Why does he stay?

Mama827

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 17, 2021
Messages
1
Almost 8 years ago I met this guy online and from day one he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship. Over this time we have been intimate off and on during this time! Not to mention been involved with others as well. My question is I have been trying so long to be something with him by helping him with different things. 4 years into this whatever it is he had another kid with another girl. Me being crushed and hurt I ended up giving up thinking I would have another kid and had a hysterectomy. He has been staying with me off and on so long I just can’t myself to give up on him! I keep telling myself I love him but I’m not sure if I can say I’m in love tho. Why does he keep staying with me and coming to me? Remind you we both still talking to others. I’m confused why I keep letting him come back and forth being none of my family and some friends don’t like him!
 

dminor

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
2
You are trauma bonded. He is using intermittent reinforcement by coming and going. He leaves, your devastated...he comes back, your elated. The highs and lows of this relationship keep you from endin it. He keeps coming back simply because you let him. You have supply that he needs....sex, emotional, financial
 

Newanna

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
16
I understand if you like him. But sometimes men react to you being too available. Is he only having a child with one woman or with several? Maybe he has many things on his mind? I am going through something similar with one whom I earlier chatted three years. But he in march admitted to me that he had got a child with someone last year. Their relationship isnt the very best. He sits up at a datingsite when she and the child has gone to bed. I know cause I am at that datingsite. He can be at the datingsite until three in the morning. Anyway I feel I cant reach him like before.. I have tried not to be too demanding. Earlier he was the very sweetest guy! But now I feel that he has changed. There is something with life that he doesnt currently like. He has three children alltoghether with two women I think. Maybe somebody has a Clue how to reach a man in these types of situations if one still has a reliable interest for him. Or is the only alternative to let time tell or to "give up" on him?
 
Top