Kissing a man for the first time can be an awkward experience. The truth is, you probably would be more comfortable if the guy just picked up on your attraction and then confidently swooped in with the best kiss of your life.
Sure, who doesn’t want that? The problem is that most guys just don’t pick up on attraction so easily and they hesitate about just going for it. They don’t want to come across as rapey, or pushy, or just oblivious to how you feel. They want to kiss you with perfect timing.
Let’s face it, the dreaded “head turn” and polite rejection can be crushing to a man. He may think he’s misread your signals, or that you’re not attracted to him, or that he’s just out of your league.
This brings us to the first lesson on how to kiss a guy: prepare for the kiss.
If your instinct is to just pull a Katy Perry and run up and kiss that shy hot guy, well, your instincts are way off! Men DO want to take the lead. A woman too forward is usually a turn-off. This is why it’s important to flirt first and work your way up to the kiss.
By now you’ve been flirting in conversation and spending time together. Now it’s time to enter phase two of flirting behavior. Your goal is to show him that you’re ready for him to kiss you and that you feel as turned as he does. Remember these six steps:
1. Make sure you’re in a comfortable place where he can easily kiss you.
Don’t choose an awkward angle or a difficult standing position or anything that might ruin the mood. Don’t plan a kiss to happen if there’s a lot of noise, or if there’s a good chance you might get interrupted. Choose a quiet and clean environment to set the mood.
2. Smile and hold eye contact.
The worst thing you can do to discourage a man from kissing you is to avoid close eye contact and keep a straight face. He needs to feel your attraction. Don’t look away and don’t let yourself be easily distracted. He needs to feel “the right moment” and it’s a moment you create intentionally. Don’t be afraid to look him in the eye and tell him, without words, “Yes I want you to kiss me.” You put the idea into his head and he runs with it, thinking it’s his idea!
3. Touch him beforehand, letting him know you’re comfortable with his presence.
A man may not make a move if he senses you’re defensive or not feeling warm and open with him. This is why it’s a good idea to touch him a few minutes in advance of the kiss. Just a light touch on his arm or accidentally brushing by and touching his thigh or leg will allow him to feel closer to you physically.
Remember in addition to touching him beforehand, you can also sit closer to him, hug him and let the embrace linger a few moments. If the guy seems hesitant to make any move, or if you’re in a crowded place, you may have to help isolate him from the public view. For example, you could invite him outside to follow you or ask you to walk him home, or help you run some errands. Invite him to be chivalrous…this is always a good prelude to a kiss.
4. Prepare yourself physically so that you give him a memorable kiss.
While kissing is a lot of fun on its own, don’t underestimate the importance of smelling great and feeling great. Be clean and choose a perfume that goes well with your unique body chemistry. (As you know, smells can change from bottle to skin!) Make sure you have fresh breath. Keep your lips luscious by lightly brushing them with a toothbrush and then putting on some lip balm. Avoid sticky lip gloss. This will help give your lips the pouty, full texture he loves.
5. Compliment him. Then…wait for that awkward moment.
Complimenting a man before the kiss is a smart move. It shows that you’re interested in him and that if he decides to take a risk, it won’t be completely out of the blue. Focus on one of his good qualities. For example, his sense of humor, his haircut, his eyes or his handsome good looks. This may seem too forward for a confident guy, but it may be just what a shy guy needs to take a step forward.
Be sure to maintain eye contact with a smile when you compliment him. The next part is important too…you have to let the awkward lull in conversation happen. If you keep talking, either because you’re nervous or you think he’s nervous, you’re drowning out the kiss. The kiss can’t happen if one of you is always talking.
Either let him run out of things to say or you stop talking first. But maintain your eye contact during the silence. Smile. Embrace the awkward tension because it lets you both think the same thing: that it’s time for him to make a move!
6. Put forth positive body language and let him kiss you first.
As he moves in to kiss you, make sure your posture remains open and welcoming. Avoid folding your arms or having your hands clasped together. If your hands are constantly moving, hide them behind your back. Have your body standing or sitting in his direction. Keep your feet pointed at him, or your knees, in case you’re both sitting down. Don’t cross your legs. Cross your ankles as this is a more feminine and open gesture.
If you feel nervous, don’t try to hide it. Allow yourself to blush or squirm or your voice to crack because he wants your natural reaction to the sexual tension. Most men won’t take offense to this…they like the idea of you being a little anxious in their presence. It makes a guy want to calm you, to be strong, but to take it slow.
Be sure to gauge his reaction so that you can complement his movements. Lean in to kiss him when he leans in but go at the same pace. If he seems hesitant or moves slowly, smile and close your eyes. Sometimes too much eye contact can scare a shy guy away.
Finally, don’t end the kiss too soon. Keep the kiss going as long as he wants and learn to angle up slightly (as if looking towards his ear) OR angle downward towards the corner of his mouth.
What does your kiss SAY to a man?
If you’ve ever kissed a man, felt your toes curl and your heart soar and let yourself think you might have finally found “the one” only to end up disappointed and heartbroken again as he pulls away without even telling you why . . .
Then you need to stop whatever you’re doing and go watch this special presentation I just created for you right now . . .
The reason this presentation is so important is because in it I reveal a dangerous lie about what kissing actually means to men and how men secretly yearn to be kissed by women that has sabotaged every serious relationship you’ve ever had . . .
And teach you the exact threes steps to kiss a man that force him to automatically open his heart, let down his shields and start falling in love with you without saying even one single word . . .
Go watch now, I promise you will be very happy you did. =-)
Best,
Matthew Coast
P.S. Quick Quiz: If a man ____________ while kissing you it means he wants a serious relationship with you.
Can you fill in the blank?
Go watch the presentation now to find out
Click here to watch the presentation <<
