I know I messed u but what should I do now?

Relationship Questions and AdviceCategory: Get My Ex BackI know I messed u but what should I do now?
Coco asked 2 years ago

So I met this guy when I was interning in California through one of our friends. Didn’t know she was setting me up at all. So all of our friends and us were hanging out. Well I guess after that, he told my friend he liked me. So after that he got a hold of my social medias. Then we started talking and after a couple of days, he asked me out on a date. I didn’t know he asked me out on a date because I hadn’t been on a date in 5 years.
So he comes and picks me up from work. Well, he was actually an hour late because his car broke down. He did tell me that. So he gets to my location and I jokingly give him grief about being late. Then for the date, he takes me to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. It seems like a good evening. Our conversations were really awkward but that was because we were both shy or at least for me. Then we split a cheesecake, he leaves to go to the bathroom for 30 mins, leaving me to sit there awkwardly. Then he comes out. 
After that, he took me bowling. I tried to be funny and ask if he wants to make a bet. He says not really. All fine and dandy for me. Then he creams me and as we’re going home, he asks me how the date went. I told him honestly, I didn’t know he asked me out officially on an official date. Then he tells me that he had to ask all his friends what to do because he had never been on a date before. He also told me that he wanted to ask if our bet could be if I won, I would slap him for being an hour late and if he won, he would kiss me. I told him that he could of said that and that I’m a woman of my word. I also told him that this was a better date than what I went on before and how I’ve never had a first kiss before. So he takes me to my apartment and kisses me twice. Then I stupidly and eagerly asked if we could meet before my internship ends and I head back to Arizona. He said yes.
So we try our best to find a day before. Nothing worked so we decided to see each other at my farewell party with our friends. Before this, my best friends from home told me to break it off because I was leaving and it would be better. So I did and he took it well or so I thought but we decided to see each other at the party. Throughout that entire night, I think he tried to sit next to me, but didn’t. Like he would pull up a chair to sit next to me then he would get up and go to another chair. Then I noticed he would order whatever I ordered but without any alcohol if there was. Then my friends were joking of how I was such a lightweight and he said that he would carry me on his shoulders if that happened even though I hate when I’m hoisted up or upside down. Then throughout the night I again notice he would never look at me or talk with me, but to only our friends. He even said that the kinda date we went on girls hate. I kept reassuring him that it was a great date and girls do love those sorts of things and how my friends back hime were kinda jealous I got that type of date. Don’t know if that did anything…? Then after the night was over, he took me back to my apartment and left without saying goodbye. Then he had texted me saying he got home safely and wanted to sit with me, hold my hands, grab me by the waist and kiss me, but thought it wasn’t appropriate since I was leaving. I told him I wanted him to do that but I was too scared he didn’t want that. Then he told if I’m ever back in town, we could maybe, possibly, probably start over. That’s when I think I noticed I had feelings for him and started water works. He never knew about that except one of our friends who called me to yell at me for leaving.
(Sidenote: he even made an instagram post of me before leaving and our date.)
The next morning I had to leave to go home. And he was texting me the entire way saying all these cute things like I’ll miss you, I’ll remember our date and kiss, sharing secrets like his parents’ divorce, me finding out about my health issues of scoliosis, half a heart, inferlity, and telling him how I broke my family’s rule of no bowling on a date because it leads to marriage because everyone did that in my family, etc.
This continued on for a week when I was home. Then his birthday came around and I had sent him a kinda half naked photo of myself and and photo me me doing a kissy face saying I wish I also kissed him the night before I left so I could give him his present. Normal me would never do that in general, just saying. He became very flirty saying that he wanted to kiss me and next time we see each other he was going to give me the biggest hello kiss I ever got.
Then things went down hill. So I guess in California, we had agreed on not doing long distance. I don’t remember this at all or I would have. Well one day I had messaged him asking if we could do this or do this in the future. He said no. I went ballistic on him. I told him that my father was out of my life for 12 years because of the air force and my sister cut contact with me for 10 years when she lived in Australia and how he’s in the army and he’s always away from family and how that’s a sorry ass excuse for a former military brat and soldier. I also said how my friends were all in different countries tries and I talk with them and some have been in 5+ long distance with their boyfriends. He then messaged me to calm down. He said that I was the one who originally called it off. He was willing to see me but timing didn’t work. He told me he cried when I called it off and I was trying not to cry during the party and how when he first did basic training he cried because he couldn’t see his family. An he told me I was freaking out because he stopped being flirty with me even though he knew I’m a super flirty person. Then he said we’re friends.
After that, he stopped contacting me and deleted me off social media. Then two weeks later he readds me and starts replying to my messages. I apologize to him about everything, he forgives me saying we’re friends and how the past is in the past and we don’t speak again.
Then after a couple of months of not talking, I told him that I was visiting in March for 2 weeks and would like to see him. He told me he’s going to do pilot training so that wouldn’t work. Then last month, one of my friends wrote a horrible post about how he condones rape culture. I told him and showed him the post my friend said and he kept asking me what I thought of it and its not what he meant and how my friend was crazy, how we doxed him and that he would block her. None of my friends liked him so seeing a comment he made that made her write a post about him set her off which is why she went to deliberately do this. Also, last month, I accidentally send him a text instead of my other friend saying if everything goes as planned, I’m moving back to California in January 2019. Didn’t realize I sent him this until I saw his name. He then replied nice and how there’s a lot to do in California but the price of living is high and the laws there suck and how it is $600-1000+ for a good apartment. Kinda surprised he even replied.
Then on Thanksgiving he told me that he was in Sedona, AZ but that’s 4 hours from where I’m at. So I told him that it was too far for me if this is what he was implying and to hike the red rocks and check out Chapel Hill. 5 days past and I asked him how he liked Sedona. He said he loved it, they hiked the red rocks but didn’t go to chapel.
So from this long post, my question is: what should I do? Did I screw this up badly? Is there even a second chance if I do go back?

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