“I think he’s definitely into me. Probably. Almost definitely interested. We’re just kind of taking it slow. But I’ve seen the way he looks at me. And the way he talks makes me think he wants to ask me out. There’s definitely chemistry there. We’re both just waiting for the right moment!”
And to this, I always say, “Well is the relationship progressing?”
“Well yeah…I guess so,” she says.
Is the relationship progressing? Is the flirting progressing? In other words, are you consistently moving forward rather than stalling, or even worse, going from two steps forward and then five steps back?
This is what I always ask someone who thinks they have a boyfriend or maybe a prospective date…and yet they don’t really know if the relationship is going anywhere. They think positively about it at first. “Well yeah,” she says. “I’m picking up on something.”
The problem is all that red-hot chemistry you feel could be one-sided. If you’re falling hard in love then, of course, you pick up on all these little signals and subtle behaviors. I’m sure it seems real at the moment.
But what I’m worried about is whether (A) the guy is just giving you “nice” flirty symbols, or (B) he’s giving you just enough attention to get you into bed. But in neither of these scenarios is he really into you. The flirting isn’t real. It’s stalled. It’s insincere and dopey, kind of like the flirting they all do on those late night talk shows. All for fun, but nothing emotionally revealing. You’re not moving forward and yet that’s what progressive like and love is supposed to feel like.
The best way to evaluate your relationship or a new prospective guy is to look for signs that either he is or isn’t into you. If you think you’re getting lots of signals from him, think twice. Look for these signs he’s just not that into you and see where your relationship is going and if something has to change.
1. If you have serious doubts, and if your friends and family seem oblivious to your “connection”, things aren’t looking good.
When the feelings are mutual, there’s no confusion. You know immediately that you are both attracted to each other and eager to talk to each other whenever the time comes. You don’t ever stop and wonder if this relationship is serious, but because he makes it clear how serious he is. The romantic tension between you is palpable, it’s almost intoxicating. When all you get from is a “maybe” or “was that a…?” it’s less likely he’s as serious about it as you are.
Another good indicator is whether or not your family and friends notice the connection happening. When two people are falling madly in love, other people sense it. If it’s just a fling, or worse yet, just platonic friendship (with mindless flirting thrown in out of boredom) they can also sense that too. They’re not going to think much of it.
2. He doesn’t seem interested in your mind, your life, or even your daily routine.
In fact, you’re the one usually initiating most of the contact. He’s polite to you, and maybe even flirty. But a man who really wants to invest time in you knows that he has to become friends first. What do friends talk about? What’s on your mind, what you do, what you’re going to do this weekend. If the guy you’re crushing on doesn’t ever seem interested in anything about you other than sex, he’s probably not looking forward to the afterglow…if you know what I mean.
3. He’s all about the other ladies!
Whether it’s asking you dating advice (about dating other women), flirting with other women, or trying to make you jealous about dating other women (meaning he’s just playing you) one thing’s for sure. He is not showing you the proper respect as a man who wants to seriously date a beautiful woman. A man who is very interested will stop gawking at other women (at least for one conversation!) and will be much more interested in YOU. It’s not just a matter of showing respect. It’s downright instinctive behavior from a man serious about proving himself a worthy lover. Undivided attention!
4. He’s never actually gone anything nice for you.
Here’s a little tidbit we all need to hear more often: being flirty and being sweet doesn’t cost a man anything. Cracking jokes is also fairly inexpensive. Men who just want sex, and men who have friend-zoned you may be chatty with you, but they will rarely EVER do anything nice. They won’t try to impress you. They won’t invest much materially or even when it comes to spending time with you. Flirting is cheap. Free, in fact.
But doing nice things for a woman they like—in other words, providing for her needs, is going to separate the casual guys from the serious guys. Men who aren’t serious about a relationship don’t go out of their way. There’s no reason to. Men who are serious will feel the need to impress you and make you feel something for them.
Casual guy friends will definitely not want to provide any emotional support. If you’re in crisis, he’s busy. If you look like you want to have a long conversation along somewhere, he hesitates. There’s definitely a look and a feel to a man who isn’t trying to impress you.
5. He’s cold…but friendly!
Men who aren’t seriously interested in you do not open up emotionally. They may smile, be polite, be flirty and give you bedroom eyes. But when it comes to sharing something of himself and his feelings, there is nothing there. He’d rather show off, crack jokes and talk about shallow things than actually confide something important to you. He doesn’t trust you with important information. He’s not listening or retaining much whenever you speak. And of course, he’s not threatened at all by the idea of you talking to other guys. Like I said, cold. A friendly sexy robot. That’s pretty much what he is and that means you’re stalled in this relationship.
A relationship that’s meaningful always moves forward. There’s an irresistible attraction that pushes the both of you forward. You will know when you meet him. Be patient and work on self-improvement so you can attract a real man worthy of your attention!
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2 thoughts on “5 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You”
Thank you for ”The Food for thinking ”
I’ve seen some piece of Shadow, as you ve Seen a Casper. That is all the time happens.
Tis a long time, that feeling, what ever you should trying, will not gonna work, to get to cathch real Shadow.
The steps, i do what i can..or not..
Into crash..i done have any idea.
Your questions, to passing or what you want hoe i have to to being.
Thats impossible. So. Thank you VERY.