There’s Love…and then there’s living together! Growing up, sometimes we think that infatuation, love, living together, and being happily married are all the same thing. Yeah, it’s great when that happens…but statistically speaking, it’s really hard to find that perfect relationship without making a few mistakes along the way!
As you date, learn to trust other people, and finally learn yourself, you may be surprised at what you find out. Namely, that you can love someone but NOT live with them. That you can be infatuated, magnetically drawn to a man, and yet not love him. And that you may even be able to live with a man but still not have a strong love for him that ends with marriage and family.
Sound complicated? It’s not. It simply means that life experience must help each one of us to understand the different shades of love. Sometimes caring for someone isn’t enough.
Meanwhile, as you learn to better understand what love is and what you want, so also will other people be figuring you out. Men will try to figure out what motivates you, what you find attractive, and what you want from a serious relationship.
Now it gets even more confusing…because how are you supposed to know when a man is falling for you, rather than just trying to have a fling? For that matter, how are you supposed to know when a man is actually in love with you versus just liking you?
Let’s make it easy by reviewing four signs of male behavior that show he really loves you and illustrates the difference between attracted to, like and love.
1. Love: He is more than happy to provide for you.
Men are providers by nature, so when their heart is in something, they really go the distance, to quote Hercules. Love motivates them to try harder, to provide for the woman they love. He doesn’t complain because providing for you makes him happy. It’s service he gives willingly because he’s falling in love.
In contrast, a man who likes you is more interested in getting to know you, than actually providing for you. He hasn’t committed to you yet, so obviously, he’s not going to be bending over backward to please you. He takes relationships seriously and knows that more time is required.
A man who is merely attracted to you is mostly interested in checking you out and creating superficial conversation. He may eventually like you, but for now, the goal is to get him more curious about you by showing yourself to be special and well beyond the “ordinary” single woman.
2. Love: He pays attention, he learns you, and he notices little things that others miss.
A man in love isn’t just giving you undivided attention—he’s watching you and paying close attention to what you actually say. He wants to learn you and wants to understand who you are. He probably sees the little things about you that other guys miss, such as the way you treat people, how others feel when they talk to you, how you think and how you speak, how you deal with emotions, and how you communicate. He remembers important details too because he wants to understand your lifestyle.
A man who likes you isn’t nearly as attentive…in fact, he will probably talk about himself a lot in the beginning in hopes of impressing you. As time goes on, he may ask questions about you, but he will still not retain as much information as a man who’s falling for you.
A man that merely feels attraction will play games, wait for a chance to talk, do rehearsed material, and flirt mindlessly. Even when he asks you questions, you can tell he’s not really listening. He’s just trying to wow you with his charm. See the difference?
3. Love: He is there for you even when it’s inconvenient.
Practically all men who like you or just desire you will do the same thing: they will give you attention on their own terms. They will chase you as long as it’s convenient. They will give as long as they get something in return—even if it’s just flirting. A man who loves you loves you even when it’s inconvenient.
He’s the man who makes sacrifices, even great sacrifices because he wants to see you happy. He doesn’t mind helping you in an emergency. He’s there when you need someone to talk to. More than that, he meets you on your terms, rather than insisting you meet him on his terms. You can tell he loves you because of his willingness to support you and put your interests ahead of his own.
Most men simply won’t go this far if they don’t feel love. They’ll lose patience, chase someone else, or demand too much in the relationship. Most guys have a “line” they won’t cross—a point where they don’t want to get hurt, or they don’t want to invest too much in something they don’t believe in 100 percent. The man who loves you will go past that line and not give up at the first test.
4. Love: He is already making you a part of his life—not trying to mold you into something better.
Love means that he wants to bring you into his life—friends, family, routines, lifestyle, everything! You fit him very well and so he’s proud to have you accompany him as he goes about his days, nights and weekends. He also wants to become a part of your life and so will patiently go and see how you live. No complaints, just interaction and appreciation.
This is why lifestyle compatibility is so important because it influences the way we treat our partners. A man in love will embrace your hobbies, support your career, and most importantly find compromises so that you can both be happy with your future goals. He includes you in important conversations and tells you everything—not because of obligation but because he enjoys sharing news with you and getting your opinion.
He includes you in all his future plans because frankly, he can’t imagine a future without you!
A guy who doesn’t know you or like you may hesitate before he combines both worlds of his “real life” and the persona he puts on for you. A man who’s interested in you, but not really committed, will also shy away from conversations about commitment.
