3 Signs You Will Have a Lasting Relationship

The idea of sacrificing everything you have and trusting a man whole-heartedly is more than a little intimidating. It takes a great leap of faith. It’s even more intimidating when you have something to lose. Maybe you’re thinking of breaking up with a so-so boyfriend for a mysterious and romantic stranger who seems to like you. Or maybe you’re thinking of leaving home or changing jobs or states, just to be with the man of your dreams.

But in the back of your mind, you’re still scared to death. What if the relationship doesn’t last? What if it self-destructs? Is it really love or is it infatuation?

Here’s the thing. When you’ve met the right one, you do start to lose that fear of them leaving you. Sure, you may have moments of paranoia from time to time, but overall, the effect he has on you is a positive one. You feel calm. You have peace of mind. You trust him. You try your best to make him happy and he appreciates it. He shows you every day that he’s not going to leave you.

If you still have lingering doubts then take the time to analyze his behavior and look for these positive signs that show you he IS happy and he isn’t going anywhere.

1. He LOVES your extreme opinions—that was what first attracted him.

Believe it or not, according to the newest research couples that like the same things, and especially their “extreme” opinions or reactions to things, stay together longer. This indicates shared values and shared a passion for their life goals. Infatuation seems to attract opposites, but marriage favors mates who share similar views about the world. Religious, political and ethical / lifestyle views tend to cause stronger opinions and sometimes elicit social change. These “strong opinions” fare better when you both feel the same way. When these extreme viewpoints are in direct conflict, obviously this can be very stressful. Opposites may attract at first, but living with a person whom you always fight with, and don’t respect, well that seldom works out!

2. You both realize your self-worth and put forth equal effort into the relationship.

Self-worth is a topic that isn’t frequently discussed, but scientific research shows that when both partners have “equal value” (and more importantly, they see this equal value in each other) they are more likely to stay together for the long-term. They aren’t as threatened by temptations or even by what is known as mate poaching.

When you both realize how much you’re worth—in terms of physical beauty, career or charity work, lifestyle, hobbies, intelligence, humor, and so on—you appreciate each other, regardless of temptations outside the relationship. On the other hand, problems often occur in marriages where there is a mismatch. As in, one partner works and the other doesn’t, or one partner is very good looking and physically active and the other isn’t. Studies show that mate poaching (i.e. stealing someone’s husband) is less likely to work if the poacher doesn’t offer as much value as the wife.

This is why at this blog we give a lot of attention to self-improvement, not mind games. You should be independent. You should be successful in your own right and in your own career, regardless of a man. You should be physically active and dress in a way that attracts men. You should have worthy life goals and be adventurous in life.

Live an exciting life! When you work on yourself you develop this relationship value and guys can sense that. Opposites may attract initially, but in the end, partners with similar characteristics and “equal mate value” seem to last longer.

3. Your partner supports you and always makes you feel good about yourself.

Qualities like loyalty, dependability, warmth, and empathy never go out of style. While a man with high status and money may be desirable, a long-term relationship can’t last on just those factors. A man who is cold, disloyal, mentally abusive or passive aggressive will be hard to live with. It’s just as important to find a man who is mentally stable, emotionally rich and personally reliable even in matters outside of work. Traits of narcissism or aloofness show a lack of maturity; maybe even a serious flaw.

To be sure your man is the real deal and he’s not just FAKING these qualities to get you into bed (or marrying you for selfish reasons), pay attention to the way he treats other people. Does he treat THEM kindly, warmly and with empathy? Or does he reserve his good qualities only for you? How does he treat your family and his own family?

It may seem romantic for a bad boy to lavish praise and kindness on you while scorning the rest of the world. But the rush of a new romance wears off eventually. A man who is kind, warm, and loyal by nature will never stop being who he is.

A long-term relationship is ALWAYS defined by positive emotions and a feeling of safety. Relationships that are hot/cold or dysfunctional seldom last. It’s only a matter of time before one of you leaves. A partner who helps you feel good about yourself, however, that’s the kind of man you want.

He always supports you. He’s adaptable, whenever you want a life change. He loves you enough to follow you, wherever you go. He will make you feel safe and always let you be yourself. He will be your biggest source of security. In return, you will do the same for him. A long-term relationship is based on these positive interactions. Neither partner takes advantage of the other. You’re not slaving for him. He’s not babying you.

This relationship is based on mutual respect. This is how you know if your love will last. So if you can say these things about your boyfriend/husband, as well as yourself, then stop worrying so much. It seems like he’s invested in you for the long-term so get busy enjoying life!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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