Melissa had been on four dates with Jake when she decided to ask him something most women never think to ask early on.
They were at a wine bar, conversation flowing easily, when she leaned forward and said: “What does a fulfilling relationship look like to you?”
Jake paused mid-sip. No woman had ever asked him that before. Not on date four. Not ever, really.
What followed was a thirty-minute conversation that revealed more about his values, his past, his fears, and his hopes than all their previous dates combined. She learned he’d watched his parents’ marriage fall apart over unspoken resentments. She discovered he valued direct communication above almost everything else. She understood why he sometimes seemed guarded—he was protecting himself from repeating his parents’ patterns.
By the end of that conversation, Melissa knew whether this relationship had real potential. Not because of what Jake said, but because she’d asked the right question at the right time.
Three years later, they’re engaged. And Melissa still says that question—asked on date four—was the turning point that transformed their relationship from casual dating into something real.
Here’s what most women don’t understand about the early stages of dating: The questions you ask matter more than anything you say about yourself.
We’re taught to be interesting, to be attractive, to keep him engaged. We worry about what to wear, what to say, whether we’re texting too much or too little. We obsess over making a good impression.
But we forget the most powerful tool we have: Strategic, thoughtful questions that reveal who he actually is.
According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, asking the right questions can accelerate intimacy and create deeper connections than months of surface-level conversation. The study found that specific types of questions led to increased feelings of closeness and attraction between strangers.
Yet most women waste the early dating stages on small talk and surface questions. “How was your day?” “What do you do for work?” “Do you like this restaurant?”
These aren’t bad questions. They’re just not going to tell you what you actually need to know: Is this man capable of being the partner you need? Does he have the emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and values that align with yours?
The early stages of dating are your investigation period. Not in a suspicious, interrogative way, but in a genuine, curious way that protects your heart and saves you time.
Because here’s the truth: Six months from now, you’re going to know whether this relationship works. The only question is whether you’ll discover deal-breakers early when you can walk away easily, or later when you’re already emotionally invested.
The right questions help you figure this out early.
But there’s a crucial caveat: Not all questions are created equal.
Some questions make men defensive. Some shut down conversation. Some make you seem like you’re interviewing rather than connecting. Some are too heavy too soon. Others are so surface-level they reveal nothing.
The seven questions I’m going to share with you are different. They’re perfectly calibrated for the early stages of dating—deep enough to reveal character, but not so intense that they feel like pressure.
They open doors instead of putting up walls. They create connection instead of interrogation. They give you crucial information while making him feel seen and understood.
In this article, you’ll learn exactly what to ask, when to ask it, why it matters, and what his answers actually mean. You’ll understand the psychology behind each question and how to listen for red flags or green lights in his responses.
By the end, you’ll have a roadmap for the early dating stages that saves you months or even years of investing in the wrong person.
You’ll know how to spot emotional unavailability early. How to identify genuine compatibility. How to distinguish between a man who talks a good game and a man who actually has the self-awareness and emotional capacity for a real relationship.
Most importantly, you’ll understand that asking great questions isn’t about testing him—it’s about honoring yourself enough to gather the information you need to make wise choices about your heart.
Ready? Let’s dive into the seven questions that will transform your early dating experience.
Table of Contents
- Why Questions Matter More Than Conversation
- Question #1: “What Does a Fulfilling Relationship Look Like to You?”
- Question #2: “What’s Something You’re Working on Improving About Yourself?”
- Question #3: “How Do You Handle Conflict?”
- Question #4: “What Did You Learn from Your Last Relationship?”
- Question #5: “What Role Do Your Friends and Family Play in Your Life?”
- Question #6: “What Are You Most Passionate About Right Now?”
- Question #7: “How Do You Recharge When You’re Stressed?”
- How to Ask These Questions Without It Feeling Like an Interview
- Reading Between the Lines: What His Answers Really Mean
- Red Flags vs. Yellow Flags vs. Green Flags
- Questions to Avoid in Early Dating
- Conclusion: Trust Your Investigation
<a name=”why-questions-matter”></a>Why Questions Matter More Than Conversation
Before we get to the specific questions, let’s talk about why asking the right questions is your most powerful dating tool.
Most dating advice focuses on how to be more attractive, more interesting, more desirable. It tells you what to say, what to wear, how to act. It’s all about presenting yourself in the best possible light.
But here’s what that approach misses: Dating isn’t a performance. It’s an investigation.
You’re not trying to convince him to like you. You’re trying to figure out if he’s worth your time, energy, and emotional investment.
According to Dr. John Gottman’s decades of relationship research, the couples who build lasting relationships are the ones who know each other deeply. They understand each other’s values, fears, dreams, and patterns. And that knowledge doesn’t happen by accident—it happens through intentional curiosity.
The Power of Strategic Questions
Research from Harvard Business School found that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners. But more than that, questions serve several crucial functions in early dating:
They reveal character quickly. You can learn more about someone’s values and emotional capacity in one thoughtful question than in ten surface-level dates.
They create intimacy. According to psychologist Arthur Aron’s famous study on creating closeness, asking progressively deeper questions accelerates emotional bonding. His research showed that strangers could create significant intimacy in just 45 minutes through the right questions.
They save you time. Would you rather discover he’s emotionally unavailable on date three or after six months of investment? Questions help you identify compatibility (or incompatibility) early.
They show you’re intentional. A woman who asks thoughtful questions signals that she values substance over surface-level attraction. This actually makes you more attractive to high-quality men who are also looking for something real.
What Most Women Get Wrong
The mistake most women make is either asking too many surface questions (which reveal nothing meaningful) or asking too many heavy questions too soon (which feels like an interrogation).
The sweet spot is questions that:
- Feel natural in conversation
- Reveal values and character
- Don’t require him to be vulnerable before he’s ready
- Give you actionable information about compatibility
- Create connection rather than pressure
The seven questions I’m sharing hit that sweet spot perfectly. They’re designed for dates two through six—that crucial window where you’re figuring out if this is going somewhere or if you should cut your losses.
The Listening Component
Here’s something crucial: The question is only half of it. How you listen to the answer is the other half.