As you can see, a man in love is characterized by his patience, endurance and “never give up” attitude. He chases you longer and fights harder for you because he loves the connection you share. In his mind, he’s thinking he can’t let you go because he’s never had a relationship so intimate and so honest.
Men who are in love don’t just say it—they SHOW it, each and every time!
What if “true love” could happen in four, simple steps?
Too good to be true? That’s what I thought, too.
Until I heard this story about an old woman from Prague…
When you think about lasting, life-long love… when you imagine passion that burns for decades… when you dream about a man who adores you…
… You probably don’t think about cobblestone streets in Eastern Europe. Or scientists with beakers and white lab coats.
But this weird story from Prague may be the secret to love that never ends. See for yourself:
If you’ve ever wanted your man to worship the ground you walk on, this is worth ten minutes of your time.
(I couldn’t put it down.)
Just click here for details:
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
i agree with this
because have seen all the above signs in him…………..
am even loving him more
Thank you for opening my eyes.I really see that in him…Sometimes when he starts convos i was thinking that he’s bothering me unnecessarily.Now i’m happy about him effort to show me how much he loves me.✊❤
Can I have get some advice from you guys,
I got a men friend I who I have like for a while since we met up with again I only see him sometimes the second time I met up with him I did a sexually act with him I don’t I was any good because I haven’t sexual contract for a while due things that have happened to me we have put in text want to do to each
Wawoo thnx wat about for women
Thanks for letting me understand now am so happy, all the qualities u showed he is having I taught he was not serious and not in love with me but thanks alot
What if he exhibits some from a couple different of those plus sometimes I wonder if he isn’t exhibiting narcissistic traits?? He provides for me % and will buy my kids whatever they want..but can be, should say try to be very controlling. And sometimes what he wants or preferences must come first or he’s seems a little childish. I usually can talk to him about it but I still don’t know why he asks this way.
Run, don’t walk away from him. I married a narcissist and you do not want Togo there. Nor do you want to take your children there. I didn’t figure it out until too late.
Go now while you can get away.
Thank you so very much for explaining the difference between men who are truly falling in love with me and the men who are fake with there intentions to me. I truly know that the man in with actually loves me for real and the other men that I used to have a relationship with were just using me for there own selfish needs.
My baby?daddy is the same way his birth sign is an aries. Hes 56 years old and plays those same games.
“Is an Aries” speaks volumes. They are intense.
I know that he really loves me…but why I feeling like he wants to do things that aren’t too good for our relationship? Or I’m the one to crossing that line ?
I’m talking about..the other day after taking all of us for breakfast and shopping paying for all, he took us home and he said ill be back going to a game with friends; I said ok no pro get fun! But it was 1:00pm,
When he left, and then was 8:00pm o’clock I texted him, called him, no response that’s when I begin to thinking terrible.!Am I exaggerated, obsessed, crazy woman or I’m right?
I was married to a football coach for 30 years. He was gone a lot with the guys. Men need space away from women. Seven hours is not that long. A football game can take several hours, then they all go out to eat and drink. If he isn’t back by 10 or 11, I might be worried. If he disappears without telling you, I’d worry. If he texts someone a lot, I’d worry. If he didn’t devote special time to me, I’d worry. Let him know when he is gone for that long, you’d appreciate a text. Tell him, “Send me a silly photo of you and the guys so I know you are safe. Then I won’t have pictures in my head of you in a car wreck, or something.
Better take a close look at your situation. A man who does stuff like you described is trying to make up for what he is doing behind your back.
Right!
You’re not crazy
I really get it now thank u so much n I might need to learn more of it,
Thank you
What should I do,I like him but we have not yet meet up in person.
Am learning alot thank you
Thanks so much. It’s an eye opener to me. I was rite breaking up my last relationship.
I like this. Its so awesome
thank you sir. he loves me but I don’t feel in love with him what i am gonna do because he is close friends.
He loves me but I can’t love him am afraid to told him I can’t love him what can I do?
Where has honesty gone? It”s very DIFFICULT to trust someone who is not honest. LOVE DESERVES THE TRUTH.
Trust can’t be accomplished if there is dishonesty in the relationship. Without trust there is no love.
