort to fix the problems that are slowly eating away at your marriage.
Watch the video now by clicking here: Begin Repairing Your Marriage *Today* <<
There’s no catch to this, and no marketing gimmicks… just a complimentary in-depth guide to saving your marriage.
At the very least, you should watch the first few minutes where Brad reveals the 3 ‘Marriage Murdering Mistakes’… these 3 massive myths alone are a huge reason why nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.
Don’t give up on love yet. Take action today and begin re-building your marriage… start by clicking the link below to watch the video now.
==> Begin Repairing Your Marriage *Today* <<
The techniques in the video have already worked for hundreds of married couples…. and they’ll work for you, too. What are you waiting for?
Here’s to a happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriage!
Talk to you soon,
Matthew Coast