You’re not just listening to what he says. You’re listening for:
- Self-awareness vs. defensiveness
- Ownership vs. victim mentality
- Specificity vs. vagueness
- Consistency with his behavior vs. contradiction
- Emotional intelligence vs. emotional immaturity
We’ll dive deeper into this later, but for now, understand that these questions are tools for gathering data about who he really is. Not who he presents himself to be, but who he actually is when you dig a little deeper.
<a name=”question-1″></a>Question #1: “What Does a Fulfilling Relationship Look Like to You?”
Why This Question Is Pure Gold
This is the question Melissa asked Jake, and it’s the most powerful question on this entire list.
Here’s why: Most people have never actually articulated what they want in a relationship. They know what they don’t want (based on past relationships that didn’t work). But they’ve never sat down and thought: “What would a truly fulfilling relationship actually look like for me?”
When you ask this question, you’re giving him the opportunity to reflect on something deeply important. And his ability to answer this question tells you almost everything you need to know about his emotional readiness for a real relationship.
What You’re Really Asking
On the surface, you’re asking about his relationship goals. But underneath, you’re discovering:
- Has he done the work to know what he actually wants? (Self-awareness)
- Can he articulate emotional and relational needs? (Emotional intelligence)
- Does his vision of a relationship align with yours? (Compatibility)
- Is he capable of thinking beyond surface-level attraction? (Maturity)
According to Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, people who can articulate their relationship needs are far more likely to create satisfying partnerships. Those who can’t often repeat the same dysfunctional patterns indefinitely.
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 3-5
This question works best once you’ve established basic comfort with each other, but before you’re too emotionally invested to walk away if his answer reveals major incompatibility.
Don’t ask this on date one—it’s too heavy. Don’t wait until date ten—you’ve probably already caught feelings by then.
Natural conversation openers:
- After discussing a friend’s relationship
- When talking about what you’re both looking for generally
- During a deeper conversation about life goals
- When he asks you about your past relationships
Real-Life Example
Amanda asked this question to two different men she was dating simultaneously (before exclusivity).
Man #1 (David) answered: “Honestly, I haven’t thought about it much. I guess someone who’s cool, attractive, doesn’t nag me. Someone who doesn’t try to change me.”
Man #2 (Marcus) answered: “I’ve thought about this a lot actually. I think a fulfilling relationship is one where both people can be completely themselves and feel safe being vulnerable. Where you’re teammates handling life together, not just roommates who have sex. Someone who challenges me to grow but also accepts me where I am.”
Amanda ended things with David after two more dates. She’s now in a committed relationship with Marcus.
The difference? David’s answer was all about what he wanted to avoid. Marcus’s answer showed self-reflection and emotional maturity.
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He can articulate specific qualities beyond physical attraction
- He mentions emotional connection, trust, communication, or partnership
- He’s thought about this before (shows intentionality)
- He includes concepts like growth, teamwork, or mutual support
- He can be specific rather than vague
Red flags in his answer:
- He can’t answer or says he’s “never thought about it”
- His answer is entirely focused on what he wants to avoid
- He only mentions surface qualities (looks, sex, fun)
- His answer sounds like he’s describing a servant, not a partner
- He gets defensive or dismissive of the question
Yellow flags in his answer:
- His answer is overly idealistic or unrealistic (might be emotionally immature)
- He describes his ex and says “the opposite of that” (hasn’t processed his past)
- His answer contradicts how he’s actually behaving with you
How to Follow Up
Don’t just ask the question and move on. Dig deeper with follow-up questions:
- “That’s interesting—what made you realize that’s important to you?”
- “Have you experienced that in past relationships, or is this what you’re working toward?”
- “How do you think you contribute to creating that kind of relationship?”
The follow-ups reveal whether he’s just giving you a good answer or actually has depth behind his response.
What This Question Reveals
This single question tells you:
- His level of self-awareness
- His emotional maturity
- His relationship readiness
- His core values
- Whether his vision aligns with yours
If he gives a thoughtful, self-aware answer that aligns with what you want, you’ve found someone worth investing more time in. If his answer is defensive, superficial, or completely misaligned with your values, you’ve just saved yourself months of heartache.
<a name=”question-2″></a>Question #2: “What’s Something You’re Working on Improving About Yourself?”
The Self-Awareness Test
This question is brilliant because it’s disguised as casual conversation but actually reveals whether a man has the self-awareness and growth mindset necessary for a healthy relationship.
Think about it: A man who can honestly identify areas where he’s working to improve himself is:
- Self-aware enough to recognize his weaknesses
- Humble enough to admit them
- Motivated enough to actively work on them
- Growth-oriented rather than fixed in his ways
According to psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on mindset, people with a growth mindset (who believe they can improve) are better partners than those with a fixed mindset (who believe they are who they are and can’t change).
Why This Matters for Relationships
Dr. John Gottman’s research found that 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual—they never fully resolve because they’re based on fundamental personality differences. The question isn’t whether he has flaws (everyone does). The question is whether he’s willing to work on them.
A man who can’t identify anything he’s working to improve will likely:
- Blame you for all relationship problems
- Resist feedback or suggestions
- Stay stuck in unhealthy patterns
- Lack the self-awareness necessary for emotional intimacy
A man who can thoughtfully answer this question is someone who can grow with you rather than against you.
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 2-4
This is a relatively safe question for early dating because it doesn’t require deep vulnerability, but it reveals crucial information about character.
Natural conversation starters:
- When discussing New Year’s resolutions or goals
- After he mentions something he’s learning or trying
- When talking about personal growth or therapy
- During a conversation about challenges or struggles
Real-Life Example
Christine asked this question to Brian on their third date.
His answer: “You know, I’ve been working on not being so reactive when I’m stressed. I used to snap at people, and I realized that’s not who I want to be. So I’ve been doing this thing where I take a breath before responding when I’m frustrated. It’s helped a lot.”
Christine was impressed for three reasons:
- He could identify a specific flaw (reactivity under stress)
- He took responsibility for it (didn’t blame others)
- He had a concrete strategy for improvement (pause before responding)
Compare this to her ex, who would have answered: “I don’t know, I’m pretty much good the way I am. Maybe I could be better at remembering birthdays or whatever.”
Brian’s self-awareness and commitment to growth? That’s husband material. Her ex’s defensiveness and lack of self-reflection? That’s why he’s an ex.
