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7 Things You Should Tell Your Man Every Day

Many women buy into the philosophy that you shouldn’t spoil your man…the more you thank him and ask him nicely, the more he’ll resent you. But if you put him to work and keep playing hard to get that this will endear him to you.

As usual, the truth is a little more complicated than that. Yes, it’s true that if you’re a pushover, many men will eventually start to take advantage of you. Some may even lose respect for you if they sense you’re needy or dependent on them.

However, treating a man like a mean boss or hired help (you know, the pool boy, wink wink) is not the right way to go either.

Men do want assurances and they do want love. But they want it expressed in a very particular way, one that rewards their personal effort more than just “being nice.” Here are seven nice things you should tell your man every day if you want to keep him faithful and happy in the relationship.

1. “Thank you for…, or, I appreciate you…, doing that thing.”

Expressing thanks and appreciation IS a big deal because a man will silently stew and eventually boil over in rage if he works hard for no gratitude. However, rather than thank him for everything he does, express sincere appreciation for when he does something specific for you. Whether it’s a tiny little gift, or doing you a big favor, or buying something that the family really needed, all of these things deserve your attention and your appreciation. Men are born to please women and they do need that assurance, even for the little things they do in just one day.

2. “What’s been on your mind?”

This is a variation of “how was your day?” which is a bit over-used, to the point where a man just auto-respond, “Good, Good Day.” This question is open-ended, which challenges him to share what happened today, or even better, what he’s been thinking about all day. Oftentimes men will have “average days” where nothing memorable happens. However, he may have had an exciting new thought and that’s what you’re interested in hearing.

3. “I’m not sure…what do you think?”

An independent woman doesn’t need a man’s approval or his solution. That’s why it’s always a breath of fresh air, when a woman wants a man’s opinion, or expertise, on a certain matter. By asking him his opinion, you let him know that you value his wisdom and that you take his views into account. You may or may not use his ideas, but asking him for his opinion allows him to talk openly and share his feelings. Getting your man to talk, at least one long conversation every day is always a win.

4. “I miss you.”

Whoah, hold on. Isn’t this statement a bit needy? Nah, not really. You’re not actually saying that your life is falling apart. Rather, you’re just letting him know that you really do appreciate his company and things are always happier when you’re together. This is a great thing to say over the phone or via text message. It lets him know you’re thinking about him and that you crave intimate conversation. Something that will inspire him to share when you are united later on.

5. “I love THIS about you.”

“I love you” is a given. The problem is that it’s so overused it’s almost an obligatory response as someone leaves the room. Why not be much more specific and actually tell your man what you love about him? The more subtle you are, the better. Focus on what he does for you, or even just what quirks he has going day by day. Do you notice something sexy that he does while getting dressed? Or do you notice something sweet he does for you before he leaves the house? It’s okay to tell him you love these little things about him. It reminds him of just how close the two of you are. If you can’t think of anything specific, compliment his intelligence, his sense of humor, and other qualities that he has that are not so obvious.

6. “That hurt my feelings.” Or, “I’m sorry I said that.”

You’re bound to rub each other the wrong way sometimes but the worst thing you can do is to just let it slide…repeatedly…and not actually bring about any positive change. It’s okay to let him know if and when he hurts your feelings. This brings about a sincere apology…and just as important, he learns what hurts you and avoids saying anything too similar. At the same time, apologizing if you hurt his feelings lets him know that you’re trying to make this relationship work and learning what his boundaries are so that he never feels disrespected.

7. “I want this…not that. Please do this!”

Believe it or not, telling a man exactly what you want is not a sin. It’s not mentioned in the ten commandments and it’s not against the golden rule. Actually, telling a man exactly what you want is a much-appreciated gesture since…(you guessed it!) a man usually doesn’t know what you’re thinking or what you want him to do.

So while it might seem to you that you’re dropping a pretty big hint, most of the time the guy is just not picking up on it. It may be frustrating to spell out every detail but sometimes honesty and explicit instructions really do work best. This refers not only to sex, but in running errands, in emotional cues, in financial management, and in day to day living. If something bothers you, don’t let it fester. Talk about it openly and ask (nicely!) your man to start taking care of this problem. It’s so much more efficient to tell him what you want rather than hoping he figures it out.

Tell him these things often, even every day, and your relationship will improve. Communication is what makes relationships last a lifetime!

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Then just use them on ANY man in your life…

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You can thank me later!

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. You’ll be the first thing he thinks about in the morning…

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27 thoughts on “7 Things You Should Tell Your Man Every Day”

  1. Thank you Matthew. I really appreciate you and how you write. I find that your advice really works. I love how you put so much out free for us as well.
    Thank you for your wonderful generosity from a grateful lady in Australia.
    Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to you and your family.
    Love Dianne

  2. This is great advice, especially since women would like all of these too! Relationships are a two way street and women need this same assurance and appreciation as well. Thank you for sharing !

