Please don't judge, and forgive the long question.

Relationship Questions and AdviceCategory: Make Him Fall in LovePlease don't judge, and forgive the long question.
Anonymous asked 10 months ago

Hello,
Please don’t judge me, I have a very serious question.  My priest has had a crush on me for years.  I know this, because he told my mother (she’s disabled so she lives with me.) how pretty I was.  He was always trying to get my attention.  I wasn’t interested in him, so I behaved indifferently towards him.  Last year was a horrific year full of trauma.  One of those traumas was my health.  My priest, and I started to bond.  I knew that I could never have a relationship with him, but I fell in love, nonetheless.  One day in church something happened, and I knew then and there that he was deeply attracted to me.  It wasn’t anything scandalous, he looked at me like he was getting ready to kiss me.  I turned my head away, he smiled, and said, “Bless you.”.  That moment took my breath away.  Anyhow, while that was going on, I was praying over traumas that kept happening at work.  My boss, and coworkers kept threatening, and harassing me.  What kept me going, was remembering that moment when we almost kissed.  One day the bullying got so bad, I ran to the church just so I could see a caring face.  To my horror, he was mean to me.  I told him my situation, and he acted like he didn’t care.  Things weren’t the same after that.  He would be friendly at times, while others he was cold.  One day I accepted the fact that he didn’t like me anymore, and I started seeing someone.  When I brought him to church, to my surprise, my priest was jealous.  He actually started to cry on the altar.  The guy and I broke up.  I know that the priest is attracted to me still, because I have seen him ogle me, and get erections.  He’d then get mad at me afterwards, like it was my fault.  Well two weeks ago, after inviting me to join a club, he then kicked me out of it, because I didn’t fit in.  I was furious at the time, but now realize that he was right.  These were all old people, and I was in my 30s. I couldn’t relate to them.  The only reason why I joined, was because he was there. Anyway, I told him that he would never see me again.  I’ve never been to church since.  Could he ever miss me?  Rumor has it that the Pope is aiming to eliminate mandatory celibacy with priests.  I was hoping for that.  If there was an attraction, is there hope that he would miss not seeing me?