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He can identify a specific area of growth
- He takes ownership without excessive self-deprecation
- He has a concrete plan or strategy for improvement
- He shows genuine commitment to the process
- He can talk about why this matters to him
Red flags in his answer:
- He claims he doesn’t need to improve anything
- He deflects with humor or defensiveness
- He lists only superficial things (“I should go to the gym more”)
- He blames others for his “flaws” (“People say I work too much, but it’s because…”)
- He can’t answer at all
Yellow flags in his answer:
- He gets overly self-critical (might have low self-esteem)
- Everything he’s “improving” is to meet others’ expectations, not his own
- His answer sounds rehearsed or like he’s trying to impress you
Follow-Up Questions
Dig deeper:
- “What made you realize you wanted to work on that?”
- “How’s that going for you?”
- “What’s been the hardest part?”
- “Who or what has helped you with this?”
The follow-ups reveal whether this is a genuine growth journey or just a good answer he gives on dates.
What This Question Reveals
This question tells you:
- His level of self-awareness
- His ability to take responsibility
- His growth mindset vs. fixed mindset
- His emotional maturity
- Whether he’ll be defensive about feedback in a relationship
A man who can authentically answer this question is someone who can handle the inevitable conflicts and growth opportunities that come with a real relationship.
<a name=”question-3″></a>Question #3: “How Do You Handle Conflict?”
Why This Is Non-Negotiable Information
Here’s a truth most women learn too late: How a man handles conflict is one of the most important predictors of relationship success.
Not whether you have conflict—every couple does. But how he navigates disagreement, stress, and tension.
According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, the Four Horsemen of relationship apocalypse are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. How a man handles conflict tells you whether he’s prone to these relationship killers.
Does he shut down? Explode? Blame? Deflect? Or does he stay present, take responsibility, and work toward resolution?
This question reveals all of that.
The Early Warning System
Most women wait until they’re in a relationship to discover how a man handles conflict. By then, they’re emotionally invested, which makes it harder to leave even when the warning signs are glaring.
Asking this question in early dating gives you crucial advance intelligence. You’re finding out how he’ll treat you when things get hard, before you’re in too deep to easily walk away.
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 4-6
This is a slightly heavier question, so wait until you have some rapport established. But don’t wait too long—if you’re already falling for him, you might rationalize red flags.
Natural conversation openings:
- When discussing a conflict he mentions at work or with friends
- After talking about communication styles
- When he asks about your past relationships
- During a conversation about what you value in relationships
Real-Life Example
Taylor asked this question to Matt on their fifth date.
His answer: “Honestly, I used to be terrible at conflict. I’d either shut down completely or get really defensive. But I did some therapy after my last relationship ended, and I learned that I do that because conflict felt really unsafe growing up. Now I try to catch myself when I’m doing it. I’ll usually say ‘I need a few minutes’ rather than just disappearing, and then I come back when I’m calmer to actually talk about it.”
Taylor was blown away. Not because Matt was perfect, but because he showed incredible self-awareness and a genuine commitment to improving his conflict patterns.
Compare this to her ex, Jake, who would have said: “I don’t really do conflict. If someone has a problem, they should just tell me directly and not make it a big thing.”
Jake’s answer sounds reasonable on the surface, but it’s actually a huge red flag—it puts all responsibility for healthy communication on the other person and suggests he’ll minimize her feelings if she brings up concerns.
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He acknowledges he’s had to work on this (shows growth)
- He can identify his patterns (self-awareness)
- He values direct communication and mutual respect
- He mentions taking time to cool down if needed (emotional regulation)
- He emphasizes understanding the other person’s perspective
Red flags in his answer:
- “I don’t really have conflict” (avoidant or dishonest)
- “I just walk away until they calm down” (dismissive)
- “I don’t let people disrespect me” (suggests aggression or defensiveness)
- He blames others for all past conflicts
- He describes explosive reactions without mentioning growth
- “I’m always right so conflicts don’t last long” (narcissistic)
Yellow flags in his answer:
- He seems overly focused on “winning” conflicts
- He can only describe how others handle conflict poorly, not how he does
- His answer is very theoretical with no personal examples
Follow-Up Questions
Go deeper:
- “Can you give me an example of a recent conflict and how you handled it?”
- “What have you learned about yourself through conflicts?”
- “What helps you when you’re in a disagreement with someone you care about?”
- “How do you know when you need space vs. when you need to push through and talk?”
The specifics reveal whether his answer is genuine or just what he thinks you want to hear.
The Make-or-Break Importance
Listen carefully: This question can save you years of heartache.
If he can’t handle conflict constructively, your relationship will be characterized by:
- Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting him
- Explosive fights or icy silence
- Unresolved resentments that build over time
- You constantly managing his emotions
- Feeling unheard or dismissed when you have concerns
A man who handles conflict maturely will:
- Make you feel safe bringing up concerns
- Take responsibility for his part in disagreements
- Work toward resolution rather than winning
- Repair the connection after conflict
- Grow through challenges rather than letting them erode the relationship
This single question tells you which kind of man you’re dealing with.
<a name=”question-4″></a>Question #4: “What Did You Learn from Your Last Relationship?”
The Crucial Difference Between Lessons and Blame
This question is incredibly revealing because it shows you whether a man has done the emotional work necessary to be ready for a new relationship.
According to attachment theory, people who haven’t processed their past relationships tend to repeat the same patterns with new partners. They carry forward the same defensive mechanisms, the same unmet needs, the same triggers.
This question reveals whether he’s:
- Taken responsibility for his part in past failures
- Learned and grown from the experience
- Processed the relationship rather than just moved on
- Capable of self-reflection and insight
Why Past Relationships Predict Future Ones
Relationship researcher Dr. Ty Tashiro found that people tend to repeat the same relationship patterns unless they consciously work to change them. If a man hasn’t identified what went wrong in his last relationship and what he contributed to the problems, he’s going to bring those same issues into a relationship with you.
Think about it: If he blames his ex for everything, he’ll eventually blame you too. If he can’t identify his role in past conflicts, he won’t take responsibility in future ones. If he hasn’t learned anything, he hasn’t grown.
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 3-5
This is personal but not invasive. By date three, it’s natural to discuss past relationships. But don’t wait too long—you need this information before you’re emotionally attached.
