Writing a letter

Anonymous asked 4 years ago

Hi Matthew 
I would really appreciate your thoughts on this letter I want to send.  A hand written letter that I am busy writing.  
Lets me know your thoughts… 
Thanks Matt x
It goes something like this…
Dear Brett
It’s been over 2 months since we were together and I want you to know – As time has passed and I feel Ok about the decision to break up, although I still miss you. 
I’m regretful for the way things ended.  There  were so many dynamics and stresses at play in both our lives and especially yours, with the loss of so many people around you.  I am sorry you had so much to deal with and I wish I could have been there for you more.  I completely admire your courage and bravery to carry on and achieve the goals you set for yourself, I think you’re amazing.
You are not quite out of my head, which is not a bad thing.  I like you in my head and a small piece of my heart.  There were things about you and us that I know would have been unbelievable and that’s probably why it has been harder for me to let go.  I mean – tell me I’m right, I wasn’t blind you are a good person right…That’s why I chose you!  You may be thinking we only dated for 2 and half months, but that’s just the thing it felt like a half opened present.  There is so much more inside and I never saw it and you didn’t see all of me.  (There is a song in there). 
I mentioned to you at our closure “coffee” that I hope I will learn something from this and I have and wanted to share it with you our break up motivated me seek the answers.  You asked me “what do I want from you” and this is what it was…
First, I want Chemistry – you know that feeling when you see another person and want to rip their clothes off and have wild, passionate, intimate sex with them (that was undeniable with you), I want that, but I also want something that you consciously co-create with another human being – a beautiful lasting relationship…that takes Respect, time, loyalty, understanding and love…I want a happy man who will grow with me and bring out the best in each other.  I want to support and eventually love my man.  With you, I may have confused an intense and beautiful chemical reaction with love.  I didn’t expect you to actually be in love with me so soon or to be the father of my kids they already have one.  I had never answered that question the way I wanted to as everything seemed like a whirlwind at that stage.  We moved too fast I think…we should have taken it slower…sometimes I wish I could turn back time (another song)
Anyway, things are looking really good for my career.  Looks like the Film insurance product is a go and I will be developing it with Hollard, so my life will be crazy busy in the next few months…So things have turned there.  Also hopefully by the end of the year you’ll also be wearing a pair of Cliftons.
The last letter I wrote was in 1992, I wanted to write this down…It just feels better and more real.
You may have disconnected emotionally from me and I know you are never friends with your exes, but I want to see you soon, so if you have the courage to, then call me maybe I could kick your butt on the squash court or something, I’m still dying to beat you!
I hope you are healing from the pain of the loss of your father, only time heals.  I know that now!
Love Romy

1 Answers
Matthew Coast Staff answered 4 years ago

Hey Romy,
Thanks for sharing your letter on here. From my viewpoint, it looks pretty good. Really, what matters is that you feel some closure from it.
Just from a coaching standpoint, the letter sounds very neutral… which is good. It doesn’t sound like you have any resentment or are attempting to make him do something. If I received a letter like that from an ex, I would definitely feel good about it.
Everything looks good. I hope he decides that he wants to be your friend. And I hope you’re feeling grounded and strong in your power.
Take care,