Everything was going great. He was laughing, he was flirting, he was definitely into you. But all of a sudden, he went from hot to cold. Everything about him changed. Now he seems distracted, unsure of what he wants. Maybe even a little terrified.
What gives? Is something bothering him? Is he maybe afraid of just how much he loves you?
Hmm…maybe. But let’s be honest. It could also be that he’s just not that into you anymore and he doesn’t know how to say that politely.
Is there a way to say it politely? Probably not…no wonder we rely so much on body language!
Did you know, however, that many of these negative signs are not just physical or vocal? It’s not all in a man’s face. What you should be looking for are behavioral patterns that suggest he’s just not that into you. You may find that the combination of cold gestures, as well as clear behavioral signals, are conveying one simple message: I’m not interested in you anymore. (But I’m trying to be nice)
Let’s review five of the most obvious signals that men send, which are, to women, not always that obvious.
1. He takes his time answering you.
Whereas a guy that’s interested in you usually replies within minutes (or seconds if he’s lurking around online) a man that has lost interest in you will usually take his sweet time returning your text/call. He may even go days without responding, either because he doesn’t want to give you mixed signals that he’s interested, or because he simply forgot to respond. As in, the conversation wasn’t that interesting to him.
Yes, maybe you want to make excuses for why men are slow to respond…but let’s face it. If he’s not courteous enough to respond to calls and messages, he’s sending a very clear signal. You’re not a priority in his life.
2. He doesn’t want you anywhere near his family.
A man who loves you will slowly but surely want to include you in his network of friends and family. He may be shy at first, but gradually he will introduce you to his parents, friends, family, and colleagues. He knows that as things get serious in the relationship, these worlds have to meet.
Now, a man who’s just not into you will do the opposite. He will keep you far away from his family, friends, and workmates. He almost seems embarrassed to be seen with you at various social functions. He doesn’t want to meet your family or friends either. All the attention he’s given you so far has been strictly “in the moment”, whether a one night stand he regrets, or just a conversation that went nowhere. You can always tell how serious a relationship is by how well you connect with his “network” of people. Haven’t even been introduced yet? That means he’s keeping you far away from his heart as well.
3. He seems far more alive and joyful…when he’s paying attention to other women.
Many men may having “roving eyes”, but you can definitely tell when a man is fawning over someone else—and right in front of you! He probably doesn’t even hide his attractions because he doesn’t consider you a serious dating partner. He may talk about other women to you, initiate contact with new women (or his ex), or just disappear whenever you suggest getting together. He’s focused on pursuing other romantic interests. He may not give you an honest “rejection”, but it’s clear that he’s only using you for sex or as a “standby girlfriend” by the way he treats you compared to others.
4. He uses approximately…NO WORDS to describe how he feels about you.
Here’s the funny thing about men who are in love. They will always find words. They will either write poetry, sing songs or at least express themselves in a heartfelt and passionate way. They want to win you over. They want to impress you with their conversational skills.
Now, a man who’s NOT in love tends to be more ambiguous when he describes how he feels about you. He may allude to being your friend and he may make you laugh. He may even talk to you for a long while. But what does he say? Does he make it clear how he feels about you? Or does he leave you with very vague feelings or obscure descriptions of how he feels about you?
It’s possible that some guys are shy and will not come across as dashing and romantic. But here’s the thing about shy guys. They still try. They may sound awkward and use confusing dialog, but they still pay attention to you. Physically, they always respond to you, with their adoring eyes, bashful smile and by pointing their body towards you.
A man who’s really not interested will not try that hard. He gives vague descriptions of what he wants because he doesn’t want anything from you. Or maybe he doesn’t even understand how he feels about you. But one thing’s for sure: he’s not giving you any signals. None. His silence, his unwillingness to try to sweet talk you, sends a strong signal of disinterest.
5. Every conversation with him seems one-sided.
It’s easy to get carried away in romantic fantasies. The strong silent guy who’s breaking inside, head over heels in love with you. If only he could come out and say it. If only circumstances were different.
Yeah…but the problem is, every conversation you seem to have with him is the same: you do all the talking and he simply responds. Lazily. One word answers. Smiley faces. Or maybe he talks to you like a friend, like one of the guys. But the conversation is still one-sided, in that you take the initiative to approach him. He treats you like a therapist, discussing his problems. But he never quite gives you the reassurance you crave, that there’s “something” between the two of you.
Furthermore, he doesn’t seem to show any jealousy at all when you talk about other guys, or when other guys talk to you. He’s just not invested in you.