    1. Hi darling . It’s you that must teach him , what you want . Men when fall in love , become so flexible , only to keep you for themself , if he is really The Mr . Right , make Him as you wish

  3. Thank you Mathew…this is great advice. I am in a long distant relationship which we are now into our 2nd year. I was finding it hard to know what to discuss over our messaging and webcam meetings. Your advice has open my eyes, heart and soul to knowing how to make it work better and bring us closer. Some unfortunate circumstances have caused both of us to be unable to meet yet. We do plan our meeting within the new year ahead. Your videos etc. have helped me immensely.

  4. Hi Matthew,
    I have some questions . I been dating with this guy on and off for a year now and he hasn’t saying anything about I love you and he only calls me when he wants sex. So I don’t know what kind a relationship I’m into?
    Thank you Matthew.
    Very sincerely
    Kimly.

    1. I’m sorry to say this but it sounds like you are only a butty call to him. Drop him and find someone that respects and loves you.

  5. Jagdish Vasantlal Jariwala

    Keep words, deed, and thoughts under Divine wisdom. Most of the problems are created by the wrong words used in communication.

  6. Thank you Mathew I went only husband’s phone and to my surprise he has been doing u so now IAM I love your advice my husband and I have been together for 38 years and for the past 5 I feel I’m loading h and it is the safest feeling I have ever felt . I feel so alone but thanks to u . U have taught me so much I’m just hoping it’s of to late . Thank you so much I will keep reading and learning from u vickigilbert

  7. Hi matt. I’m currently in a relationship but how do I not read into things about my relationship with my guy. Like he says to me I’m always questioning his love for me. And I don’t want to feel I’m pushing him away. Which I know if I keep doing this I know I will I want him closer to me. How do I stop all of this. I love my guy very much. But I need help to not be to insecure and be more confident he says he loves me. If he didn’t love me he would tell me he says. But do I just go with the flow and take each day as it comes. Is there any teniques I could try to make me feel more at ease in my relationship with my guy. Its the last thing I want is to push him away thankyou. Hope to hear from you.

  8. In my experience, u cant tell a man alota good stuff. They start thinking they can take u for granted. U tell them they r handsome and they get the big head.It can actually run them off, the more distant a woman becomes, the more they chase and adore. Men are strange hard creatures to understand.

    1. I kind of agree with you. I seen it happen when they run off when we give them more attention. The issue is, the ones you tell that too and don’t run off, those are the mature keepers. They are the ones that don’t play games. I learned people are in your life who want to be in it and the ones that aren’t just let them go. You will truly see who wants to be around and who doesn’t.

  9. Dear Matthew, I have been in a long distance relationship for five months. Covid caused of course. I really have deep feelings for this guy but I am very aware of the many cons out there, especially for older women. I have tried to investigate and ask relevant questions but in spite of everything I still don’t feel that I know if this is real or not. Any advice that you can give me would be much appreciated. Regards Joan

  10. Matthew,
    Just getting going in my new “old” relationship (we dated in high school / first love for both of us – 40 years ago). But you #7 “I want this/not that….please do this” just happened and I was so surprised by his response. I didn’t even realize I was doing that, but his response told me I had. We have been emailing A LOT!! and I told him the other day what I needed to hear from him (basically amp up the flirting 🙂 ) and was told “For a man on his second marriage with a few other relationships under his belt, I’m pretty clueless sometimes about what you need. I appreciate your straight talk.”

  11. Ii haven’t dated for 1 1/12 he seems really nice we been dating about 3wks and he’s already telling me he loves me. That’s really scary compared to the other relationships I’ve had that didn’t work out.

  12. Hello Matthew,

    I just wanted to say Thank you for emails you send out. I love hearing what you have to say, when I open my email, and see one from you. I can’t help but open it. Thank you so much for the inspiring words, it always makes me feel good that I am not alone in these situations. I’m finding the more I learn about these things, the more guy’s are interested in getting to know me. Well, Thank you again for the good advise.

    Much love,
    Rachel Byrd

  13. My fiancé is away right now but will be home soon (hope he will be home for Christmas), that would be the best gift ever. I just sent him the list; he was so pleased to receive it. Thank you for all your wonderful works and great advice. Matthew, you are the best at what you do. Merry Christmas to you and have a safe and wonderful Happy New Year.

  14. Hello matthew. Thx for advice but my husband is adictator some how . Most times evenif i thank him he doesn’t respond and most times we dont agree on certain things

  15. I love all of these & they all come natural to me. I’ve met a man recently who is so open & says many of these things to me too… naturally. It’s so refreshing to be treated deserving & to give the best of me deserving too. Thx Matthew!

  16. Wow what an amazing things to tell your man everyday for him to know you have him in mind am happy am learning from the best teacher Matthew you are wonderful

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