Relationship Questions and AdviceCategory: CommitmentIs friendship a relationship burden?
Carey A Campbell asked 3 years ago

I am in love with my best friend. He admits that he loves me too. Unfortunately, he is going through a really rough time in his life. He told me the other day that he would rather have me in his life in 20 years by not dating me even though he loves me. He is afraid (although not the words he used) that if our romantic relationship went south that our friendship would as well. Should I remove myself from his life as a friend (seems rather ridiculous to me) or let him know that we have a bond that I think warrants exploring and stress that there is no sense in denying his happiness (he says I am his light) by being too scared to take that leap from best friends to best friends AND lovers?

1 Answers
Tabitha Pratt answered 3 years ago

Thank you for sharing!
If your male BFF can not give you what you want, ask yourself why you are hanging on? He has already told you his thoughts and his decision, yet you want to convince him otherwise. Once you take on convincer role, he will take on resister role. It’s best to accept his decision, let him know that you trust that he knows what is best for the two of you (just staying friends) and then back way off. 
If you can remain friends and only friends, then this is a good deal for the both of you. If you are too emotionally invested in him and the friendship as only friends no longer feels good to you, then take care of yourself and get out of it asap.
I myself, rarely keep friends of the opposite sex because it opens a can of worms like this one. One person is generally more into the other.
Ask yourself if you can stay in this friendship of nothing changes?
I love you so much!