Natural conversation starters:
- When discussing relationship history generally
- After he mentions his ex in passing
- When talking about what you’re both looking for
- During a conversation about growth or life lessons
Real-Life Example
Nicole asked this question to two different men she dated.
Man #1 (Ryan) answered: “Honestly, she was just crazy. Like, she would get upset about the smallest things. She was super insecure and needy. I tried to make it work but you can’t reason with crazy.”
Man #2 (Daniel) answered: “I learned that I have a tendency to pull away when things get too serious. I got scared of commitment and started creating distance, which made her feel insecure, which made me pull away more. It was a vicious cycle. I’ve been working on that pattern because I don’t want to do that again.”
Nicole immediately recognized the difference. Ryan blamed his ex and took zero responsibility. Daniel showed genuine insight into his patterns and was actively working to change them.
She stopped seeing Ryan after that date. She’s now in a serious relationship with Daniel, and his self-awareness has proven accurate—he’s worked hard to stay present even when commitment feels scary.
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He takes ownership of his part in the relationship ending
- He can identify specific patterns or behaviors he contributed
- He speaks about his ex with respect (or at least without contempt)
- He’s genuinely learned something valuable
- He shows humility and growth
Red flags in his answer:
- He blames his ex for everything
- He uses words like “crazy,” “psycho,” or “insane” to describe her
- He portrays himself as a complete victim
- He says he “doesn’t have regrets” or “wouldn’t change anything”
- He says all his exes were the problem
- He claims he learned nothing because he “did everything right”
Yellow flags in his answer:
- He gets overly emotional talking about his ex (might not be over her)
- He shares inappropriate details about their sex life or private matters
- He says he learned to “never trust women” or makes sweeping generalizations
- His answer is very rehearsed or sounds like he’s been in therapy too much (might be performing insight without genuine integration)
Follow-Up Questions
Probe deeper:
- “How have you applied that lesson since then?”
- “What would you do differently if you could go back?”
- “How long ago did that relationship end?”
- “What made you realize that about yourself?”
The follow-ups reveal whether his learning is genuine or just a good narrative he’s constructed.
What This Question Reveals
This question tells you:
- His emotional maturity
- His capacity for self-reflection
- Whether he takes responsibility or plays the victim
- How he’ll talk about you if this relationship ends
- Whether he’s emotionally ready for something new
If he can’t identify anything he learned, he hasn’t grown. And if he hasn’t grown, he’s going to repeat the same patterns that ended his last relationship.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. In dating, this means if you haven’t learned from your past, you’re destined to repeat it.” — Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship expert
<a name=”question-5″></a>Question #5: “What Role Do Your Friends and Family Play in Your Life?”
Why Relationships Are a Web, Not a Vacuum
Here’s something crucial that most dating advice ignores: You’re not just dating him. You’re entering his entire relational ecosystem.
His relationship with friends and family reveals:
- His capacity for long-term connection
- How he treats people when the initial excitement wears off
- His values around loyalty and commitment
- What role you’ll be expected to play in his life
- Whether he has a support system or will expect you to be his everything
According to research from the University of Michigan, the quality of a person’s non-romantic relationships is one of the strongest predictors of romantic relationship success. People who maintain healthy friendships tend to be better partners.
The Attachment Connection
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, explains that our early relationships shape how we connect throughout life.
A man’s current relationships with family and friends tell you:
- Whether he has a secure attachment style (comfortable with closeness and independence)
- Whether he’s avoidant (keeps everyone at arm’s length)
- Whether he’s anxiously attached (clings to relationships out of fear of abandonment)
- Whether he’s capable of maintaining multiple important relationships (you’re not going to be his sole source of connection)
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 2-4
This is a relatively light question that can be asked early. It doesn’t require deep vulnerability but gives you crucial information about his relational capacity.
Natural conversation openings:
- When discussing weekend plans or holidays
- After he mentions a friend or family member
- When talking about where you both live and why
- During a conversation about important people in your lives
Real-Life Example
Jordan asked this question to Kevin on their third date.
His answer: “My family is really important to me. I call my mom every Sunday, and I try to see my sister at least once a month even though she lives two hours away. My friends are like family too—I’ve known my core group since college, and we make sure to get together regularly even though we’re all busy.”
Jordan immediately felt good about this answer. It showed:
- He values long-term relationships (still close with college friends)
- He maintains connections even when inconvenient (drives two hours for his sister)
- He’s capable of consistent care (weekly calls with mom)
- He has a support system (won’t make her his only source of emotional support)
Compare this to her ex, who said: “Eh, my family is kind of toxic so I don’t really see them. And I don’t have time for friends—they’re all married now anyway and we’ve kind of drifted apart.”
Her ex’s answer was a massive red flag she ignored at the time. Someone with no close relationships typically:
- Struggles with intimacy and commitment
- Lacks the skills to maintain long-term connections
- Will put all relationship pressure on you
- May have unresolved trauma or conflict avoidance
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He maintains close relationships with family (even if they’re not perfect)
- He has long-term friendships
- He makes time for people who matter to him
- He speaks warmly about the people in his life
- He has a balance of independence and connection
Red flags in his answer:
- He has no close relationships with anyone
- He describes all his relationships as “toxic” or “drama”
- He hasn’t maintained any long-term friendships
- He says he “doesn’t need anyone”
- He’s completely enmeshed with family (can’t make decisions without them)
- He bad-mouths everyone in his life
Yellow flags in his answer:
- He’s estranged from family for unclear or vague reasons
- All his friendships are brand new (what happened to the old ones?)
- He’s overly dependent on one person (usually mom)
- He seems to have no boundaries with family (they control his life)
Follow-Up Questions
Get more details:
- “What do you love most about your closest friend?”
- “How do you and your family handle disagreements?”
- “What role do you see a partner playing with your family and friends?”
- “Who do you go to when you need support?”
These follow-ups reveal the quality of his relationships, not just their existence.
What This Question Reveals
This question tells you:
- His capacity for long-term commitment
- His relational health and skills
- What kind of support system he has (or will expect from you)
- How he maintains relationships over time
- Whether he has healthy boundaries
A man with healthy relationships will:
- Make room for you in his life without abandoning others
- Have people who can support him emotionally
- Model how he’ll treat you long-term
- Bring you into a wider community rather than isolating you
A man with no close relationships will:
- Make you his entire world (which sounds romantic but is actually suffocating)
- Lack the skills to navigate long-term relationship challenges
- Have no one to turn to when you have conflicts (putting all pressure on the relationship)
- Likely struggle with intimacy and connection
Pay close attention to this answer. It’s telling you your future.
