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What Men Consider Great Sex (7 Secrets You Need to Know)

What Men Consider Great Sex (7 Secrets You Need to Know)

It seems as if two sex partners are always trying to do the exact opposite of each other during lovemaking: the guy focuses on the woman’s pleasure and she focuses on his pleasure. The end result is that sex does sometimes become awkward.

Men don’t know what women want. Women aren’t sure what men want. The exaggerated and cartoony sex scenes we see in movies and porn aren’t exactly helping the situation either!

This is why I often suggest maybe couples should try doing the opposite sometimes—stop focusing exclusively on pleasuring each other and focus more on receiving pleasure.

I know it’s a taboo to say that you’re “selfish” in bed. No one wants to be known as a selfish lover—i.e. a person who climaxes and doesn’t even care about his or her partner. But that’s not what receiving pleasure is all about.

Receiving pleasure means that although you will please your partner later on, RIGHT NOW you are focusing on getting pleasure. You want to feel good, you want to orgasm, and you want to give your partner the joy of pleasing you. When your “turn” is finished, you will do the same to him and the focus will be his pleasure. This method encourages both partners to stop worrying so much about “mutual pleasure” and instead focus on getting the FULL experience of their partner’s lovemaking.

So the next time you’re in bed with your boyfriend, and if you really want him to think, “Wow she’s the best I’ve ever had!”, then make it your focus to not just let him please you, but to spend some time making his fantasies come true. Here are seven secrets to having great sex from a man’s perspective.

1. A Visual Delight

Men are visual creatures and so the more you stimulate their senses in bed, the better. Men love to gawk at lingerie, full in-the-light nudity, they love watching you in a variety of sexual positions. Men even love the idea of watching a woman masturbate for her own pleasure.

All that’s really required is that you not be shy or unwilling to let him see you, but be enthusiastic about giving him pleasure. In this case, seeing your naked body and being confident in yourself and comfortable in his presence is exactly what turns him on.

Insecurity and shyness is more of a turn off than anything else!

2. Intense Eye Contact

While it’s true that men love doggy style and reverse cowgirl and all those wild positions, the truth is the closer he gets to climax the more he wants to see your face, particularly tight and intense eye contact. Not only does this show your undivided attention, but it also boosts the feeling of intimacy and emotional connection.

3. Excellent Communication

Let’s face it, sex can be an awkward especially if both partners are feeling self-conscious. This is why fine communicators are always much appreciated between the sheets. The secret to sex communication is to keep it POSITIVE and to keep it simple. A man obviously doesn’t want to be criticized if he’s doing something wrong. A better idea is to guide him into doing something you DO want, either by direct statement, question, or even physically pushing or pulling him towards the right spot.

In addition to guidance, be sure to give him enthusiastic feedback too. Keep it sexy by dirty talking, moaning when you feel the urge, and breathing faster as you speak. These are all cues he wants to hear so that he can keep up the pace.

4. Compliments Galore

Men always welcome compliments! Let’s face is, during sex we are very vulnerable. Everyone’s a little self-conscious about their body (assuming you’re not an action hero that makes 20 million per movie!) and so everyone needs that little boost of self-esteem. Compliment everything about your boyfriend—his technique, his body, his face, his voice, butt, penis, you name it, he wants to hear it!

Remember too there’s no need to make everything about “bigger”, especially if he’s average-sized or below average. Sometimes just saying that a man is hard, or that his penis is “beautiful” or “yummy” is enough. There’s no need exaggerate…just keep it simple.

5. An Open Mind

One of the ways a man knows if he’s met the BEST (in terms of sex and a lusty partner) is if she’s open-minded and loves to EXPLORE sexuality—his and hers. Deep down a man loves the idea of a woman who’s open to (almost) anything and who loves to experience something new and kinky.

It’s not always a matter of doing “everything” (especially if it bothers you). But the real joy is in sharing fantasies and opening up emotionally so that you can be honest about what turns you on and what turns him on. Since this is for his pleasure, encourage him to describe his fantasies and then do a little “roleplay” to give him some of his hottest scenarios.

6. A Craving Satisfied

Funny thing about men is that even when they’re focusing on receiving pleasure, they’re still thinking about your orgasm. The very idea of a woman orgasming gives a guy pleasure. That’s why the idea of “good sex” to a man always involves his ability to drive a woman wild and give her the best orgasm she’s ever had.

Stroking his ego, as well as his body, gives him the most pleasure. Don’t just tell him you’re loving the encounter…let him think he’s the best you’ve ever had. You can do this in more subtle ways for a better effect, with your feedback, your enthusiasm, and your willingness to initiate sex. Let him think his smoldering sex pheromones are the reason you’re in the mood. Don’t be shy…attack him in wonderful ways!

7. An Afterglow Encore

Last but not least, don’t forget the afterglow. Men do like to cuddle after sex and most of all, they like to revel in the scene after it’s over. They like to touch, hold, hug and fondle you. Rather than talk too soon about feelings, just express joy and excitement over the experience you shared. He wants to know that you were as wowed by the affair as he was. You don’t know quite what this relationship is…but you want to explore it further!

Keep him happy in bed and he will forget about all temptation. A man desires good sex, not a myriad episodes of bad sex!

Intimate Touch Techniques All Wives Should Know

One of my hallmarks is providing helpful, intimate advice and tips that are not crude, raunchy or damaging to relationships.

To help out husbands and wives, my friend Michael Webb has created a very thorough guide for women to learn how to caress their man in ways that will intoxicate him and bring the biggest grins to their faces.

=> Michael Webb’s Stroke Guide

Your friend and coach,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you are a guy who wishes his wife would be more skilled in this area, be sure to share this resource with her.

