I’M MARRIED AND MY HUSBAND WITHHOLDS SEX FOR MONTHS AT A TIME. HE SAYS HE HAS ED. BUT WHEN WE DO HAVE SEX THERE ISN’T ANYTHING WRONG WITH HIS DICK. I FEEL LIKE HE ISN’T EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED WITH ME ANYMORE. IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE I’VE BEEN REPLACED. WHAT ARE THE SIGNS HE IS CHEATING? AND HOW DO I GET HIM TO FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH ME?
Hi, thanks for the question. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation.
This may sound harsh but I’m doing you a favor with what I’m about to say. I’m not actually going to answer your questions for a number of reasons. The first is that if you’re looking for signs and signals that a guy is cheating, you can search the internet for that. That’s not what this website is about.
And I have a couple programs which talk about how to gain attraction and love. If you’re interested, check out my Make Him Want You program. But I don’t think that’s the direction you should go…
That’s more for someone who is getting into a relationship or in the early stages of one. Since you’re married, my suggestion is that you take a radically different approach to your situation.
You can spend you time trying to decode whether he’s cheating on you, looking for hints and clues like you’re Sherlock Holmes if you want to. But if he’s good at hiding it, it won’t get you any closer to anything anyway.
And you can go behind his back and find a “make him fall in love with me” program… but then you’ll just be ignoring the real core issue that’s going on in your relationship.
I’m just going to play devil’s advocate for a minute and assume that your hubby is telling the truth and tell you what would be the best way to approach this from here.
I don’t know whether he’s got ED or not… you don’t know… only a doctor can really know that. If you really want to keep this relationship together, which it sounds like you do or you wouldn’t be asking me about how to make him fall in love with you again, stop acting like you’re dating him and start acting like you’re in a loving, long-term relationship together.
If I was struggling with ED, I’d want a wife who would support me as well as make sure that she got her needs taken care of as well.
I’d want her to come to me and say to me, “Hey, I know you said that you have ED. That sounds like a really bad problem. It turns out that its really affecting me as well because I want my loving, hot, sexy husband to make love to me more than once a month.
If you really feel like ED is the problem, let’s go to a doctor and make sure that’s what’s going on. Because if it is, its something that we can solve and work through together.”
Be there for him and the issue that he’s claiming he has. That’s what I’d want my wife to do. And I’m guessing that’s what you’d want your husband to do if you had a problem as well.
If he doesn’t really have an ED problem and he’s saying that because he’s cheating, he definitely won’t want to go to the doctor. But my suggestion is that you don’t make it an option for him.
My suggestion is that you come to this from a loving, nurturing place instead of a distrusting, investigative position. If he’s unwilling to work out his ED problem, let him know that you think he’s cheating on you.
If he claims that he’s not, great. But let him know that the only way your relationship is going to last is through working this out together. And if he’s ready and willing to do that, there’s a lot more possibilities that you can approach this from…
My suggestion is that you avoid the “make him fall in love with me” approach and focus on the “let’s work this out as two partners committed to each other” would.
If he’s willing to work things out, come back to my website and post a new question for me letting me know where you stand and how things are going. If he’s not, you need to decide what to do from there… whether this is something that you can work through by yourself or not.
I’m not a marriage expert. I don’t claim to be and this website is only about the initial stages of a relationship. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned about relationships, its that they don’t work when only one person is committed to it.
Good luck and let me know how things go for you.
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