Side chick

Kathleen

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 1, 2021
Messages
2
My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost two years. We were grade school friends, then later we each were married to our spouses for 30 years (we are in our 50s), and our kids played together. We bumped in to each other from time to time. We got together romantically when we seemed to have so much in common, and were getting divorced at the same time. Our kids are grown, we each work full time, and it is great!

He always proudly introduces me as his girlfriend, I have met his entire family, many coworkers, sports teammates, and last year he bought me a ring.

The question is, he has a married "friend"/workout partner who has never liked me. After numerous stories and lies, I have found out over time that they have been intimate and have continued to sext and sneak a visit in once in a while. This apparently started before I came into his life. I have confronted him and he will say he can live without her, and has stopped going to the gym with her and the rest of their fitness class. He will block her at my request on social media, for a time, but eventually I will see a text that is sexual in nature. It always starts up again.

His family tells me that he may be BiPolar, I have not spoken of this with him. I believe that he loves me. There is much that he does not like about her. We compliment each other so well, in every way. We are both so invested in each other by now. I don't know how to keep him, but get rid of her.
 

brendab

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
4
The best thing you can do all around...unless you want to share him (and some women do) but, if you want a relationship with one man...

Walk away.

Men do not value us when we put up with bad behavior. It doesn't matter if he's bi-polar or not.

If you put up with this, he'll keep doing it while losing respect for you and men are ALL about respect.

You're only chance is to walk away...this will give him the reality check that you love yourself more than the relationship (you HAVE to!) which will raise your value in his eyes.

Men value things they have to earn. If he can't earn you, and you just give yourself to him like this it will be a bunch of drama. IF he realizes he values you and works to earn you you MAY stand a chance.

You deserve the best. Value yourself.
 

ThatGirl

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 1, 2021
Messages
12
I fully agree with brendab on this one! Walk away. If he had a mind to respect you and be loyal, walking away will do get him back on track. If he didn't, better that you not sink a bunch of time into it first.
 

Kathleen

Newbie Queen
Joined
Sep 1, 2021
Messages
2
We are about to celebrate our two years of dating, and have been living together for more than a year. His grandkids are mine too now. I don't know how to "lean back" and do my own thing when we have this routine every day of dinner after work, visits with our same friends (we went to school together and started out with the same friends). How can I walk away when he lives in my house and considers it his own (I wanted him to feel ownership, he cleans and maintains it as if it were his, because he lives here and takes pride)?

I feel there has been progress and he has friend-zoned her. She seems to still push, but he says he has blocked her on Social Media and his phone, and ignores her when she finds another way to contact him. In the past he relents and will finally return a text. He is telling me now since our last fight, that he will maintain no contact. I haven't checked his phone.
 
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