<a name=”question-6″></a>Question #6: “What Are You Most Passionate About Right Now?”
Beyond Career: The Vitality Question
This question is brilliantly versatile because it reveals so much about a man’s inner life, values, and how he spends his energy when no one’s watching.
Passion indicates vitality. It shows what lights him up, what he cares about, what makes him feel alive. And a man with passion is a man who won’t drain your energy because he has his own sources of fulfillment.
According to positive psychology research, people with strong interests and passions outside their romantic relationships have more satisfying partnerships. Why? Because they don’t expect their partner to be their sole source of joy and meaning.
What This Question Really Reveals
On the surface, you’re asking about his interests. But underneath, you’re discovering:
- Whether he has a rich inner life
- What he values enough to invest time in
- Whether he’s capable of enthusiasm and joy
- If he has goals and direction
- Whether he’ll expect you to be his only source of fulfillment
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 1-3
This is a great early question because it’s light, positive, and creates engaging conversation. It’s perfect for creating connection without heavy emotional weight.
Natural conversation starters:
- When discussing hobbies or weekend activities
- After he mentions something he enjoys
- When talking about how you each spend free time
- During any lull in conversation (this always revives it)
Real-Life Example
Sophia asked this question to Brandon on their second date.
His answer: “Right now I’m really into rock climbing. I started about a year ago and I’ve gotten totally hooked. I love how it’s both a physical and mental challenge—you have to strategize your route while also pushing your body. I try to go at least twice a week, and I’m planning a trip to climb in Colorado this summer.”
Sophia loved this answer because it showed:
- He has a genuine passion (not just passive hobbies like watching TV)
- He commits to things (has been doing it consistently for a year)
- He has goals (the Colorado trip)
- He values growth and challenge (seeks out difficulty rather than just comfort)
- He has balance (twice a week, not obsessively)
Compare this to her ex, Marcus, who answered: “I don’t know, I’m not really passionate about anything right now. I’m just working and trying to figure things out.”
Marcus’s answer revealed someone adrift without direction or vitality—exactly what she experienced in their relationship. He expected her to fill all his time and be his source of entertainment and meaning. It was exhausting.
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He lights up talking about something specific
- He has a hobby or interest he actively pursues
- He’s learning something or working toward a goal
- His passion is something generative (creating, building, learning) rather than purely consumptive
- He’s enthusiastic without being obsessive
Red flags in his answer:
- He can’t think of anything he’s passionate about
- His only passion is work (no life balance)
- His “passion” is something harmful or destructive
- He’s so obsessed with his passion there’s no room for a relationship
- He used to have passions but “doesn’t have time anymore” (often means depression or burnout)
Yellow flags in his answer:
- His passion is extremely expensive (might have financial issues)
- His passion requires constant travel or time away (relationship will always be secondary)
- He’s serially passionate (starts things intensely but never sticks with them)
- His passion is all-consuming (will he have time and energy for you?)
Follow-Up Questions
Dig deeper:
- “What draws you to that?”
- “How did you get into it?”
- “What do you love most about it?”
- “Where do you see yourself going with this?”
The follow-ups reveal the depth of his passion and what it means to him.
What This Question Reveals
This question tells you:
- Whether he has a rich inner life
- His capacity for joy and enthusiasm
- Whether he’ll expect you to be his sole source of fulfillment
- His values (what he chooses to invest time in reveals what matters)
- His goal-orientation and commitment
A man with genuine passions brings vitality to a relationship. He’s not looking for you to complete him or entertain him. He has his own sources of joy, which makes him a fuller, more interesting partner.
A man without passions is often:
- Depressed or emotionally shut down
- Going to make you his entire world (sounds romantic, feels suffocating)
- Lacking direction or purpose
- Unable to bring enthusiasm and joy to the relationship
“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” — Oprah Winfrey
In relationships, this means: A man who is passionate about life will bring that energy to loving you. A man who is passionate about nothing will drain your energy trying to find fulfillment through you.
<a name=”question-7″></a>Question #7: “How Do You Recharge When You’re Stressed?”
The Self-Care Question That Predicts Relationship Health
This might seem like the lightest question on the list, but it’s actually incredibly strategic because it reveals his emotional regulation skills and self-awareness.
According to research on stress and relationships, how someone manages their stress directly impacts their relationship quality. People who have healthy coping mechanisms tend to be better partners during difficult times.
This question tells you:
- Whether he has healthy or unhealthy coping strategies
- If he’s self-aware about his stress patterns
- How he’ll treat you when he’s overwhelmed
- Whether he’ll burden you with managing his emotions
- If he takes responsibility for his own well-being
The Stress Response and Relationships
Neuroscience research shows that chronic stress activates the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and reduces activity in the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thinking and emotional regulation).
In practical terms: Stressed people often become the worst versions of themselves.
The question is whether someone has developed healthy strategies to manage stress before it damages their relationships, or whether they let stress turn them into someone difficult to be around.
When to Ask This Question
Best timing: Dates 2-4
This is a casual question that can be asked early. It doesn’t feel invasive, but the answer gives you crucial intelligence about how he’ll show up during hard times.
Natural conversation starters:
- When discussing a stressful work situation
- During a conversation about self-care or wellness
- After he mentions feeling stressed about something
- When talking about how you each handle difficult periods
Real-Life Example
Hannah asked this question to Lucas on their third date.
His answer: “I’ve learned I need to exercise when I’m stressed—it’s like hitting a reset button. I also journal sometimes, which sounds weird but it helps me process things. And I’ve gotten better at recognizing when I need to talk to someone versus when I just need space. Used to be I’d just bottle everything up and then snap at people, but I’ve worked on that.”
Hannah immediately recognized the maturity in this answer:
- He has multiple healthy coping strategies (exercise, journaling, talking)
- He’s self-aware about his patterns (knows when he needs space vs. support)
- He’s worked on his stress response (used to snap at people, doesn’t anymore)
- He takes responsibility for his emotional state (doesn’t expect others to manage it for him)
Compare this to her ex, Derek, who would have said: “I just need to blow off steam. I’ll have a few drinks or play video games. Sometimes I just need everyone to leave me alone for a while.”
