We’ve all been there. We get tired of all the dating games, the clubs, and the Tinder apps. We just want to fall in love and find a committed relationship.
You find someone you like and the relationship progresses. Great! Things start to look up…
But then wham! You get the speech, the one where he says “I don’t think this is working.”
Or maybe he says it differently. Maybe you should both see other people. Maybe you’re moving too fast.
Or maybe he just friend-zones you entirely, not seeing any serious relationship potential.
You decided he was the one. But he decided otherwise. It’s devastating.
Now you just want him back.
If only you could “move on” the way everyone says you should. It’s easy for them to say so, right? You’re the one in pain. You’re the one with heartbreak.
But here’s the truth. Everything DOES happen for a reason. You weren’t expecting that, were you?
Not Fate, But Truth
No, I’m not saying that you were destined to be with someone else. We all have free will and the gift of choice and we can be thankful for that.
But the truth is that when you get romantically involved with a person who is not compatible with you in personality and lifestyle, the relationship is on borrowed time. Maybe it’s not “fated” to end, but you’re constantly running uphill, aren’t you?
Trying to save the relationship. Trying to persuade him that he loves you. Trying to pretend that this forced love is somehow real happiness.
Eventually, your patience runs out. Or his runs out. Usually, both partners come to that realization at the worst time. Bitter words are exchanged. You fight, you cry, and you both come to the conclusion that it has to end.
It feels like a tragedy, like a defeat, maybe even a failure.
But you know the saddest truth of all? This relationship was doomed from the start. The chemistry was good, the sex was good, the romance and the bonding, all good!
In the end, that’s not enough to save a relationship. Why? Because your lives were too different. Your values, your goals, your personalities, were not a good match. This is sadly the story of many relationships. Good at first, promising, but MISMATCHED.
At least when it comes to the important stuff. It’s heartbreaking to have to learn that and even harder to accept that. You want it to work. You give it your all.
When it ends, you’re left with feelings of confusion and heartache.
You Tried But You Didn’t Fail
Your first instinct is usually to say, “We almost made it work…we came so close. I really loved him and tried so hard to make him happy!”
If only you had done things differently. If only you had tried a little harder…
But these are lies we tell ourselves because we’re still in mourning. There was nothing that could have saved the relationship. You could not have tried any harder than you did. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t even his fault.
The only truth is that the two of you were not compatible with each other. Sometimes it takes a month to realize this…sometimes years.
What’s remarkable, however, is how much you learned in the relationship. That’s the part that a lot of grieving people overlook. Relationships are never a waste of time because we learn things.
This relationship taught you a lot of things. About yourself. About what you want in a partner, what you want out of life. What you don’t want anymore. What you cherish the most in a lover and friend.
This is the progress you’ve made.
It’s time to reward yourself and give yourself some credit. You did try. You did grow. This was all progress that you made and you can take that with you. Having lived through the relationship you couldn’t make work, now you know what you’re capable of. You know what you want and what you don’t want. You know what you can give to someone who deserves you.
In other words, you know your value and next time, you’re not going to make the same mistakes.
Don’t Stop Trusting People
Another instinct you might have is to stop trusting people, figuring that one or two bad relationships is enough and it’s time to retire. It’s understandable why people give up. But it’s not practical and it’s not being fair to yourself.
If anything, this gives too much power to your ex. You put so much faith in him. You give up on everyone else, on life, but you still focus on him as the object of your affection – or very often your hatred. You start to blame every man for your ex’s failures.
Not only is it unfair to a lot of good single men out there, it’s not fair to yourself. Don’t deprive yourself of the gift of life and happiness, by holding on to wounds of the past.
Remember, if you stop trusting people, then every evil ex you ever had will win. It’s not your victory, but your defeat. You can rise above all that negativity and win – by not treating these old relationships as mistakes – but as learning experiences.
Open your heart and don’t let the bitterness overtake you. You deserve happiness. And you will wait until someone you find someone deserving of your time.
If You Love Him, Let Him Go – And Focus On You!
In closing, remember that sometimes it’s true what they say – if you do love a person you have to let them go. You must let them be free, even if it hurts. Because that’s what he wants and there’s no sense in trying to trap him in a relationship he has taken for granted.
He made a choice, to end it, and the last act of love you have for him is to let him go. Better yet, don’t be bitter about it. Don’t let him control you by staying angry or letting him occupy some part of your mind.
You gave him everything he wanted. Now, it’s time to give yourself some attention. Be kind to yourself. You deserve better. You’ve always deserved better. It’s time to focus on finding what makes you happy. Find a life that completes you, not just a man.
When you find a life that you can be proud of, and a new man that loves you dearly, that’s when you can truly say – “He was not the one…and I’ve moved on.”
The #1 Thing That Prevents You From Getting Over a Man And Moving On…
After working with hundreds of thousands of women in their dating and relationship lives, helping women get out of toxic situations and move on to healthy relationships where they’re loved and cherished…
I’ve determined that there’s one difference between women who feel strong, happy, and whole after a breakup and women who can’t seem to move on no matter how hard they try.
It’s something that I now called, “Stuck On Your Ex Syndrome”…
And it determines how quickly you move on from a man or whether you stay stuck on him for weeks, months, or even years.
Click here to learn more about it <<
There are 5 mistakes that you can make that prevent you from getting over a guy and give you Stuck On Your Ex Syndrome.
And if you want to get over a guy and get over him fast, you need to make sure you’re not making any of these 5 mistakes.
Click here to discover the mistakes <<
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. I helped a woman who was still stuck on her ex after 7 years of being apart from him…
She even married a new man but couldn’t get over her ex from years ago.
I helped her let go of him in just under a week and a half.
You CAN let go of a man if he isn’t right for you.
Thanks it’s very educative
What if your values, your personalities and everything was great for 6 years and he decides out of the blue he doesn’t love you after you thought you had a future together? I am truly broken and have been crying and in a horrible state for 5 months.
Thnks mathew