It’s devastating when you realize that a man you really like isn’t interested. But as you begin to notice patterns, see his circle of friends and family, and analyze his relationship dating history, you may discover that you don’t “fit” his lifestyle. He has a type and he always makes it clear when he feels a continuing attraction.
Yes, this realization hurts at first. But let him go. Don’t beg for his favor or try to force him to like you. It’s just a mismatch and these happen far more often than we like to admit. Focus on self-improvement and on attracting the right kind of man who will appreciate you for being you!
This makes him see you as the One Special Woman in his life…
If you’re struggling with a man who plays “hot and cold,” is slipping away, or taking you for granted…
And you want him to see you as “the one special woman” in his life…
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This one thing makes a man feel an irresistible desire to pursue you…
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Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
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Yes darling i so much agree with some of ur points on this most especially one sided conversation. he makes me feel like he has no wards for me as well as taking his time when it comes to responding to my massage.so I can testify on your analysis
I want to meet a someone who feels the same way about me i do about them, i believe i found that man but its hard to tell. If im being selfish and not giving him time or just trying to live a fantasy.
That’s me,
Iv been seeing a guy on and off for nearly 1 and a half years. I knew from the start he is a very ambitious worker. He does insane hours every day every week. But I feel like he doesn’t like me as much I like him. Like I said he is a very busy business man who wants to succeed in life but I just am confused like should he still fit me in more in his life or is he really that busy as he is very slow and getting back to me in messages or calls but when we do see each other we catch up on what we both have been doing ect and when we see each other it’s amazing and we chat and cuddles loads and Iv met his friends like so that must be a good thing like. Oh I don’t know. Can you give me advice.
This man wants to keep his options open. No man is that busy. A man who loves you and wants to invest in you will find the time. The most valuable thing to a man is his time. If you aren’t a priority, then step back and don’t chase him. Your absence will either make him realize if he has feelings for you or not. Men like to have a few friends around when they don’t want a commitment to have an excuse to escape from you. When he makes you a priority then you start to make him one too . Love yourself and take care of yourself first.
Yes…
That’s me too
I have been seeing this man for at least 5 years it’s only once usually on the weekend have changed days around occasionally he pays when we go out all the time we got on really well to begin with the sex is amazing but he said about friendship in the beginning and says my girlfriend now I would like to move things on to some commitment but he’s not very great at communication so sometimes I’m wondering if he’s just to unreliable or not still interested enough to make the effort does make time but not an awful lot we only go out for food usually then back to his he was long distance before and made more effort moved just down the road from me we still meet up but have to wonder what he does do all week with his time as never says other than been working I want to go places see things do things but he doesn’t much so I do them but sometimes just want the company or wondering if this is even a relationship or more a friendship?
Yes dear he takes time or day before he response to my massages. If i asked he is busy at work. But first he comes me in morning when going to work,afternoon break time and in evening. All he has stop.
What are you saying
How do I know if a guy isn’t interested in me through text???
He never finds the time for you. Is my experience. Let’s face it. A man will do anything to be with the one he loves.
I had a man tell me once. If a man wants you. No obstacles.
A man adores you. He does about anything.
He wil move a mountain to be with you. If a man down to a few texts here and there . calls. He not interested. The end. I do not care what he says ladies..
I’ve been dating this guy for 10 yrs. We both agree we don’t want to get married. But suddenly when I moved in, he was acting like his my landlord n I’m a renter. Very distant. I have a feeling his txting this girl at work n his ex wife. He would return their txt asap while he takes time returning mind. I finally ended the relationship but why do I feel that we belong together??
yes when the calls stop and the texts stop it’s over. lost love. or was it ever real love??? I thought it was but now I’m no longer sure.
I tell him I’m moving since he wa ts to sleep on his own bed have sex every 3 days gets mad when he says I’m with others I think it’s the other way doesnt want me to go but he is not himself and doesnt seem to care about my needs then all of a sudden he does I am confused
I’ve bin with my husband 20 years now we got married 5 years ago and since our wedding nite he hasn’t bin bed he sleeps downstairs, he works all the hours god sends we don’t speak unless he wants to talk about his female work mates
Then go get your own life and happiness. He can’t make you a nobody unless you let him. No one has that say over you, your body, your mind, your soul or your spirit. He doesn’t have that kind of power, sweetheart, unless you hand it over to him freely. Hope this helps
Really like this guy, known for years, feels so right, like it’s meant to be and that he’s the one. Read the article and out of points 1-5 probably the latter two are partially valid, what can I do abs how can I fix this please? I really want to be with him and not be a case of the one I liked got away….