Derek’s answer should have been a massive warning sign (which she saw in retrospect):
- His coping mechanism was substance use and avoidance
- He handled stress by shutting people out
- He had no constructive strategies for processing difficult emotions
- He made his stress everyone else’s problem
What to Listen For
Green flags in his answer:
- He has healthy coping strategies (exercise, hobbies, talking to friends, therapy)
- He’s aware of what he needs when stressed
- He’s worked on improving his stress response
- He has multiple strategies rather than just one
- He can identify when he needs space vs. when he needs connection
Red flags in his answer:
- His coping strategy is substance use (alcohol, drugs, excessive drinking)
- He shuts everyone out and becomes unreachable
- He takes stress out on other people
- He has no healthy coping strategies
- He says he “doesn’t really get stressed” (lack of self-awareness or dishonesty)
- He expects others to fix his stress for him
Yellow flags in his answer:
- His only coping strategy is work (workaholism)
- He completely withdraws and can’t articulate what he needs
- His stress management requires excessive time or resources
- He’s overly dependent on one person to manage his stress
Follow-Up Questions
Get more specific:
- “Has that always worked for you, or did you have to figure that out?”
- “How do you communicate to people around you when you’re stressed?”
- “What happens if you can’t do those things when you’re stressed?”
- “How has your stress management changed over the years?”
These follow-ups reveal how deeply he understands himself and whether he’s actively working on emotional regulation.
What This Question Reveals
This question tells you:
- His emotional maturity and regulation skills
- Whether he’ll be a supportive partner during hard times
- How he’ll treat you when life gets difficult
- If he takes responsibility for his emotional state
- Whether he has healthy or destructive coping mechanisms
Here’s the brutal truth: Stress is inevitable in life. Jobs get stressful. Family members get sick. Money gets tight. Unexpected challenges arise.
The question isn’t whether stress will happen. The question is how he’ll handle himself when it does.
A man with healthy stress management will:
- Stay emotionally present even during hard times
- Take care of his well-being so he can still show up for you
- Communicate his needs clearly
- Not make his stress your problem to solve
- Work through difficulty rather than running from it
A man with poor stress management will:
- Become emotionally unavailable or aggressive when stressed
- Use you as an emotional dumping ground
- Withdraw completely and shut you out
- Turn to destructive coping mechanisms
- Make every stressful period a relationship crisis
This question tells you which type of man you’re dealing with—before you’re in the relationship and dealing with the fallout.
<a name=”how-to-ask”></a>How to Ask These Questions Without It Feeling Like an Interview
Now that you know the seven questions, let’s talk about how to actually ask them in a way that creates connection rather than feeling like an interrogation.
The Flow, Not the Script
The biggest mistake women make with strategic questions is treating them like a checklist they need to get through. “Okay, question three, check. Now on to question four.”
That’s not a date. That’s a job interview.
Instead, think of these questions as conversation deepeners that you weave naturally into organic dialogue.
Here’s how:
1. Follow the Conversation Threads
Don’t force these questions. Wait for natural openings where they fit the flow of conversation.
For example:
- He mentions a conflict at work → Perfect time for “How do you handle conflict?”
- He talks about his weekend plans with family → Natural opening for “What role do your friends and family play in your life?”
- He mentions feeling stressed → Ask “How do you recharge when you’re stressed?”
When questions flow naturally from the conversation, they feel like genuine curiosity, not interrogation.
2. Share Your Own Answer First
Sometimes, the best way to ask these questions is to share your own answer first, then invite his.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what a fulfilling relationship looks like to me. I think it’s one where both people can be completely themselves and still feel connected. What about you—have you thought about that?”
This approach:
- Makes it a two-way conversation, not an interview
- Shows vulnerability, which creates safety for him to be vulnerable
- Demonstrates that you’re reflecting on these things too
- Makes the question feel less like a test
3. Space Them Out
Don’t ask all seven questions on one date. Space them across multiple dates so each conversation has depth but doesn’t feel overwhelming.
A good rhythm:
- Date 1-2: Lighter questions (#6 about passions, maybe #7 about stress management)
- Date 3-4: Medium depth (#1 about relationships, #5 about friends/family, #2 about self-improvement)
- Date 4-6: Deeper questions (#3 about conflict, #4 about past relationships)
4. Listen More Than You Ask
The key to great questions is following up on his answers rather than moving on to the next question.
If he says something interesting, dig deeper:
- “Tell me more about that”
- “What do you mean by…?”
- “That’s interesting—what made you realize that?”
- “Can you give me an example?”
One good question with three follow-ups is better than three questions with no follow-up. It shows you’re genuinely interested in understanding him, not just checking boxes.
5. Read the Room
Pay attention to his comfort level and engagement. If he seems closed off or defensive, back off and keep things lighter. If he’s opening up and engaged, lean into the deeper conversation.
Some men need more time to feel safe with vulnerable questions. Others will appreciate the depth immediately. Adjust based on his responsiveness.
6. Make It Conversational, Not Clinical
Avoid these phrases:
- “I need to ask you something important”
- “I have a question for you”
- “Can I ask you about…”
Instead, make it casual:
- “I was thinking about…”
- “I’m curious about…”
- “I’d love to know…”
- Simply ask the question naturally
The more conversational you are, the less it feels like an examination.
The Do This vs. Don’t Do This Table
| Do This | Don’t Do This |
|---|---|
| Ask questions when they flow naturally from conversation | Force questions into unrelated conversations |
| Share your own answer first sometimes | Only ask questions without reciprocating |
| Follow up with genuine curiosity | Move robotically from one question to the next |
| Space questions across multiple dates | Ask all seven on date two |
| Pay attention to his comfort level | Push for answers when he’s clearly uncomfortable |
| Listen actively to his answers | Think about your next question while he’s talking |
| Let silence happen after deep answers | Fill every pause with the next question |
| Ask because you’re genuinely curious | Ask to “test” him or catch him in something |
<a name=”reading-answers”></a>Reading Between the Lines: What His Answers Really Mean
Knowing what to ask is only half the equation. The other half is knowing how to interpret his answers.
Men communicate differently than women. Sometimes what he says isn’t as important as how he says it, what he doesn’t say, or how his answer matches his behavior.
