my boyfriend is pulling away

cindy asked 3 years ago

My boyfriend and i have been together since october but recently he has started pulling away and not talking like he use to we still talk everyday he just dont say the things he use to and i feel as if he is pulling away he says he just dont want to be hurt again how can i get him to understand that i love him and dont want to hurt him

1 Answers
Tabitha Pratt answered 3 years ago

Hey Cindy, 
The following are a few reasons why men pull away;
They think that you are behaving disrespectfully.
They think that you are too clingy and needy.
They want their freedom.
They want time and space to make decisions regarding your relationship.
They might not think they can please you, make you happy or give you want you desire in the long run.
They might be focused on a project/ business/studies.
They might need to feel manly, and that requires some space from you and being in a more feminine space of love with you. 
With that being said, honey, I can not help but wonder why he said that he ” doesn’t want to get hurt again”? Please realize that a females mouth and use of words can be very hurtful to a male, especially his sensitive ego/pride. Guys can be sensitive to eye rolls, sighs, walking out of the room when he is talking, looking at your phone while he is talking, putting anything above him, speaking highly of other males, pouring water on his ideas, not following his advice when you asked for direction, mistrusting his decisions, undermining or constantly questioning him, cutting him down, not believing in him, talking bad about him to others, criticizing him at all. As our mamas told us; ” if you can’t say anything nice, do not say anything at all.”
Ask him more questions and see if you can draw him out. ask questions from curious its, not from neediness or desperation. You can pull him back in. Begin by admiring his masculine qualities and expressing appreciation for him!
i love you so much!