I had a guy who I thought was really in to me for two weeks…………..then he broke up with me, telling me some lame reason. I didn’t even know what he was talking about. I was devastated……….
What if the only thing is I haven’t met family and friends after almost 6 months? He does have it declared in his divorce papers that he’s not allowed to introduce anyone to his kids until after a year. Plus his kids suffered a bit from the divorce and are in therapy. He has told me since the beginning that his bff’s wife is still friendly with his ex and she Nd the kids go there. Not sure if I should take this as a red flag or just be patient. Otherwise he seems totally into me.
How do you if a guy you been talkin to online havent met yet is lyin to you
That’s what I would like to know. I am going through the same thing right now.
He’ll be very inconsistent.
Always do a background check. Go to Intellius online. They usually have a trial period which is inexpensive then you can cancel the subscription,BUT it’s very useful and can help possibly keep you safe.You can also do an upgrade to obtain criminal background as well.
how do you have your relationship go back to normal after catching your girlfriend of 5 years cheating. she keeps saying shes not talking to anyone else or anything like that but my mind is still making me think she is what do I do. help me please.
She didn’t do anything to you. She did this to herself. You aren’t the reason she has inner voids she needs to fill because of past traumas. After one time of the occurrence, you should have made it clear you will not tolerate the behavior. You make the choice of staying or leaving. This person who cheated needs help , not you. Obviously this person doesn’t respect or love you the way you want, so decide to let go and move on. They aren’t thinking of you and your needs when they’re too busy being selfish to fill their voids and needs that don’t include you and are insensitive to your needs.
It’s going to take a while to trust her again bcuz it really hurt you and put a dent into the relationship. You’re always going to feel she’s lying and cheating. You just have to be willing to forgive if you want to save the relationship and give her a chance to redeem herself, BUT you can’t continuously persecute her everytime you feel some kind of way. It’s not going to be easy. You both have to communicate and be honest about ya’ll relationship and what ya’ll need from each other to move forward.
We are living in an ultra sensitive culture with relationships. People are traumatized because of people and their ideals of what a relationship should be. This is un genuine when you have to act or say things in a certain way to attract anyone. Just be yourself. You can’t make anyone or force anyone to love and accept you. Know your own worth. Love yourself first and stop being needy or desperate. The right person doesn’t need all this to fall in love with you. You have to turn things around and ask yourself “ Is this man worthy of me?” , not the other way around. Don’t chase no one. Let it flow and if it’s meant to be it will be. Namaste.
All so true he just abandoned me after 1 year of making plans 2 weeks of nothing from him
What if I lost interest in him already and don’t care if he loves me or if he don’t anymore he’s fake and mentally abusive and I just don’t want him any more
Please just move on.If he’s mentally abusive that’s about 5 red flags right there. Save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache and mental stress. I wish you peace and blessings.
Iv known this guy since 2019 We started dating but he wanted sex on a few dates. Im shy nd bit conservative nd wanted to wait until i got to know him we stepped back a bit but kept in touch. We started dating last year october. We have only seen each other like 5 tyms. He always say he wants to meet but then backs down the last minute always busy business. He only chats wen i message ndif i had to call hes always busy. I feel as though its just for a sexual encounter wen it suits him. Otherwise he got no tym for me. Pls advise
Buh bye.
Good riddance.
I was seeing this guy for almost 5 months. At first I was treated like I was loved appreciated and number one. Then I ended up begging to be priority his time and he was always broke. We had 2 times we went out to dinner. I really got sick of this. The arguments became the norm. It was always tit for tat. I finally broke it off. Took the ring back and returned it which I allowed him to put on my credit card thank god they took it back. I don’t have love for him anymore and he is begging for another chance. Please help. My mind says no and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore and made it clear.
It’s going to take a while to trust her again bcuz it really hurt you and put a dent into the relationship. You’re always going to feel she’s lying and cheating. You just have to be willing to forgive if you want to save the relationship and give her a chance to redeem herself, BUT you can’t continuously persecute her everytime you feel some kind of way. It’s not going to be easy. You both have to communicate and be honest about ya’ll relationship and what ya’ll need from each other to move forward.
Always do a background check. Go to Intellius online. They usually have a trial period which is inexpensive then you can cancel the subscription,BUT it’s very useful and can help possibly keep you safe.You can also do an upgrade to obtain criminal background as well.