 

 

 

 

 

33 thoughts on “What Men Consider Great Sex (7 Secrets You Need to Know)”

  1. Dorothy a geary

    He has no desire to have sex, he will please me but doesnt want anything back. He has said it just happened as he aged, like needing glasses, gaining weight, it’s been 6 months. Hes always very affectionate and talks of future plans..I’m going crazy

    1. As men age, and especially with diabetes and heart issues, they become less sexual. That is how it has been for some men, going way back. They may have never been sexual. Taking so much medication becomes an issue as well.

  2. Have never in my life ever achieve orgasm thru having sex with a man,is there any problem with me or them coz I have always achieve orgasm thru masterbation

    1. The guy I’m with idk if he’s in mood for sex or if he even wants it I speak openly about it but he just hears me out I ask him or even try to get him to but he won’t its all on his time

      My question for you is “ how do I get him to openly tell me what he wants other then I DONT KNOW all the time cause we only have sex 1-2 x a week and we live together but before we moved in it was 1-2x a week how do I get more and him to actually speak up to what he wants

    2. No there is nothing wrong with u. It’s how responsive to man is to u and how much u trust him. You just need to relax and concentrate on your man. It will come..

    3. You and your partner haven’t figured out what works for you. I’d been married for 17yrs, and had 2 children. Never had an orgasm except while masturbating. I met my current husband in 2015. I didn’t orgasm with him until 2016. We discovered that I typically orgasm from him providing oral sex. Now I orgasm at least 95% of the time.

  3. I’ve been with my husband for 21 years, and for the past year now. Sex has almost completely disappeared. We literally have sex if at least once a month. I ask him what’s going on, and he says nothing. I caught him master bating right next to me in our bed when he thought that I was sleep. I confronted him of that, because I felt like. What’s going on I’m right here, but you rather do that and don’t touch me. He couldn’t say anything., but lay there silently with a stupid look on his face. I’m getting sick of it. I’m a very attractive woman in great shape. I have a very nice figure, smart, funny, and just about everything a man would want in a woman. Guys are constantly flirting with me. Some have done it in his face. He gets very upset at them, but still treats me like this. I don’t know what’s going on, but if anyone believes that they may have a clue. Can you please share your thoughts with me?

    1. It’s not u it’s your husband. If you two are in love and everything else is ok he may be having physical issues. Talk to him without judgement. When a man isn’t able to perform like he thinks he should he’s often times just experiencing embarrassment. The desire may still be there but he won’t want to disappoint u so he avoids u. You have a long relationship dont give up…just be patient with him and talk it out. There are things you both can do to revive your sexual relationship.

    2. Kathy dear… you’re not alone in this situation. Me and my husband got married for one year. We had sex four to five times a week when we were five months. But after those five months…. several things had change facing argumentation, jealousness…. that drove our sex lives turn to cold once or twice a week until now.

    3. Kathy, I don’t know if you’ll see this or not since your comment is dated over a year ago. If you have seen this please respond to my post cause I’d like to talk with you about this subject. Thank you

    4. Maybe you guys have to just have play times together or maybe he doesn’t feel like he’s sexy to you anymore or maybe you know men don’t want to go to the Doctor when they having ED talk it over let him know he’s not alone you are by his side let’s go together so he can see the Dr. Let him know that you still love him and you’re in love still❤️

    5. Magoola Irene

      There are many factors that cause such circumstances to happen. Don’t be rude at him, take a break, breathe and focus, get time and ask him if he has time so that you share thoughts calmly on what may be the major problem, after hearing his aspect on the matter then you will be able to make choice of what deserves to be.

  4. I like this topic. I dont have a partner. Some men you can be aggrestive with and some you cant. But how. Do you know when he wants you too?

  5. I love to squit when he does that to me I will do anything for him
    he is number one the whole world thats how I think

  6. I’ve been seeing this guy in secret for 6 months. He has ED so I just give him oral an he loves it, it works that way most times, but hes upset he can’t do the same for me. I tell him I’m fine just giving him pleasure gives me pleasure. we have a good emotional connection to where we can discuss anything almost so far. He told me bout his ED. I only see him during the daytime. i’m just uncomfortable to bare my body. even though he says its fine, he is gentleman an lets me do what i want, hes 11 years older than me . If things weren’t complicated so, we could probably have most the points on your list. I can almost feel how he feels even to the shaking afterward without him touching me. I had shakiness for almost 40 mins after the first time i gave him oral. I’m an enthusiastic giver.

  7. I’m in LDR now, he will only contact me say Hi, I’m just the one want to find a way to talk to him, I give him space in his life. I’m not arguing with him. we were already in the cyber sex conversation after we survived to that, we were talk about the things we want to share in our life, I’m watching him while his cooking and eating dinner, i love him but i don’t know if we feel the same way.

  8. I have been seeing my guy for 5 months and he told me in the beginning he has Ed He pleasures me by oral sex but he does not want me to do the same to him he says he just likes to please me. I just have trouble with this I want him to have the same pleasure that I have. I don’t know what to do
    Becky

  9. Thanks Mathew for the tips. Number 7 doesn’t quite work for my man. He does that not so often. He sleeps off almost immediately…

  10. My Handsone Guy….he is all in to please me and I him….I am 10 yrs older but our sex life is out of this world. He pleases me in everyway. I have been married twice and neither one of those men knew what the hell they were doing. This man I’m with now….he can walk in the room…I can’t catch my breath. If he slightly touches me as he walks by….I can’t catch my breath. And when we have sex its from Beginning to end. Almost everytime….hours of climaxes and our favorite is having that big orgasm at the same time…..takes my whole body to another place. So magical and stimulating at the same time.

  11. Why doesn’t my man of 3years kiss proper kissing on lips tongues and all plus never does oral sex on me but I do to him ?

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