5 Signs He Loves You in Bed

One of the weirdest things I’ve seen in the social media realm lately (you know, memes and such) is the idea that a lot of guys don’t like to please women in bed.

Hmm, really? Hard to believe! (No pun intended)

Oh I’m not doubting and I’m sure it happens. Maybe it has even happened to you courtesy of an ex-boyfriend you regret. Selfish, lazy guys who just want to have sex and don’t care about their partner’s satisfaction. How pathetic…and yeah it happens.

I would venture to say, however, that most decent men today are pleasers. They’re hard workers in bed. They love foreplay as well as marathon style sex. It’s in their nature. They want to please a woman, give her an orgasm, and be known forever as the “best she’s ever had.” And if you haven’t met a man like that yet, then by all means, put that on your to-do list and start looking!

But that said…

Just because a man works hard to please you in bed doesn’t mean he loves you! Frankly, it doesn’t even mean he likes you. Men, even decent and honest men, just happen to enjoy sex. And love and dating and all the other stuff is secondary because all he really cares about is giving you an orgasm. He’s a pleaser, he’s a hard worker. He’s a sex machine and doesn’t mind if you go around telling all your friends.

The problem is that if you fall for him, and all you really have in common is lots of great sex, there’s a good chance the relationship will be short-lived. He isn’t emotionally invested. He thinks of you as a friend-with-benefits, nothing more. He never got to know you because sex was rushed. Now you’re left feeling disappointed and confused.

How can you prevent this scenario? First and foremost, don’t sleep with him until he begins to feel something for you emotionally. If all a man wants is sex, no commitment or entanglement, he’ll usually run away at the first sign of emotional connection.

The next step, after you sense that he’s crazy about you, is to pay close attention to his bedroom manner. Because if he’s falling in love, it will show. If he’s not falling in love and it was all just about the sex, well, it’s also going to show. You can tell by noticing the post-coitus signs of love and affection.

Let’s consider five examples of a man buzzing in the afterglow and feeling love.

1. He doesn’t want the routine – he wants the romance.

He spends just as much time finding new ways to make love to you, as he spends in actual bedroom performance. When you want romance, he sets the scene. He fulfills your fantasy. In other words, he’s pleasing you emotionally and intellectually and that takes some serious effort.

2. He won’t pressure you to get his way.

Some guys are very adamant about not using condoms or about trying various forms of sex or foreplay – even if their partner is not into it. The woman says, “Oh fine I’ll try it” and the guy leaves happy. But here’s what a guy that’s in love does—he focuses on what the woman wants. He doesn’t pressure her or try to sell her an idea. He pays attention to what her fears are, what she enjoys, as well as her hard and soft limits. He’s a good listener and that shows a spirit of love.

3. More kissing and eye contact.

Men that want sex, well big surprise, they are far more interested in getting at the bra and panties! But guess what a guy in love wants to do? He wants sex, eventually…

But for now he’s fully invested in this moment. He looks you in the eye and shares that feeling. He kisses you, your lips and your face, and doesn’t fast-forward to the next or the chest. He wants the experience to last hours and to use all the five senses to make the evening special. That’s either the start of love or a very emotionally naked man who has no fear!

4. He asks too many questions… that means excellent communication!

There’s nothing unromantic about a man asking questions and checking in on you from time to time. In fact, the more intense the sexual or sensual experience is, the more important it should be to communicate with each other! He wants to make sure that you not only consent, but that you don’t REGRET the experience because of something that makes you uncomfortable.

Even something as little as a cold draft or an important phone call matters to him. Your happiness is more important to him than his sexual fantasy. That’s the beginning of love.

5. He is emotional, vulnerable and open during sex and after sex.

Most men are guarded during the sexual experience. They’re naked physically and so they think they need to be tough and masculine to be sexy. They may even be a little distant, particularly after orgasm. If he’s running away from commitment, he doesn’t want to send you any signals about commitment or love.

But a man who’s falling for you, is very into the afterglow. He looks you in the eye. He is mushy and soft-spoken. He is expressive with his words and just feels emotional when he speaks to you. He might finish the experience with a hug or a passionate kiss because it heightens the emotional bond you’re creating.

Taking his time in bed with you, especially after sex finishes, is the best indicator that he really feels something.

As you can see, what matters is not just that he pleases you – though that’s certainly a start. What matters is how emotionally involved he is with the experience and even the aftermath. Watch for accidental displays of emotion and see if he panics just a little bit, as if he’s revealing too much. The more he feels, the more he is progressing towards love! That’s what you want – so keep him in that happy, calm and open state of mind.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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