Thanks so much Mathew for this info, it’s an eye opener. The difference between attractions, likes and real love.
so what if the man u are seeing send all the signals but then pulls back .he keeps blowing hot and cold .should I walk and hope he follows or keep trying
I have a question I live with a guy who says we are not together but he acts like we are I do everything for him and our money gets put together we have sex and we do stuff together he says he loves me but he says we are not together I need help to understand what I can do to get him to call me his
Hunny he’s taking you for a ride
Why would he say he’s not with you
That’s very strange I’d have a good hard think about that one
Thank you so much for confirming where my relationship with Ron is going. He is showing all of the signs of starting to fall Iove with me. It has been so good between us.
We both say we love each other. However, he will not introduce me to his daughters(25 and 18) or his friends who he’s known since childhood. His ex wife is remarried and he’s been divorced for 6 years. He’s never introduced any women to his children because he’s never had a serious relationship since his divorce. His friends and their wives all hang out with his ex and their kids all kind of grew up together and are friends too. We’ve been together now for over a year. He wants to wait for the right time to let me meet his daughters. He comes to my house every other weekend and sometimes during the week and stays over. He’s a good dad and says his younger daughter is sensitive and didn’t take the divorce well. He lives down the street from his ex and the girls come and go as they please between homes. Am I being overly sensitive that he wants to wait to introduce me until just before the 18 year old goes to college? He wants to spend as much time with her before she goes away. He says they grew so quickly and he wants to spend time with them before they marry and have their own lives. At 25 I certainly didn’t sit around with my dad and hang out with him every evening?? Of course my parents weren’t divorced. Hmm. I do love him and he’s actually the one who said he loves me first. It just started out as booty calls. But progressed to living each other. He talks about a future together and asked if he could move in after his daughter goes to college. I said yes, but that’s almost another year. Maybe slow is a good pace? I’m a widow and do not have children. So, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want me to meet his daughters if he loves me. Holidays are approaching and he will continue to be with his family and I with mine. He says we will combine holiday’s next year. Am I being too patient?
Hey Carole
I have been entertaining a man who doesn’t want to be in a mature relationship for almost 4 years. He said it out loud in March. Ugh! My problem is I over love, I don’t mirror where he is because I love him so deeply no matter what happens between us I will be the best version of myself for him. I have made mistakes because of being isolated and only being able to do stuff with my family (he’s invited to every gathering) but having separate holidays. I haven’t been allowed to meet Mom. He says I scare him. He is afraid to be vulnerable and in the past he would reject me when I got too close to the commitment conversation and I would stop talking to him. But now we live together and it’s so much harder to avoid the awkward situations.
It’s crazy how illogical we are when it comes to Marraige, relationships, and men.
But we would never let a charming doctor operate on us if they didn’t go through all the requirements to attain their credentials and still then, we would expect nothing less than the surgeon who has had experience and a track record of being responsible with his patients.
No judgement on men who are still figuring themselves out, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let them operate on me.
I really feel awful ,I don’t know if he loves or not ,at one time we were so romantic and now he has started acting awkwardly.sturbbonly I call and does nt answer ,I feel heart broken cause he is the one I love .I don’t know what to do.
Thank you Matthew ! I was 80% sure that my guy was in love with me. Now, I’m 100% sure. My guy met all 4 areas.
We have been together since 2012 and have been through a lot during this time and we survived. I think this relationship is going to continue and the love we have for each other is strong enough that we will be together for the end of time.
Sending my bestest wishes for you ❤️
Truth I’m married one run
This is awesome…thank you for sharing.
He surely loves me and I the same.
It’s 5 years down the beautiful road, no we ain’t perfect but we are best of friends.
Thank you. Mathew I know one is definitely in love with me. The other guy says he loves me but makes no future plans. I see him as ladies man. I like talking to him though.
I don’t know about love… I’m not sure I even know what is it… But I’m wondering if a long term relationship could be based on friendship and strong physical attraction rather than “love”?
I have a this man, basically we’re friends with benefits. We like each other, respect each other, trust eachother. But more than any of those, we’re attracted to each other sexually. We’re both very sexually driven and we never talk about feelings, it’s always about either sex and lust, or some everyday life stuff.
We even talk about the future, what we’ll do together months from now. We see ourselves waking up next to each other. I don’t even know if I need anything more. What extra could “love” add to our unofficial relationship. And is it something that’s needed to keep us together in a long run?
Wow. Informative! This will help me a lot going forward, to truly identify a partner with best intentions and love for me when I go about my dating journey. You are the best Matt..