Listen for Specificity vs. Vagueness
Specific answers indicate self-awareness and honesty:
- “I learned that I have a tendency to pull away when things get serious, which stems from watching my parents’ divorce as a kid”
Vague answers indicate lack of self-awareness or dishonesty:
- “I don’t know, I guess I learned that relationships are hard”
When answers are vague, dig deeper with follow-up questions. If he still can’t get specific, that’s important information.
Watch for Ownership vs. Victim Language
Ownership sounds like:
- “I realized I contributed to that by…”
- “I didn’t handle that well…”
- “That was my fault because…”
- “I’m working on…”
Victim language sounds like:
- “She made me…”
- “They were all…”
- “People always…”
- “It’s just how I am…”
Men who take ownership can grow. Men who play the victim will blame you for everything.
Notice Emotion vs. Intellectualization
Some men intellectualize emotions rather than actually feeling and processing them. They can talk about feelings in the abstract but struggle to connect with their own emotional experience.
Emotionally connected answers:
- “I felt really hurt when…”
- “It scared me that…”
- “I was angry about…”
Intellectualized answers:
- “Psychologically, what was happening was…”
- “The research shows that…”
- “Theoretically speaking…”
A man who can connect with his emotions will be able to connect with yours. A man who only intellectualizes will make you feel alone even when you’re together.
Check for Consistency Between Words and Behavior
The most important test: Does what he says match what he does?
- He says he values communication but doesn’t respond to texts for days
- He says family is important but never makes time to see them
- He says he’s working on conflict but still explodes when upset
- He says he learned from past relationships but repeats the exact same patterns
When words and actions don’t match, believe the actions.
Listen for Red Flag Phrases
Certain phrases are immediate warning signs:
- “I don’t do drama” (translation: I won’t handle your emotions maturely)
- “I’m brutally honest” (translation: I’m going to be cruel and call it honesty)
- “All my exes were crazy” (translation: I take zero responsibility)
- “I don’t need anyone” (translation: I’m emotionally unavailable)
- “I’m just a nice guy” (translation: I have a victim mentality)
- “Women always…” or “People always…” (translation: I make sweeping generalizations instead of self-reflecting)
These phrases tell you exactly who he is. Believe him.
Pay Attention to Defensiveness
How does he respond when you ask deeper questions?
Non-defensive responses:
- Takes time to think before answering
- Asks clarifying questions
- Shows vulnerability
- Admits when he’s not sure
- Shares honestly even when it’s not flattering
Defensive responses:
- Gets irritated or angry at the question
- Deflects with humor or changes the subject
- Turns the question back on you aggressively
- Gives superficial answers to avoid real reflection
- Makes you feel bad for asking
Defensiveness is one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen of relationship apocalypse. If he can’t handle simple questions in early dating, imagine how he’ll handle real conflict in a relationship.
<a name=”flags”></a>Red Flags vs. Yellow Flags vs. Green Flags
Not all concerning answers are deal-breakers, and not all good answers guarantee success. Let’s break down how to categorize what you’re hearing.
Red Flags: Walk Away Now
These are non-negotiable indicators that this relationship won’t work:
- He blames everyone else for all his problems
- He shows contempt when talking about past partners
- He admits to abusive behavior (even if he says he’s “working on it”)
- He has no close relationships with anyone
- He can’t identify a single thing he’s learned or needs to improve
- He shows zero self-awareness across multiple questions
- He’s defensive or aggressive when you ask normal questions
- His coping mechanisms are destructive (substance abuse, aggression)
- He contradicts himself constantly
- His behavior completely contradicts his words
What to do: End the relationship. Don’t try to fix him, save him, or believe you’ll be the exception. Red flags don’t become green flags over time.
Yellow Flags: Proceed with Caution
These indicate potential concerns that need more investigation:
- He’s just out of a serious relationship (might not be ready)
- He’s overly close to or estranged from family (might indicate boundary issues)
- He’s very rehearsed in his answers (might be performing rather than being authentic)
- He struggles to articulate emotions (might indicate lower emotional intelligence)
- He has some self-awareness but limited growth
- His answers are theoretical but don’t match his behavior yet
- He’s dealing with significant current stress (job loss, health issues)
What to do: Don’t ignore yellow flags, but don’t immediately run either. Pay close attention over the next several dates. Does he show growth? Does behavior start matching words? Do the concerns get worse or better?
Set a mental timeline: If the yellow flag hasn’t resolved or gotten clearer within 4-6 weeks, it’s probably a red flag in disguise.
Green Flags: This Man Has Potential
These indicate he’s likely emotionally ready and capable:
- He takes responsibility for his part in past failures
- He can articulate what he’s learned and how he’s grown
- He shows genuine self-awareness
- He speaks respectfully about past partners (even if the relationships didn’t work)
- He has maintained long-term relationships (friends, family)
- He has healthy coping mechanisms
- His words and behavior are consistent
- He’s genuinely curious about you too
- He shows emotional intelligence and regulation
- He has clear values and lives by them
What to do: Continue investing. Green flags don’t guarantee success, but they indicate this person has the basic capacity for a healthy relationship.
The Crucial Distinction: Patterns vs. Incidents
One red flag answer isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker. Maybe he had a bad day. Maybe you asked the question poorly. Maybe he misunderstood.
But patterns are everything.
If he shows defensiveness once, pay attention. If he shows defensiveness consistently across multiple conversations and situations, that’s his pattern.
Look for patterns:
- Does he consistently blame others?
- Does he repeatedly show lack of self-awareness?
- Are his words consistently misaligned with actions?
- Does he demonstrate the same problematic behavior multiple times?
Patterns predict the future. Incidents might be anomalies.
<a name=”avoid-questions”></a>Questions to Avoid in Early Dating
Just as important as knowing what to ask is knowing what NOT to ask in the early stages of dating.
1. “Where is this going?”
Why to avoid: It’s too soon and creates pressure. You’re still in the information-gathering phase. Asking this before you even know if you like him long-term is premature.
Ask instead: Focus on the seven questions in this article that give you information to decide if there’s a “this” worth going somewhere.
2. “Do you want to get married/have kids?”
Why to avoid: While these are crucial questions eventually, asking them in early dating makes you seem like you’re interviewing for a husband rather than getting to know a person.
