Healing Your Heart - The First Step to Having the Relationship You Want
When most women come to me seeking advice, they're looking to change the way they communicate with men thinking that this will solve all of their problems in their relationship.
And sometimes, that's all they need... a new way to express themselves with a man.
But often, there's a deeper trauma that needs to be healed inside her heart if she wants to attract the man and the relationship she's been searching for.
Back when I was a men's dating coach, many times I would have a woman come out with me and the guys I was coaching to help the guys feel more comfortable when they were approaching women.
Emily was one of our "wing women" who used to come with us...
She was in her mid- 20's, slightly overweight but very attractive woman with a sarcastic personality and a lively spirit.
But Emily used to always complain to me that guys never hit on her.
Knowing guys and looking at her, I had my doubts...
So, one day, I decided to test out her complain by taking her to a club where I KNEW she was get hit on.
We went to downtown Denver to this club that had a long walkway from the front of the club to the back, basically like something out a modeling runway event...
When we got to the club, I walked a few feet in front of her and we went from one side of the club to the other.
And as I predicted, guys started hitting on her. They'd come up and try to talk to her... they'd dance up on her... they'd try to get in her way and start talking to her...
And Emily was having none of it! She pushed guys out of her way, told one of them to F-off... and basically rejected every guy who made some lame attempt to approach her.
When we got to the other end of the club, I turned and look at her and said... "I thought you said guys don't hit on you..."
She looked at me confused, "They don't!"
Emily had NO IDEA that guys were even hitting on her.
She had a belief system that prevented her from recognizing that guys were interested... instead, she thought they "messing with" her or making fun of her.
Her beliefs have taught her that she doesn't deserve the love that she so desperately wants in her life.
And as long as she has these beliefs, she'll continue to sabotage her ability to attract and keep a man in her life.
In order to free herself from this self-sabotage, she has to heal her heart and open herself to a new way of thinking... to a new belief system that gives her what she wants instead of pushing what she wants away.