Intergenerational Couple

Jakob asked 2 years ago

I met a man 31 years older than I am on a fling a few months after I had just lost everything. He owned his own small business, lived alone and I felt comfortable enough to move in with him within about 2 weeks. I had pretty much nothing and what he was doing was better and more interesting than staying with my grandmother. The beginning of our relationship was great! We were all over each other, we got along amazingly, everything was on top of the world. Slowly after time our disagreements have come out, the high affection is absent, and there is no chemistry between us anymore. I’ve realized if I settle down with this person, I’ll be left alone to find someone again in my 60’s, that’s a guarantee on the best of terms. I love and care about him, but I’m not in love with him, and I don’t know how to allow myself more independence when I work with/for him, all my income is given to me by him, the bills, rent, car and bank account are in his name and are paid by him. I’ve tried to express my feelings for wanting to do some of my own things or career or moving on a bit but the thing that rings in my head he’s told me is “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”. So I feel like this is probably the best thing I can have and should settle I suppose, paired with the fact I don’t want to be yet an other disappointment in a person’s life who’s lost so much. I’m not sure out of that is supposed to be okay, or what parts I’m just being sensitive on. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just don’t know why I’m not satisfied. We’ve tried talking about it, and taking breaks. I always end up coming back because the situation seems easier or better or something, and always end up feeling the same.