Anonymous asked 5 years ago

I have been divorced for 7 and a half years now, I have a son that’s 8 & half years old & haven’t been in any serious relationship since then. There have been a few guys that have been interested in me but are not willing to be in a committed relationship with me and only want a casual hook up. What have I been doin wrong? Am I sending them the wrong signals?

1 Answers
Matthew Coast Staff answered 5 years ago

Hi, thanks for your question.
There are two possibilities of what is going on here. The first possibility is that you’re just appealing to men physically (sexually) but not emotionally.
If you’ve read much of my stuff, you know that there is a big difference between physical and emotional attraction.
Physical attraction is when a guy wants to hook up with you. Emotional attraction is when a guy feels like he wants something more with you.
You need both of these if you want men to want something more with you. Fortunately, you seem to have the first one down, which is great. Some women have trouble with both.
What this means is that you need to develop a deeper connection with these guys if you want them to desire more from you.
The key here is to find out what’s going on with these men… not just the superficial but also who they want to become in their lives.
You need to make them feel like they have a space to be a man for you. And you need to be someone who they can see themselves being with in the long term. If you can do that, lots of men will want a commitment with you.
If you need help with this, I have some products you can take a look at. Also, make sure you’re subscribed to my dating tips email newsletter and take a look at my blog posts. I cover this topic more in there as well.
The second possibility is that you’re just meeting a bunch of guys who still haven’t healed and matured themselves to the point where they’re ready for a long term relationship yet.
Maybe they’re recently out of a relationship where they felt hurt or they’ve never faced their past to heal themselves. It could be that these guys simply haven’t experienced enough in their lives to be at a place where they’re looking for something serious.
There are many possibilities on why this is. None of them actually matter.
If this is the case, you need to start meeting more men. You need to find higher quality men… men who have their lives put together more.
There are a lot of men out there who want commitments. As I have pointed out in other materials, over 2.3 million men get married each year in the United States alone.
Men wanting to commit isn’t the problem. You just need to find them.
That’s it… it’s either because you aren’t connecting with men deeply enough or you’re not meeting enough quality men in general. It’s unlikely that you’re sending the wrong signals.
Just make sure you don’t get involved in anything that goes against what you want for yourself. Because attempting to change a man is nearly impossible.