Ask instead: “What does a fulfilling relationship look like to you?” will often reveal his thoughts on commitment without putting him on the spot.
3. “Why are you still single?”
Why to avoid: It’s inherently accusatory and makes him defensive. It implies there’s something wrong with being single.
Ask instead: “What have you learned about yourself from being single?” (reframes it positively)
4. “What’s your biggest flaw?”
Why to avoid: It’s too direct and interview-like. Most people will give a canned answer (“I work too hard”) that reveals nothing.
Ask instead: “What’s something you’re working on improving about yourself?” (same information, more conversational)
5. “How much money do you make?”
Why to avoid: It’s tacky and makes you seem more interested in his wallet than who he is.
Ask instead: Pay attention to his financial behaviors, his approach to money, whether he’s responsible. These reveal more than a number.
6. “What’s your biggest fear in relationships?”
Why to avoid: Too heavy too soon. You haven’t built enough trust for this level of vulnerability.
Ask instead: “How do you handle conflict?” gives you insight into his fears without requiring him to be vulnerable before he’s ready.
7. “Are you seeing anyone else?”
Why to avoid: Before you’re exclusive, this creates pressure and makes you seem insecure.
Instead: Have a direct conversation about exclusivity when you’re ready for it, don’t fish for information passive-aggressively.
The General Rule:
Avoid questions that:
- Create pressure or obligation
- Sound like a job interview
- Are accusatory or defensive
- Require vulnerability before trust is established
- Focus on outcomes rather than process
- Make you seem desperate or insecure
<a name=”conclusion”></a>Conclusion: Trust Your Investigation
Let’s bring this all together.
You now have seven powerful questions that will transform your early dating experience:
- “What does a fulfilling relationship look like to you?”
- “What’s something you’re working on improving about yourself?”
- “How do you handle conflict?”
- “What did you learn from your last relationship?”
- “What role do your friends and family play in your life?”
- “What are you most passionate about right now?”
- “How do you recharge when you’re stressed?”
But these questions are more than just conversation starters. They’re a framework for protecting your heart and honoring your time.
The Bigger Truth
Here’s what I really want you to understand: You have the right to gather information before investing your heart.
Too many women feel guilty about “interrogating” men or worry they’re being “too picky” or “closing themselves off to possibilities.”
Let me be clear: Asking thoughtful questions is not being picky. It’s being wise.
You’re not trying to find a perfect man. You’re trying to find a compatible man. Someone with the self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and relational capacity to be a good partner to you specifically.
These questions help you figure that out in weeks rather than months or years.
What Makes This Different
Most dating advice tells you to be mysterious, play hard to get, make him chase you, don’t reveal too much too soon.
This approach is fundamentally different. It’s based on the radical idea that you should actually get to know the person you’re dating rather than playing games.
When you ask these questions:
- You demonstrate that you value substance over surface
- You signal that you’re intentional about relationships
- You create space for genuine connection
- You weed out men who aren’t emotionally ready
- You attract men who appreciate depth and authenticity
The right man will appreciate these questions. He’ll be relieved to have real conversations instead of playing games. He’ll respect that you’re intentional and thoughtful.
The wrong man will get defensive, irritated, or uncomfortable. And that tells you everything you need to know.
Your Investigation Checklist
As you move through early dating, use these questions to create a mental checklist:
✓ Does he show self-awareness?
✓ Can he take responsibility for his actions?
✓ Does he handle conflict maturely?
✓ Has he processed and learned from past relationships?
✓ Does he maintain healthy long-term relationships?
✓ Does he have passions and direction in life?
✓ Does he have healthy coping mechanisms?
If the answer to most of these is yes, you’ve found someone worth investing more time in. If the answer to most is no, you’ve saved yourself months of heartache by discovering it early.
The Permission You Need
I want to give you explicit permission for something: You are allowed to walk away from someone who doesn’t meet your standards.
You don’t need to give him more chances. You don’t need to believe he’ll change. You don’t need to make excuses for red flags because “he has potential” or “he’s going through a hard time.”
The early dating stage is when you’re supposed to be selective. That’s the entire point. You’re not committed yet. You don’t owe him your continued time and attention.
If his answers to these questions reveal someone who isn’t ready, isn’t compatible, or isn’t capable of being the partner you need, it’s okay to move on.
In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s the smartest thing you can do.
What Success Looks Like
When you use these questions effectively, here’s what happens:
You stop wasting time on men who aren’t ready for what you want.
You stop ignoring red flags because you’re hoping things will get better.
You start recognizing green flags and investing in men who actually have the capacity for healthy relationships.
You build genuine connections based on authentic understanding rather than projections and fantasies.
You enter relationships with your eyes open, knowing who you’re choosing and why.
This is what intentional dating looks like. Not games. Not strategy. Just genuine curiosity paired with a commitment to honoring yourself enough to gather the information you need.
Your Next Steps
Here’s what I want you to do:
Save this article. Come back to it before your next date. Review the questions. Think about which ones are most relevant based on where you are in the dating process.
Start with one or two questions rather than trying to ask all seven at once. Get comfortable with asking deeper questions and really listening to the answers.
Pay attention to patterns, not just individual answers. One good answer doesn’t mean everything is perfect. One concerning answer doesn’t necessarily mean run. Look at the overall pattern.
Trust your gut. If something feels off about his answers, even if you can’t articulate why, that’s data. Don’t ignore your intuition.
Don’t settle. There are men out there who can answer these questions with self-awareness, maturity, and authenticity. Don’t waste your time on the ones who can’t.
The Final Word
Dating doesn’t have to be a mystery. You don’t have to guess whether someone is right for you.
You can ask. You can investigate. You can gather real information about who someone is and whether they’re capable of being the partner you need.
These seven questions give you the tools to do exactly that.
Use them wisely. Use them authentically. Use them to protect your heart while opening yourself to genuine connection.
The love you’re looking for is on the other side of intentional, curious, authentic communication.
Now you know exactly how to create it.
Go ask better questions. You deserve better answers.
And most importantly: Trust yourself enough to walk away from the wrong answers and invest in the right ones.
Your future self will thank you for the time you saved and the heartache you avoided by asking the right questions at the right time.
Now go forth and date with intention, wisdom, and the confidence that comes from knowing exactly what you need to know.
