If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Why is he so upset? Did I say the wrong thing?” then rest assured, it’s NOT just paranoia. It means you take your relationship seriously.
You don’t want to lose him. You know he’s a great guy and maybe he’s a little sensitive sometimes. If you notice then that he seems a little miffed lately, it’s good to be concerned. It’s good to want to talk it over and see what’s bothering him.
Because I tell you this – there is no such thing as a man “made of steel”, a man who can take punishment and never complain. Every man has a threshold.
And yes, there are at least nine awful things you should never say to a man, at least, if you don’t want to lose him. Don’t believe me? Let’s review each statement and discuss why they violate his trust.
1. “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
This is just about the end of a relationship, whenever you tell a man that his efforts are wasted. Whether it’s “I’m not in love,” or “I was never in love with you”, or “I’m slowly losing all the love I have for you” or any variation, it’s something you cannot take back. A man wants to be loved. As soon as he learns his best is not enough, it’s over.
2. “You’re not a real man.”
Attacking his manhood in any way (yes, including but not limited to his penis) is an act of war. A man’s pride is directly tied in with how “manly” he is. Manliness is usually associated with strength, ability, willpower, and his devotion to you and the family. Once you start attacking his manliness, his ability to be a man, or his lack of masculinity or sex appeal, he will give up. No man wants to come home to a woman who doesn’t respect him.
3. “I used to love it when [my ex] used to…”
You’ll eventually have to broach the subject of your ex and when that happens, walk a fine line between saying the bare minimum (facts, mainly) and insulting your ex (which your man can tolerate in limited doses.
But you notice I didn’t say, “Tell him what you loved about your ex”? No, it’s a losing battle. Men can’t help but compare themselves to your ex. Just bringing up his name is a daring thing to do. Talking favorably about your ex puts the question of “Why didn’t you marry him then?” into his mind and that’s just a bomb waiting to go off.
4. “Your mother is a @#$%.”
Attacking a man’s mother (or father, or really any family member he loves) is not only a low blow – it’s could be a passive-aggressive form of abuse. You just don’t criticize someone that your guy loves. You can talk about ways to help, or problems that come up. But always make sure to show respect to your boyfriend’s family.
5. “I settled for you…I could have done way better.”
This is just about as heinous as saying, “I never loved you.” Speaking about your man as if you’re disappointed with your life and how you ended up with him instead of a “successful guy” is a little bit too much honesty.
First, you never settle on a guy you don’t truly love. Second, telling him so just shatters his entire world – the good feeling he once had about being your most beloved is gone.
6. “I’ve slept with a lot of guys, lol!”
I know this might be a controversial one because slut-shaming is a bad thing and we all know that. But I just think it’s too dangerous a move to talk about the past or any of your old relationships that never worked out. No good can come from talking about your ex anyway. Revealing to your boyfriend that you’ve had “many, many” exes is just asking for a fight.
It’s discreet and classy to just not talk about exes as if they were numbers. If he asks, politely let him know you don’t play that game.
7. “My honest opinion? I don’t think you can do this.”
While it’s not as bad as saying, “I don’t love you”, letting your guy know that you don’t believe in him, don’t support his dreams, and don’t think he can accomplish his goals in life is still pretty nasty.
Another variation of this might be, “You could be so successful if you just…”
This goes back to the basic idea: why would you be with someone you don’t respect? Why be with someone you don’t believe in and admire?
A man must feel that you’re on his side and that you believe in his ability and his vision. If you don’t give him that support, he will eventually replace you with someone who does.
8. “Oh just stop. You have no idea what you’re doing.”
Yeah I think you can guess what this is about. Criticizing or laughing at a man’s sexual prowess is just asking for trouble. True, it’s not the worst thing you can say, but it’s just one of those things you know is going to end badly.
If you have legitimate complaints about sex, ALWAYS present your ideas in a positive way. As in, “Wouldn’t it be fun if you…” He’ll be motivated to try new things if you give him a boost of confidence.
9. “[My crush] is so awesome! You should be more like…”
He might be okay if you have a crush or two, but avoid going into too much detail or comparing your crush to him. Men do get jealous very easily! Just go by this standard – if you admit you find another guy attractive, also give him ten compliments as to why he’s better. That will butter up his ego and he’ll remember that he’s the one you love – not anyone else.
The reason I wanted to write this blog is to let you know that I’ve seen it happen. Marriages that you think are doing fine. And then bam, someone steps out of line and says something they can never take back.
Oh sure, you won’t get instantly divorced over a sentence. But it’s the attitude that matters. The thoughts, the feelings, the horrible sensation of being violated and having all that trust between you disappear. And the love slowly dies.
Days will pass and your partner will remember every awful thing you ever said. You will remember every awful thing he ever said too. That’s the way it works when someone you love violates trust.
The relationship changes and the dynamic we once loved and felt comfort in disappears forever. Don’t let them happen to you. Always show respect and demand the same respect from him. As long as you both respect each other, you won’t be losing your temper and saying something you can’t take back.
You’ll work it out. You’ll both find a way to make things right because your love is too precious to treat so haphazardly. You love each other too much to make it hurt.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
