How to Get Your Ex Back By Texting (Get Your Ex To Obsess Over You By Sending Text Messages!)

If you and your ex left each other on bad terms, it’s possible that he will lay low and not contact you for a long period of time. Is this a bad sign? Not necessarily. He may think he’s doing the right thing by allowing you to live your life without harassment from him. Or he may just need time to get over the pain and move on in life.

And assuming that you’ve taken my advice and just stopped all contact for a while, I think it’s perfectly reasonably for you to make first contact. Now the timing has to be right. I think a minimum of a few months should pass before you approach him at all.

Some women wait longer, perhaps a year or more. I’m not saying that’s a hard rule. But I do believe that SOME time should pass before you even think about contacting him.

First, because he needs some time alone. Second, YOU need some time alone. You need to detox from him and start focusing on reclaiming your independence and your confidence.

But thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, you need to give him the gift of missing you. If he misses you, if you’re NOT in his life and talking to him every day, he will miss that interaction where he felt safe, important, and trusted. He will want that again.

So one of the best ways to reach out to him in a safe way is to send a text message. This is a great starting point for getting your ex back because words can be powerful. You can get back on his good side, back “inside his heart”, which means that special place where he still has love for you.

It’s very possible he still has feelings for you or is even in love with you. It’s time to get his attention and carefully draw his emotions out one step at a time.

Let’s discuss four types of texts that will make him obsess over you.

This is a MUST for those early conversations. Deep down he WANTS to stay friends but is scared to death of you sending him a bunch of hysterical, emotional or angry texts. You have to show him that you’re in complete control of your emotions. In fact, show him that you’re STRONGER than he is and that you accept the relationship is completely over. But after that, show him that you still want to be friends.

Remove all negativity from your posts. Be fun, funny, positive, helpful or even matter-of-fact. You could make a joke, talk about positive-goings on in life or career, or even pass along useful information that you know he would appreciate.

Just make sure that all negative emotion is gone. This lets him feel safe to be himself and express himself freely.

(Remember if you have already said something emotional or negative, you can apologize and quickly remove all the emotion from your new texts. It’s not too late to show him that you are making progress and no longer fixated on him)

It’s also important to avoid any “small talk” or any forced conversation that makes him think you NEED to talk to him. He can’t get any sense of that desperation if this is going to work.

2. Exciting Event Text

You know how Facebook and Instagram always have “events” or stories going on? Hey, that strategy works. People like “events”…and so will your ex! One of the best ways to start a safe and fun conversation is by talking about something that’s happening. Preferably something fun, like a new movie release you’re both excited about, or a band coming to town, or anything else that you might have told your boyfriend in a typical day.

He will be eager to respond to this, maybe even thankful that you brought it to his attention. After the “event” text you can even tell him that you “remembered how much he liked them” or something to that effect. This shows that you still think of him, even though you remain emotionally neutral as we discussed.

The conversation can continue naturally, but remember that you should end it first. You can say something kind like “I hope you’re doing well”, which makes sure the conversation doesn’t go on too long. It also makes you look confident. Needing his attention constantly, and trying to keep the conversation going even when there’s nothing left to say, is what he’s afraid of. That’s why it’s important you end the conversation first.

Now the more you stick to event texts, humor, and other positive text, the more you should him that you’re fine being just friends and nothing more. That usually gets a BIG reaction from a guy, especially if he’s still in love with you. Controlling your emotions and not responding to end of the relationship makes him realize that it’s really over this time. And now he’s left with a memory of how things used to be and how they’re never going to be that way again.

NOW he misses you. Now he’s a little more motivated to flirt with you and make you fall in love with him all over again. You reverse the process of trying to win him back. You let HIM win YOU back and he’s a lot happier.

3. The Remember Text

The next step is to give him just a SMALL HINT that you may still have feelings for him. Control your emotions as before…but this time give him a good reminder. Let him know that something he said or something you saw reminded you of a positive experience you had when you were with him. For example:

“Remember that time we visited Myrtle Beach? What was the name of that great restaurant we tried? I kind of want to bring my friend.”

This message works great and on three different levels:

• It lets him smile over the past and the GOOD memories you had together, which he remember so well. He thinks, “Wow that was good…we used to be so good together.”
• You ask a question, indicating you’re NOT obsessing over it or trying to play him. You’re just thinking back and talking naturally like an ex who has moved on. He senses that things really are over.
• You mention taking someone else there. Now he feels threatened by the idea of you sharing all these positive memories with someone else. Why? Obviously because he wants those memories for himself! And he’s slowly realizing he wants you back.

4. Remind him, ever so subtly, that he can still make you happy.

There may come a time when you sense he wants you back. Rather than accept him back too quickly, instead use this strategy. Simply acknowledge that he really can make you happy. Say something like “I was just watching a movie…and I remember that you always used to quote it. I started giggling and no one understood why.”

This message rewards him for all the good behavior he’s given (and hopefully by now some hint that he wants you back). At the same time, you still CONTOL your emotions, not giving into him, nor are you making the first move by trying to persuade him to take you back.

What all these texts have in common is that they are all very positive. Remove all the negative memories and sad emotions that he associates with you from the old relationship. Show him this is a new you and that you’ve grown up.

At first he will be proud of you. But the more time you spend texting and talking, the more he will realize he still has feelings for you…and there’s still time to win you back!