Not sure what he wants or needs

Relationship Questions and AdviceCategory: CommitmentNot sure what he wants or needs
Cleopatra J Cox asked 3 years ago

I have a male friend and we always had a strong pull towards each other. We had our ups and downs but now that we are both single we decided to just hang out with each other. As time progressed he knew I ultimately want to get married and he wants to have a relationship that is played by ear with no real goal. So as a result we kept it friendly. However, over the last few months it kind of evolved from friends to….wayyy more than friends and its to the point where I dont know what we are. When I asked him what does he want…he said that right now he sees that we are evolving and he wants to see where its going. In my mind I dont mind but I also dont want to invest my life in someone who doesnt want to be with me except for as a friend. …..What exactly is it I am missing?

1 Answers
Tabitha Pratt answered 3 years ago

Lovely Cleopatra,,,
Thank you for your question! And what a loaded question! What ARE you missing? The bigger question may be, what is he looking for in a wife? You may not be showing up as marriage material. No worries, this is a Common booby trap!
The journey from friendship to marriage is a more challenging one than the journey from friend to a friend with benefits. This may be a long journey and it can be filled with land mines, so watch your step!
Typically ladies are better skilled in relationshipville than males and that\\\’s OK! It\\\’s also very okay to understand that guys are slower in making movement into a \\\’relationship\\\’ of substance, especially one that has an \\\” end goal\\\” of marriage. He may need time to process his \\\’feelings\\\’ and figure out what the best course of action to take with you may be. You really want to have an energy that sits deep within yourself, is uber patient, and even pulls back From him a little bit. Not aloof, but rather mysterious. 😉
Allow him the freedom to make his own decisions in his own way- you can also inspire him in a way that may assist him in making this decision. How?
You may respond if it feels good to you., but only respond and accept offers if it feels good.
Also, let him know that you are looking for a husband not FWB. Trust me, it\\\’s a rare woman who performs magical alchemy to turn a FWB into a husband!
Remember, not every one that we have chemistry with is our match. Some deals are bad! And IF you are giving him milk without buying the cow, than, my dear, this is a good deal for him, but a bad deal for you.
I am on your side! Good luck!