5 Signs He’s Not Into You Anymore

Everything was going great. He was laughing, he was flirting, he was definitely into you. But all of a sudden, he went from hot to cold. Everything about him changed. Now he seems distracted, unsure of what he wants. Maybe even a little terrified.

What gives? Is something bothering him? Is he maybe afraid of just how much he loves you?

Hmm…maybe. But let’s be honest. It could also be that he’s just not that into you anymore and he doesn’t know how to say that politely.

Is there a way to say it politely? Probably not…no wonder we rely so much on body language!

Did you know, however, that many of these negative signs are not just physical or vocal? It’s not all in a man’s face. What you should be looking for are behavioral patterns that suggest he’s just not that into you. You may find that the combination of cold gestures, as well as clear behavioral signals, are conveying one simple message: I’m not interested in you anymore. (But I’m trying to be nice)

Let’s review five of the most obvious signals that men send, which are, to women, not always that obvious.

1. He takes his time answering you.

Whereas a guy that’s interested in you usually replies within minutes (or seconds if he’s lurking around online) a man that has lost interest in you will usually take his sweet time returning your text/call. He may even go days without responding, either because he doesn’t want to give you mixed signals that he’s interested, or because he simply forgot to respond. As in, the conversation wasn’t that interesting to him.

Yes, maybe you want to make excuses for why men are slow to respond…but let’s face it. If he’s not courteous enough to respond to calls and messages, he’s sending a very clear signal. You’re not a priority in his life.

2. He doesn’t want you anywhere near his family.

A man who loves you will slowly but surely want to include you in his network of friends and family. He may be shy at first, but gradually he will introduce you to his parents, friends, family, and colleagues. He knows that as things get serious in the relationship, these worlds have to meet.

Now, a man who’s just not into you will do the opposite. He will keep you far away from his family, friends, and workmates. He almost seems embarrassed to be seen with you at various social functions. He doesn’t want to meet your family or friends either. All the attention he’s given you so far has been strictly “in the moment”, whether a one night stand he regrets, or just a conversation that went nowhere. You can always tell how serious a relationship is by how well you connect with his “network” of people. Haven’t even been introduced yet? That means he’s keeping you far away from his heart as well.

3. He seems far more alive and joyful…when he’s paying attention to other women.

Many men may having “roving eyes”, but you can definitely tell when a man is fawning over someone else—and right in front of you! He probably doesn’t even hide his attractions because he doesn’t consider you a serious dating partner. He may talk about other women to you, initiate contact with new women (or his ex), or just disappear whenever you suggest getting together. He’s focused on pursuing other romantic interests. He may not give you an honest “rejection”, but it’s clear that he’s only using you for sex or as a “standby girlfriend” by the way he treats you compared to others.

4. He uses approximately…NO WORDS to describe how he feels about you.

Here’s the funny thing about men who are in love. They will always find words. They will either write poetry, sing songs or at least express themselves in a heartfelt and passionate way. They want to win you over. They want to impress you with their conversational skills.

Now, a man who’s NOT in love tends to be more ambiguous when he describes how he feels about you. He may allude to being your friend and he may make you laugh. He may even talk to you for a long while. But what does he say? Does he make it clear how he feels about you? Or does he leave you with very vague feelings or obscure descriptions of how he feels about you?

It’s possible that some guys are shy and will not come across as dashing and romantic. But here’s the thing about shy guys. They still try. They may sound awkward and use confusing dialog, but they still pay attention to you. Physically, they always respond to you, with their adoring eyes, bashful smile and by pointing their body towards you.

A man who’s really not interested will not try that hard. He gives vague descriptions of what he wants because he doesn’t want anything from you. Or maybe he doesn’t even understand how he feels about you. But one thing’s for sure: he’s not giving you any signals. None. His silence, his unwillingness to try to sweet talk you, sends a strong signal of disinterest.

5. Every conversation with him seems one-sided.

It’s easy to get carried away in romantic fantasies. The strong silent guy who’s breaking inside, head over heels in love with you. If only he could come out and say it. If only circumstances were different.

Yeah…but the problem is, every conversation you seem to have with him is the same: you do all the talking and he simply responds. Lazily. One word answers. Smiley faces. Or maybe he talks to you like a friend, like one of the guys. But the conversation is still one-sided, in that you take the initiative to approach him. He treats you like a therapist, discussing his problems. But he never quite gives you the reassurance you crave, that there’s “something” between the two of you.

Furthermore, he doesn’t seem to show any jealousy at all when you talk about other guys, or when other guys talk to you. He’s just not invested in you.

It’s devastating when you realize that a man you really like isn’t interested. But as you begin to notice patterns, see his circle of friends and family, and analyze his relationship dating history, you may discover that you don’t “fit” his lifestyle. He has a type and he always makes it clear when he feels a continuing attraction.

Yes, this realization hurts at first. But let him go. Don’t beg for his favor or try to force him to like you. It’s just a mismatch and these happen far more often than we like to admit. Focus on self-improvement and on attracting the right kind of man who will appreciate you for being you!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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