It feels terrible when you realize that your boyfriend (or even a husband) is taking advantage of you, using you, or taking you for granted in some other way. It’s especially crushing to learn this because we tend to make excuses for the person we love. We don’t want to believe the worst about them.
You want to consider his perspective. Minimize the damage. At the very least, you want to think that your relationship is built on mutual need. You use each other, you need each other, you love each other.
And damn it really, really hurts when you realize that he never loved you. He was always using you and he knew a long time ago, things were never going to get serious. This article may hurt, as you consider some of the most telling signs that you’re being used in a relationship.
But after we review the signs, we’ll talk about where to go from here.
1. He never seems to appreciate what you do, only what you’re not doing.
It’s easy to tell when a man is truly appreciated. He thanks you, he asks for favors, he is appreciative of what you do for him. It’s in the way he speaks, the sweet faces he, and yes, the way he pays you back for your kindness.
But if your guy never really says thanks or gives insincere gratitude, then he’s obviously using you for his own selfish purposes. Instead of showing appreciation and making it up to you, he focuses on what you’re doing, or what you’re not doing. He invents failures for you just to shame you into compliance.
2. He only wants to see you if he wants something.
Some men use women for sex. Others find other “uses” instead of sex. But the point remains the same: he only ever calls you or texts you when he wants something from you. He never contacts you to see how you’re doing, what he can do for you, or even for any decent conversation. He’s just using you as a means to an end and you feel it every time he calls.
Maybe he becomes a perfectly charming gentleman when he has no other options and when he’s thirsty for companionship on a lonely night. But he never seems interested the next day. He never wants conversation instead of mindless flirting.
Or, maybe he needs money, or transportation, or some other strings that you can pull to better his life. Either way, it’s obvious he needs your “help”, not your love.
3. He never invests anything of himself. It’s always you.
Sometimes it’s about money. Maybe he always expects you to pay for everything. Or maybe it’s just time. He refuses to any invest personal effort in your life. It’s always more of what you can give him, or spare him, or volunteer for him. He needs you for things, or for convenience. But he’s never giving you as much as he’s getting from you.
You’ve probably noticed over the years how it’s always you trying to make something happen or keep in contact. He is the one who always seems to drift away the moment you stop giving him what he wants.
4. He always threatens to leave you if…
It’s downright abusive to threaten to leave repeatedly…especially if it’s over little things. Like intellectual disagreements, or not doing something for you, or in “Disappointing Him” when he was counting on you.
None of this sounds like a loving relationship built on respect. It sounds like he’s just training you to be his servant and then threatens you if he senses you don’t “need” him enough. He’s treating you like a dictator or maybe like a mean boss. That’s not even a great way to manage employees or love, for that matter. That’s not at all what you want and no relationship should ever be built on such a ridiculous premise.
5. He never wants to go public with you.
Men who keep their partners a dirty “secret” are never serious about the future. They hide a woman because they’re ashamed. They feel watched by others. They don’t want to give any false hopes…not to you, but to their parents, friends, work colleagues and so on. If he refuses to be seen with you, he cannot even admit to himself what this relationship is. He only wants to use you for a specific purpose and then bar you from the rest of his life. You deserve better.
6. You constantly wonder if he’s using you…
Finally, let’s give some credit to intuition. Sometimes you just know if a man is taking advantage of you. You feel it. You even ask yourself, “If this relationship all me? Is he just using me and pretending to love or like me?”
Usually, when you listen to your conscience, you make excuses for the people you like. You may even try to talk yourself out of the disturbing thought. Maybe you’re thinking, “Well that’s not true. Because he did buy me lunch that one time…”
But ask yourself, are you talking yourself into believing his side of the story? Are you instincts telling you to question the relationship? If so, then believe your conscience. Believe your intuition. Something is wrong and you’re trying to figure it out.
Rebuilding Your Life
Yes, it hurts. But it’s important to realize the truth, and more importantly, what your ex-partner really thought. Understanding that your ex was not “evil” or without a soul is a start. You were incompatible because you both wanted different things. While he may not have acted honestly, there’s no sense in living in the past and blaming him for your entire future.
You’re in charge of your future. The moment you decide that you’re done with him is the moment you take your life back and take back control. You have to find the relationship you want by learning from the mistakes of past relationships. Once you’re in a stable and happy relationship you will instantly feel the difference.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Hum, this is happening to my daughter, poor her