10 Best Relationship Books All Women Should Read

Someone asked me recently what relationship books I recommend. Now that’s a tough question because, first of all, I wrote my own book on relationships and the Forever Woman is doing great!  But to be fair, I didn’t come up with this all on my own. I’ve studied a lot and read a lot of other great books. For this blog, I thought I’d list some 10 books that I found helpful for exploring various aspects of relationships.

What are the best relationship books for women? My top picks are The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, and Making Sense of Men by Alison Armstrong. If you’re single and dating, start with It’s Not You by Sara Eckel or The Rules. If you’re in a relationship that feels stuck, start with Hold Me Tight or Getting the Love You Want. Here’s the full list, with what each book teaches.

Looking only for dating books? Here’s my list of the best dating books for women.

1. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman

Such a great read and I still quote this book frequently, since I found the idea of “love languages” to be very true. We all show love differently and want to be shown love in a specific way. This is part of the reason there are so many problems with modern communication, we tend to forget the different “languages” of love.  We need to re-learn this.

2. Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know by  Malcolm Gladwell

This is a great book for early dating, since many people have lost the art of creating conversation with someone they don’t know.  How do you make small talk?  How do you make it sound natural?  How do you get someone shy or suspicious to open up?  It’s a great read if you’ve ever felt socially awkward.

3. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

This is a guide for resolving conflict and problems in the committed relationship. It includes exercises for stopping self-defeating behavior and also tips on how to improve communication. Good read for someone in a relationship who is stressed out but still wants to make things work.

4. For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn

I’ve read a few books from the male perspective of how to date women and “pick up” women and such. So I found the female perspective even more interesting, as it explores the way that women feel about men, and what our “inner lives” consist of.  And yeah, I guess I broke the rule since I’m a guy and read a For Women only book!  But hey, I get it.  And I think it’s great for men to actually get the female perspective and keep a balanced view on things.

5. It’s Not You: 27 Wrong Reasons You’re Still Single by Sara Eckel

This is a good read for women that are single and frustrated at why they can’t seem to find a good man to marry. It’s clever because right away it debunks a lot of the cliches people give, about being too desperate, too picky, etc.  It’s a more practical guide that I found helpful, especially since it goes into more sociological research about what it means to be single vs. being married.

6. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson

Dr. Sue brings what she calls “Emotionally Focused Therapy” to the mainstream, teaching that the best way to save a troubled relationship is to establish a same and deeply emotional connection.  She builds upon this concept with seven conversations for couples to have, along with exercises that can fireproof a relationship and rebuild trust.

7. Making Sense of Men: A Woman’s Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men Paperback by Alison Armstrong

One of my favorite books, as Alison really has a brilliant take on dating, specifically on deconstructing the male psyche and understanding why it is that men date some women for sex and others for love. It also gives you clues to look for on whether a man is falling for you or not. We see eye to eye on a lot of things, so sometimes we end up teaching the same lessons!  But it’s all good, to help people realize that better dating communication is the key to success.

8. The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by  Sherrie Schneider, Ellen Fein

This is an oldie but goodie, one that focuses on how a woman can improve her self-confidence and feel empowered when dating men.  It’s pretty much the female answer to all those “how to pick up girls” guides that men write.  Women should stay strong and appreciate their value, not letting guys manipulate them.  Doing so, she can really find the best quality guys among a quantity of players.

9. Why Don’t You Understand What I’m Saying? A Communication Guide for Men and Women by Tova Feder

Tova is another great writer and Los Angeles therapist that writes for both men and women. Very honest and candid when discussing communication and what can sometimes go wrong.  This is a guide on how to improve a relationship that always seems stressed or confused about what both partners want.

10. The 7 Rules of Dating Rich Men: Learn How to Attract and Marry The Rich Man Who Will Love And Spoil You Forever by  Grace Harper

Finally, this is a very interesting book and don’t just judge it for its title. It’s about how to date a rich guy and I know a lot of you don’t care about money. But I think it’s great advice for ANY relationship, since ideally you want to treat your man the same way, whether or not he’s a millionaire.  You treat him with respect, but you also challenge him, learn him, and do so in ways that no other woman can.  It’s an eye-opening glimpse into the successful male mind, which, believe it or not, is not that entirely different from the average Joe. Men want the same thing. But can you figure out what exactly?  Good read.

In closing, remember that while there are thousands of books on the subject, the most important thing is that the author teaches you the principles of dating and relationships, while also helping you to find your own empowerment. Finding your sense of self-worth and discovering what you want out of life is just as important as learning tips and strategies for dating. Pick up a good book and read something that might change your life.

Quick Answers About Relationship Books for Women

What’s the best dating book for women? For dating, I like Making Sense of Men for understanding how men think, and It’s Not You if you’re tired of being told why you’re still single.

Are dating advice books worth reading? Yes, if you use them to understand yourself and men better, not as a rulebook. Take what fits and leave the rest.

What’s a good book for couples who keep fighting? Hold Me Tight and Getting the Love You Want both give couples real conversations and exercises to work through conflict.

Which book should I read first? The 5 Love Languages. It’s easy to read, and it changes how you see the way you and your partner give and receive love.